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 May 2016 Thomas
Little Bear
There's nothing like a house full
when you're a single parent
and you'd think the mess you find you're in
would be a good deterrent

But there's nothing to compare
despite the tears and all the struggles
to everyday the love you have
and the kisses and the cuddles

And i'll say this from the start
there's no one else i'd rather be
and raise my kids alone
it's a job made just for me

And despite the sleepless nights
and the sticky fingerprints
and the ***** piles of washing
and the room that always stinks

There's a bundle of four children
who are as happy as can be
they really are a rabble
but I know that they love me

We've all been though some heartache
and quite traumatic things
but everyday is worth it
no matter what it brings

And even if the washing
is piled to the sky
and the dog wants to move out
though I can't imagine why

And the plugholes always blocked
and there's arguing afoot
and everyone got taller
from the last time that I looked

And they play on the same server
all laughing with each other
all in different bedrooms
two sisters and two brothers

You'd never know that last night
there was almost World War 3
and a hostage negotiation
over playing DayZ

But rules here must apply
there are chores and a curfew
a sense of order must be kept
even if you're 6 foot 2

I count my blessings as I go
and for each other we are glad
when you raise your kids alone
being both their Mum and Dad.
Being a single parent is, without doubt, the most challenging and yet the most rewarding thing I will ever do.

At times I will fail but I will try to do my best my whole life
to be what they need.

And one day, I hope they will to go into the world happy,
well rounded, open minded, open hearted adults.

That is my mission
:o)
 May 2016 Thomas
Little Bear
Anxiety
 May 2016 Thomas
Little Bear
Anxiety is a **** curse.
You are sabotaged by your own body and mind.
It twists your reality like it's in your DNA.
Makes you believe you are not worthy or friendships,
love or even your own reflection.
Choices come in small, extra small or sleep until it's over.
Doubting the safety of the ride to work
or if staying in bed will **** you first.
Is it better to be sick or cry.
To shake apart or hold it together.
Intrusive thoughts are a plague
but maybe you'll die from that too.
Your heart reminds you it can stop at any moment
and to prove the point it then beats so loud
even the dog can hear it.
You don't know why it happens
because your brain is on lock down
and there's nothing you can do about it.
Your very bones betray you
shaking like they have nothing better to do..
like hold you up.
Anxiety takes you hostage
and the ransom you pay
is the freedom of feeling normal.
 May 2016 Thomas
r
Flamed
 May 2016 Thomas
r
One night soon
someone
will strike a match
on a stone
and read my name.
 May 2016 Thomas
gray rain
Emptiness
 May 2016 Thomas
gray rain
Emptiness
feels like death
nothingness
in your chest

drowning emotion
space explosion
gaps unfilled
yet nothing spilled

enclosed
alone
no emotion
shown


just hollow
a shell
living in hell
you follow

*nothing
no interest
no meaning
just destress

unknowing
unidentified
emptiness
nothing inside
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