I've let the winds comfort me
I've let myself be swept away
When the stars hid behind clouds hued grey
I've sat and waited for silver linings and new day.
But now I can't keep the winds on a leash
Forgive me, for what I might end up saying, please?
Because I've kept the band of silence wrapped around my mouth for long,
And tonight I don't have it in me to be strong.

I remember the times I use to play, with toys coloured in hues of yellow and grey
When my mother tucked me into dreams with a sweet lullaby
When the wounds I got healed up in time
When I didn't get lost because I had a hand in mine.
When the only monsters I was scared of were under my bed
I've grown up, but they still scare me; they are now in my head.

There are people smiling with eyes freezing cold
There are ones that call "Angel", and push me into the storm.
There is a society that always wants to judge
Compares, constricts and locks me in a room of their
hollow morals gathering dust.
There is a love that doesn't make sense
Wasn't it supposed to make you whole? Why do I feel,
all pieces and ripped soul?
The fairy tales lied, there was no 'happily ever after', after the end.

You say, I'm not good enough,
How do I tell you that I already know?
What is pretty about a face stained with teardrops shed
in the dark of night alone?
How do I tell you about my broken smile?
My eyes that shine, not with my happiness but of those
in my life.
How do I tell you about how I've loved and lost?
That I still dream about the dead hand I never got to
touch.
Do you know that abandoned ruins and thunderstorms
resemble me the most?
Because under the masks I wear, there are wars I fought
How do I tell you I feel lonely?
Because they all claim they're different, but the ones that differ, are left alone.
How do I tell you you're my only friend?
Because everyone I love leaves me in the end.
How do I tell you what you already know, aren't you my reflection in the mirror on the wall?

I never said I would be easy
But I also wasn't so hard
That you made me stand outside you
While I let you inside my heart.
 
There were nights I crawled
Into my bed, to never find warmth and peace
Keeping my side of our promises
Isn't easy alone, you see.
 
There were hours I spent
Waiting on you,
Only for you to arrive and leave;
While I, in all my foolishness, thought you were the antidote to me.
 
I fall down everyday
In trying to make us rise.
I silence them everyday,
Those tears that slide down my cheeks asking, "Where's the end to this sacrifice?"
 
Conversations with you turn stale
Solutions take turns insane
Is goodbye our closure?
Maybe, yeah - I should've known! "Happily ever after"s were never in my fate.
 
But before we do that,
Before I leave,
I wish you knew this,
I wish you understood my side of the scene -
I never stopped waiting on you, even when I said no
I never stopped loving you, even when you said don’t
And that moment you threw us away
I died, and continue to do so.
 
**Forever yours.