My writing is what helps me
It pushes my out of my bed in the mornings
It drags across the room to get dressed
It makes me walk all the way to the kitchen
It even whispers to me if I forget something
My writing helps me let go
And let out
But my writing will never truly speak to me
At least not in the way God will
My writing knows what I tell it
But God knows even what I still don't discover
My writing says love only if I write it,
God shows love even when I hate it
My writing needs me to pick it up
God picks me up with my writing
If you still don't see the difference
Ask God, I'm sure he will find a way!
she found a way for me!

Some people call it destiny
Because he came during the time that you thought you needed him the most
Some people call it destiny
Because he appeared like a prince in shining armor
But he wasn't what you thought it would be.
He hit her
He humiliated her,
that's not love
He pressed her wings down and didn't let her fly,
that's not love
It doesn't matter if you say it backwards
or hide in the closet hoping he wont find you
It is still not love
As much as you try,
you cant blame this one on alcohol
Or stress
or temper.
It is not love
Love forgives.
That is why you forgive him
But you don't let him continue what he is doing,
Do it for the kids that are watching.
How many times did he almost made you forgive him
and almost loose your children.
Give these problems to God
Don't make the mistake my mother did
SHe left
and planted hate in each of us,
but for her it was a field of
regrets, hates, and rancor.
Forgive but let go!

Will you believe
If I told you
He died for you!!!

She walked home after a long day
Her day had been a battle field
It was only one block
from the place her bus dropped her of
To the place she called home
It had been a day where everything
seemed impossible
It had been a day where life
seemed unconquerable
She walked down the sidewalk with some doubts
Every step counted the words
the mistakes
the times she almost gave up
Every breath told a new story
of the times she made a fool of herself
Of the times she was made fun of
Every blink of an eye could count the times
she had been betrayed
Or when she was left alone
Or when she got hurt
But after every step
After every breath
After every blink of an eye
She smiled?
Was she THAT crazy
and coming to realize,
she wasn't counting the steps as words
She wasn't counting the breaths as stories
She wasn't counting the blinks as the times bad things would happen
She counted differently
In a way that she herself, didn't understand.
Each step marked each time she pushed him away
and he kept coming back
Every breath counted the times she almost stopped breathing
and how she resurrected
and every blink of an eye counted the times he was there
When she thought she was alone
She could have counted the nearby trip as the time
when she was about to make the worst mistake of her life
But she counted it as that day she got saved
And how she was washed In his blood
How she was baptized in the name of Jesus
She was saved from the words
from the stories
and from THOSE times.
She was his words
His stories
and HIS times...
She had him
HER SAVIOR AND KING
MY SAVIOR AND KING
YOUR SAVIOR AND KING
The one who loved her, you, and me like no one else ever will!  
And all it took was 5 minutes from the bus stop,
to her home.
That was the counting of a life time
That was all she needed to remember him
That was all she needed to count HER life time

My first love was you, Jesus
My loves was you
In the darkness where i stood,
the lights were off
my heart was dim
And as u got closer i pushed you away
But you never gave up
Because  you love me
and wanted me for you
And with your love and your mercy
you won me over form the world
And you gave a name and
you turned around
You gave a new destiny
I was destined for death
I was destined for misery
But gave me your life
And no am destined to eternity with you
I am destined to your purpose
And i will always love you
Because you loved first!

(Please read entirely)
Her life began to become the dark room she always ran away from
The memories in her mind were the reminder of who she was
The times she spend in the darkness of her room,
Were now the reminder of what she became
And the sparkle in eyes,
Were only captured in the pictures of a younger age.
She tried to hide it with a smile
With a nice compliment
With a positive attitude.
But there were times when she was alone,
when she couldn't and didn't,
want to think
or remember
and much the least,
she didn't want to let it become her present
But how could she find a way to erase it from her mind
How much must she do,
to let the memory die!
It might have taken many things:
Suicidal tries
Drugs
Alcohol
All types of pills
and anything
Superficial
like cutting
and self-hurt
it didn't matter how she tried
or who she was,
She let the memory become a daily nightmare
She let it become an obsession
Until she met someone
He wasn't like the others
He wasn't like anyone else
Because no one else did for her what he did
He was a king,
and became a peasant for her
He was the ruler,
and he excepted rule for her
He became hated,
and loved his enemies for her
She rejected him so many times,
Yet he put his life in for her
When she found him
She was too blind to see him
So he gave her sight
When in the water she was cleaned
And she wanted some to talk to
he gave her his spirit
so she could hear him
They talked together
In a language that only he could understand
In a language where her true feelings,
were the words that came out
She had no need for blades,
No need for pills,
No need for nothing else
She was free from the chains
Of lies
Thievery
Hypocrisy
Hatred
*******
and many more things!
He gave her everything and his name is Jesus
He is the father of those who need him
The son on those who want him
And the holy ghost for those who must hear him
He is the only things she needs