So here I am, once again
Lacking all self esteem,
And dignity and pride,
But above all things,
Lacking him.

If I don't run in his direction,
If I don't hug him when he is near,
Is because all my loving,
I keep it caged,
Suffering,
Starving,
Begging for some love,
A kiss, a smile, a look,
Anything from him.

But I keep it caged,
For its own protection,
I'll let it die,
Rot and decompose,
A dying love is easier to take,
Than his indifference.

Please, I beg you
I implore you
To leave me alone

If you're confused
Or had a moment of weakness
An impulse of momentary courage
that will fade quickly
Please don't
Don't do it
Don't come back
For I know you will leave again
with no explanation
other than leave me wondering again
Why
Why  is it always a desire
Instead of a fact

I'd rather have you leave forever
Than come back
And be a lie I can never have