I could like whatever I wanted to like

My dad got upset as he always did
Usually something unpleasant for me
Until I decided that it was simply funny
And that I got a kick out of it
And though this was not true
It helped a bit


It was raining and I was walking home from school
Soaked and miserable
Until I decided I liked to walk in the rain
And the rest of the walk went by
---no pain!


I had tripped and fell
Bleeding and trying not to cry
Until I decided that people just decided that pain was a bad thing
So I told myself that I enjoyed it
And it helped a bit

Does anything matter, if it's not displayed out there?
Does it really, truly exist, if it is not shared?
Is it honestly worth doing, if no one else knows,
Invisible yet impactful, like the wind blows?
Musing at the crack of dawn, a sleepy Saturday
When one can't see, how do they find a way?

My 20's were fairly forgiving
For the abuse I put them through
And believe you me there were plenty
Of times I tried to pull the wool

And then, the 30's set in
With their share of aches and pains
It doesn't take a detective
To see that I'm the main one to blame

Then wouldn't you know, 40 grabbed hold
And beat me with a crooked stick
After years and years of hard living
You'd think by now I'd be used to it

50 made its way to the stage in a rage
Wondering at what I had done
A familiar groan to these old bones
Reminding me when invincibility was young

Alas now here in my 60's
Popping Advil like it was candy
With pain sprays and creams in case there's a need
Close by my side where it's handy

Yes, the 20's were fairly forgiving
And with me not being much help
If I had known that I'd live this long
I would have taken better care of myself

But then again...

Misspoken broken half-truths and lies;
Classic.
The dump button glows nearby;
ten second delay.
Let 'er rip and kiss it goodbye.

The lifetime spent before it writhing in sheets,
hastily erected schemata with guts knotted up;
misjudged calculations and justifications -
not so easily dumped.

Tripped over admissions and half-felt surprise;
Classic.
The eject button lights up nearby,
hovered over with shaky digits.
Hit it quick and let 'er rip.
No time for goodbyes.

Count the secrets that you keep.
Fingers crossed the roof won't leak.
Took a chance and caught a peak.
Count your blessings and be careful what you seek.
Test the waters.
Talk is cheap.

Stolen dance with mistaken feet.
A lit up button to admit defeat.
Hesitate until it's too late to get away.
Classic.

Stay warm and safe, the frost bites deep,
Clinically clean, your wounds won't weep.
Bare white thoughts, they echo purity,
But you're one of his, dying gently.

Generations bleed for a precious cause,
Love’s a little touch in a world with flaws.
Dreams drift like ash in the breath of life,
I've seen too much, yet remain the child.

Troubled lifetimes, reincarnations twist,
Honest goodbyes slip through the mist.
Chasing the truth with a golden dragon,
Nothing’s impossible—dive in, abandon.

From darkness I scream, reaching for the rock,
He stands firm as my reality shocks.
Unexpected surprise, you bear my pain,
I am nothing without you, insane refrain.

Bulletproof faith, I let it all out,
Dictator bloodline, my grandad's route.
Strong characters play chicken on the road,
Russian roulette, where raw honesty explodes.

Stay warm and safe, for the frost bites deep,
Bare your wounds, but no need to weep.
In chaos, in love, in blood-soaked rhyme,
We rise and fall, defying time.