I woke up again
And had a day
To me I lent
I have to stay
Lonely repent
It isn't mine
My head so tangled
All the time
Can never figure out
When to shout
Where's the time I spent
It left and never came back
Live for nothing
Over and over
Pretend it's something
Can't access myself
The interface too complex
Next
Next
Next
Next

Claw marks on the walls
Cover my vision
All I can see
All I can breath
The sea of green that blankets me
There's been a breach
In cell sixteen

Ripped and picked clean
Sound of broken glass
A broken voice?
And soon all is silence except a sound cannot be described
Realises he must be the last
A son at the end of the corridor screams out for dads help
Shifting and phasing, a pulsating mass

These are dreams
I am he and he is I
Who am I then
Am I even me?
Senseless makes you panic
Panic makes it easier to rip and pull you clean
A whispering voice drills into the psyche

Funk plays in the distance
A favourite band
Followed by screaming you've never heard
Followed by the soundscape and the clawing
Follow it
Good.
Good ******* God

Wake up
The claw marks still pressing
The sickness inside
Find it
The only way
He's escaped from cell sixteen

Find him in his hole
The hole there
Yes
The hole there!
Climb in and find it
Pick and pull it clean

Can't take it back now
We've found a new home
A new home
A new home
A new home
A new home
A new home
A comfy rocking chair
A nice new home in cell sixteen

Low effort, high effort content
Meaningless content
Fake content
Real content
Something
Nothing
Patterns that make no sense
Make patterns make sense
Art
Rambling
Order in Chaos
Just a feeling
Good enough

No one's coming to save you
Get used to that
Feel so alone
Run out of things to say
Everything feels so empty
When I run out of ideas to share
And nothing excites me anymore
And I bang my head against these walls
And I don't stop
And the cranks are turning
And they never stop turning
And it's getting tighter
And it's getting nearer
And it won't stop hunting
And it won't stop hurting
As long as you're beating
I can hear it's blood travelling
Keep it away please
Please keep it away from me
It has no face and it scares me
No one can seem to name it
Slithers back
Back to where it can't be seen

Take my hand
Move through these scenes
The ghost of now and everything
Trust in process; Soak in progress
Only speak when you feel the need
They drive for me, hopefully forward
For hopeful futures freed

What's me what's that
A me

Fall
Can't
It what's it a

Thing
That it sees me
Sees

I
Lost it
I  take.

Rake it
Fake it till.

...
Till you.

Make it

Rod it

I'm told it.

S

Missile
Mispelled
Some bring


.
Something rot
To




Rotten
..
C

Cm



Books

We're all God's here
Proper nouns apparently
A fine line drawn between two definitions
I lack the definition definitely

The face of truth
A plasticine thing
Prodding at it makes me laugh desperately
Right next to
Not inside
A Plasticine suicide

Just a kid I've heard
Some things just end
Ah you'll never learn
Trying to make these things bend

I could be whatever I want to be
The human destiny
Or a fly on the wall of a brand new reality

Just a feeling
Invest in stocks
The market
Invest in socks
We stare at skin
It's so soft
The numbers keep changing
Yesterdays emails
Today's tomorrow always
Creativity
Numbers
Numbers
Numbers
01000110 01100101 01100101 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100111 01110011

It stares at the broken pieces
The mould of reversible desire
Recycled
Chewed and chipped
The key
I'm so scared of the holes
They go so deep I believe
Neck locked forwards
Backwards sleep
Let it steep and pour it out

Wispy lonely fog
One foot in
One foot out
Gnawed at
Blood spurtin
Sawed at
Variable not boolean
Screaming at the naked body in all the cursive I know
Written in bold neon
Live and let live

I'm going to need to start romanticising this brick
The reds nice
I can't seem to see my own hands anymore
Last night I disappeared
Framed now
A
Sound
Great
Another one
And another one
Senses
I can't wait for next week
I can't wait for next week
I can't wait for next week
Slipping up again?
You serious?
What a fantastic loop
What time is it?
Had a great night last time
We looked around for once all those weeks ago now
I saw your red bricks
We
Are
Here
Again
Dopamine situation out of control
Screaming that screaming never did a thing
Framing another picture for your children to look at once you're gone
That's great for you
I just couldn't let them see themselves like this
All ourselves until we're not
I want to go home again

I don't care
I'd rather watch my future walk away
Than face it right now
It's face rotting off
I can't look
I won't look
I haven't the energy to turn my head anyways
Altered space
I wish it was the books
I wish I could write
Stamping on everything
Carefully
Taking meaning no more
Just sticking things everywhere
Leaving things nowhere
My whole being broken now
So I don't think I can

It's just that I felt invincible on Friday
It's Tuesday now and I just lie there
Look around but no ones here
On your own again
Don't touch me
I needed you yesterday
It's Monday now and it's fine because it has to be
These words can keep me company
Shallow end, deep end
Can't swim anyways
Don't look at me, I'm beautiful
Oh you have your stars still?
Can't see them on my screen
33% and falling fast
Watch myself fall through the gap in my eye
A coin
A couch
a Mirror
a Mind

I see cold faces in a line
Looking on in horror at their broken legs
I see pain and ask them to be ok
Looking back it's too hard to stay
But I see them tell me it's too much to say
The sound of exchange reminds us all
Keep Forward
There's a sunrise every now and then and after all
It's all just business.

I never knew crows could salivate like that
Like the creeping ambience of a David Lynch movie
The grinding cogs, the dripping stench
The reverberation of forgetting you're alive
The last feeling you've ever had that you couldn't savour because you never knew
I see the memory of that fleeting moment pass by the windows
And I wonder how it got so bad

I like loading
And the faint sounds in the distance
And the breif whispers to keep me cold company
I like things I don't recognise
Styles I step on
I like far away
I hate him
I want my eyes to be different
I hate how polite he looks
I want to rip his eyes out and replace them with just the pupils and the cornea and the parts I like
I want him to be parts I like
But he never is
Whenever I'm convinced he will be what I ask
He waddles out, all scrunched up, not wanting to step around too much in case his footsteps are too loud, god I hate him

Stretched out face keep screaming
Melted conceiving
Keeps overwriting itself
Why can't it stay with me?
Doesn't trust me?
Doesn't need me?

Sickening constant
Irrationally circling
Try to distract
From the guts spilling in front of me
Spits on the notes
The proofs
Created inside
Now it won't stop watching
Observe it creeping
Key change to static
Open books begin to rewrite themselves
Pages erase
And it's face starts to bleed through
The dying child
Emerging terror

I say it's a whole flower
They say it's yellow
I say ok
They say only their clone matters
Oh yeah I see what they mean
All rights reserved
Only my reflection cares
Only my eyes turn to springs and run around the room
Apparently I'm the spare
The full stop that keeps jumping around
But never makes a sound
Oh God
I hope humanities compound

No sleep
Can't stand the thought of tomorrow
Unpredictable tangled path
Planted some of those thorns myself
Insurmountable, indestructible, indescribable
summed up: help

Because your eyes are always better than mine
And mine don't fit right in the sockets
You could try
I always grasp them too tight
Your flowers built better
In my mind I imagine mine
It's always different when I show it out loud

I want my eyes to be difficult to see
The shape of something not invited
Something uninvolved
Unsolved
Because everyone's eyes are the most important
And fit so right in their sockets
I want mine to fit anywhere
Your flower grows better
So I just want each part kept safe in a different point in time
I hate him
I hate him
He's not me and I hate him
There's a kid in there somewhere scribbling solutions so easily
I've lost custody

I'm trying so hard to live for myself
Not the invisible folk who pick at my head
Twisted fiction claws up my throat
Pieces of heart spit back out

Spent many nights wretching
Trying to wash them out
Now I supress them
Squashed heads of doubt
Read all about
It just can't be real

Just give me a chance and I'll prove that I exist
Just someone please prove my souls not myth
Scrape off the excess
Off the filth and the pith
Remove this rotten abscess
It makes me feel sick

Crazy how the mist moves
I cant see it anymore for the objects
I cant see it anymore
Haaugh - a new sound
The way the mist goes
Replaced with objects
The videos
Plays the memories backwards
Seeking it forwards
It's good enough to be the truth
If I didn't know any better I would gather it up
Crazy how the mist goes
Love stones
Line breaks everywhere
Care free territory
Literally
I'm telling you this means nothing
On the paper
It never matters
Pppppourous
People flatten
Clapping when it gets around that time
Time to get going
Crazy how the mist goes

In my mind it's different
My mind isn't different
Same old material
Same old objects
Same old videos
But they play them backwards here
And it's crazy how the mist moves

It's x-ray
It's crazy
It's mispelled
It's TV
Don't **** me
I need this
Don't **** me in this mist

Do you live as who you want to be?
How well is the costume made?
Made from future parts
And parts picked out from an early age
Your life trickles down and drips on your soul
Can you survive it?
The happiness it stole
Do you remember?
How you were before?
When you crawl
I laugh when you're on the floor and can't breath anymore
Your whole life shaking
You can catch up when it's running backwards

I'm placing the words right next to eachother
Rhyming them together
Because apparently they sound better
Every sentence to the letter
Just think about writing them for some reason
999
The police never arrive
You never called
Just placed here for no one to find
This should be a new verse I suppose
And it should rhyme
Doesn't really matter
No one will know
Hard to care, I'm only a mime

Pulling into the empty station, word association
Prodding creation
The son of the son of the son of the son
Same ****** surgeons gun
Brand new life that's how it's spun
Sounds more like rolling dice
Gambling, that's fun

Mask of meaning on primal instincts
Invented symbols to help to cope
What is truth in random access?
Claws sharpened on hardened hope
Hope hardened on right and wrong
And nothing is great because nothing means nothing
Nothing to trip on
And nothing to know

Shut it off
I don't mind the autopilot
If it numbs me
To blend in
Mediocre wave feels like serenity
Take all of me
I know nothing
Just take me away
Stop resisting
Trying so hard to understand
It's not needed
Just need somewhere safe to land
Let my your mind let go of the soul
Pack your things and let time flow
Don't need to know
It's not so hard to be happy
I know nothing so
Stop holding yourself hostage
Let you be who you are
I exist in despite of myself
Enjoy the Show!

Maybe it's not an inflation but I'm sure it's unsafe to stay there too long. It's so much bigger than real though, I just wish I could do the same. Seen as though I clearly can't be successfully subtle about anything I may as well just say what I'm talking about explicitly. I'm talking about the kind of art that really gets under your skin. The type that, in no pretentious way, reflects reality and abstract thought/emotion in such a real way. It's crazy that even a melody or production can convey so much meaning. I wish I could do that. Maybe it's an ego thing, maybe I'd feel more interesting if I could put my thoughts into good art. Maybe this is art

11:11 the patterns please me
I can hold on
Every day
Sporadic shed
A new me peeks round the corners of tomorrow's tomorrow
Meal deal: contains dead ducks and creature flavoured crisps
Abstracting the detail only leaves me with this
Write it down in hopes it's what you actually feel
Marketing and Typography
Made to heal
I wonder if people think like this
Look into the eyes of strangers and try and see what they seek
Lunch and a brand new jacket
Makes them feel unique

Folding bodies
Moving hands
Nest machine



Locked

Help

Folding bodies
Neat machine
Brain
Free
Help

Request
Deny
Try and try
You're the spy
You're the lie
No I don't cry
Crystal sky
Falls on me
Back now
Reset
Lost my mind?

No
All representations
It is right
Awakening
Crowned
Manic smile truth drew on my glowing mind

I hear my name in reverse
It expels from I
Leaks out beyond my vision
The clouds forming spell desire
It's not about what you do
It's about how you deal with the silences in between
Every moment a microtone

When do I get to be someone new
I'm part of a many
Stroking my own identity
Lie they tell you to stop you from stopping

A simple mind
A tapping noise
Some light I like
The problems solved
That's alright
Its always been
The warmth I need beneath my feet
The marks are there, the basic lines
The rubbing out of no idea

I'll put my fears and dreams inside this cookie
Launch it into electronic consciousness
Form another psyche from the parts left over and create a life
**** life; another dice roll
Make sure the next one can breath and that will be fine
I'll allow it to breath and that's enough
Just stick parts together to create a thing
Fingers crossed, mind twisted
The wires are loose and I don't care
I just need it breathing and thinking
I'll stick his body parts to the ceiling
Just where he can see them
Staring upwards at the blocks that keep him silent
I'll build roads he'll never see
I'll build hell inside him
Miss feel tap forehead create life create words create world's dont care peel layers see nothing hatred dear one hatred and fear and nothing new for him stay locked keep kicking stop kicking keep kicking stop never stop thinking never feel loved stealing stealing stealing stealing stealing