Looking down at my body
"Whose is this? It's not mine! It can't be.."
Seeing the feminine shape and curves
Seeing the thing that isn't there
Realizing how I really look
Hoping one day, I might just be who I dream I am...

A growing flower in the field
A wilting flower
A different flower
The flower hates itself, its wilted grey self
Flowing in the wind is the poor dead flower

Echoes in my ears
Screaming "Stop! Stop!"
All I can feel is the intense sting of the cold blade
More and more
A warm red liquid navigates down my wrist
More and more blood sits atop my arm
A large smile spreads across my face
The beauty of the red glistening liquid absorbs my mind
I am unable to hear the echoes in my mind once again

Blood on my arms
My legs
My hands
The blade
I did it
What I did was fail
Fail at keeping the blade away from my skin
The blade stung
It stung so bad
It made me feel happy
But now I am dead
Dead with regret

Blood drips from the deep crevice in my skin
Tears build up in my eyes from the pain I inflicted
"More.." I say
Gliding the sharp blade over my skin
Heavy breathing
"I feel better..."
I say lying to myself

I want to die...
I want to die...
I want to DIE
No
I want to be happy...

Prepare for the worst
Prepare for the best
Prepare when ever you can
Falling deeper and deeper into this hole
Deeper and deeper I go
No rope
No one to help
Deeper and deeper I go
Nothing was prepared for this event
Nothing