I envy the sun
For it gets to
See you wake up
Every morning
It gets to linger
Your skin and gets
To give you that
Radiant glow

I envy the moon
For it gets to
Watch you sleep
Every night
It gets to kiss
Your lips and
Skin goodnight
With no hesitation

I fear the radiation
Of the sun for it burns
My soul till the depths
Of its life

I fear what lies way beneath
The surface of the earth for
It may crawl and steal the
Little bit of air I have

I fear what lies deep within
The world for it may lead either
To eternal life or death

I fear what may be discovered of me...I fear.

Death knocking on my door
Waiting for me to open
But as I begin to walk towards the door
And open the door ****
A heavy though protrude my mind

To be stable?
Anyone who knows how it
Feels completely sane
To just be normal
And totally fit in?
Me neither

I know how it feels
To want to bleed your eyes out
To want to stab a knife right
Through your mind
To want to turn your flesh
Inside out.
All the thoughts that run
Through my mind have
More power over my life

But how do you find sanity
If the purest thing about you
Died years ago?
Nothing but insanity running
Right though my veins

The pain still haunts me
My heart still aches
My eyes still cry
The emptiness right
Through my soul
Left stranded with
No direction
where to go
Lost in my
Own thoughts
My whole being is
On the edge hanging
Onto a thread
Your death not
Only bruised me
But killed the bit
Of happiness and
Hope I had.

Thank you
For a world
Of kindness

Thank you
For your
Endless patience

Thank you
For your
Sensitive understanding

Thank you
For Your
Love