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but that handle was made for his hand
hand - handle
handle - hand

the fingers would close
around it to never let go
It had to have flesh around it
at all times
But the blade...
the blade was still naked. He couldn't let
the blade naked
It wasn't fair

"So that's why you stabbed your
mommy then?" the psychiatrist asked him.

"Yes," he said.

"The knife is more important
to you than mommy?"

"The knife listens. Mommy doesn't."
Just like the ticking of the clock
You keep the beat of my heart
Why
Do we lie
Then deny
Why
Do we let love die
Say goodbye
Why
Do we trust
Then lust
Why
Do we try so hard
Then put up a guard
Why
When we get near
We fear
Why
Do we dream
Then scream
Why
Do we pretend
It will not end
Why
Do we hold back tears
For years
Why
Do we think the hurt will heal
Deny it was real
Why
Did we not share
And never dared
Why
Were we best friends
Then never again
#why
(pulling back the curtains)

looking outside
looking for hope
looking for the way to cope
looking at a tree
thoughts of hanging a rope

the window
reflection of a widow
her head slopes

the window
lays
an envelope
the note
she clears her throat
it begins to rain
she whispers my name
with no blame
with no shame
i love you
the
same

the window
(the curtains close)
But
I would not have anyone else
I'd  rather be by myself

Again I am headed toward the door
Thinking I cannot take it anymore
But right before
I turn around
She is setting on the floor
Crying
Telling me
There will never be anyone else
I had rather be by myself
It's not easy
We are going to hate each other at times
Baby your mine
Love is hard to define
Don't give up
Don't stop trying
Our love is not dying
Come back now
We will figure out how
Stay
Don't leave
It's not easy
But
In us, I believe
I shut the door
Baby
We have to change what was before
It's not easy
But
I would not have anyone else
I'd rather be by myself
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