I grit my teeth as they say your name
Smile like I don’t care
My heart is pounding
I force the lie through my lips
And it burns like poison
You mean nothing to me anymore
What a lie that was

My truth will set me free
Because it has to
I can’t breathe trapped in here
Suffocating on my own anger
Spilling from my eyes
White hot
And it burns me again
As it always has
But I grit my teeth through the pain
As I always have
I deny you the pleasure of watching me suffer
I know that’s what you crave
But you’ll suffer as I have
I promise
Trust my rage

Seeing your face like this
Breaks my heart again
Into a thousand pieces
Scattered carelessly
And I stare at them wordlessly
Because words are lost to me now
I could not describe how I feel right now
So I bite my tongue
To hold off the tears a little longer
Not much longer now
Goodbye my friend
I miss you

I can keep choosing words
To express what I’ve lost
But it’s not complicated
I loved you
It doesn’t matter how
And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop crying
Ever let you go
You’re gone
And I’m broken without you
What’s new?

I’ll have to turn to apathy
Because caring hurts too ******* much

If I could numb the world
Or numb myself to it
Then maybe I could let something go
Look at the white of my knuckles
Admit defeat
And be free
But it’s too strong
And I’ve never known anything else
Other than holding on
Too long

You could never appease me
Never make up for what you’ve done
And I will only know peace
When I am bathed in flame
As the smoke fills my lungs
I will know that I am a survivor
And all that will remain of you
Will be ash
And I still won’t be satisfied
Because fire is too good for you