I guess your story dont really matter unless you beat a ****** case.
Unless you sell a lot of plates.
Unless you gang banging your set
With a gun and big chain.
Fell into this life young
but I’m im glad that I got out safe.
Came sacrifices from my body
But I still made it out that place.
Others weren’t so lucky
to live and see another day.
Some spent their time in prison
Came home and found another way.
Some do the same ****
Guess they learning the hard way.
If he’s was smart he’d take his family
And move far far away.
Man I live for the vision
But the time is just ticking.
I give this **** my all
and never planned on quitting.
Seen ****** blow up with one song
And I ain’t ego trippin.
It’s just been ten years of grinding
On this one big mission.
All the days through depression
Staring gaze at a weapon.
Spin the chamber put to my head
if it bang it’s a blessing.
Some say it’s weak
I say easy it’s if you tired of living.
Hard to fight back when your body has been wired to give in.
Needed god to pick me up
But I just kept on slipping.
Some just keep on smoking.
Some just keep on drinking.
I just keep on thinking
When will I be winning.

It’s crazy cause the devil
wears a golden Jesus piece
All you got was a cell block
When you gave your life to the streets
Times non refundable
Dining in a ****** zoo
Never hit the next level
Cuz you always living comfortable
Throw a little bread
and watch all the birdies Come to you
Kick a lil knowledge
and watch all the fools run from you
Surrounded with a essence of greatness
Filled with lessons and patience
Step out of line of that familiar cadence
I see the true ugly siting beneath your soul
Like you got the EZ pass it’s gonna take it’s tolls
Sit back and sip it’s glass
while you break and fold
My words alone
could take a pen and paper and make it gold
You know I seen it a million times
With mischievous eyes
When gods cry
the rain bleeds through the sky
I manifest and pain leaks through to guide
Pushed over the edge
And you build the instinct to survive

Stiff with pain a vague sense of vindication
Made with bones that break
And a unseeing soul to lose.
The search for a solution continues
Simultaneously as the existence of fear.
Born pure , poisoned slowly as we lose our youth, dying moderately until the inevitable.
We slave for materials that bond us without chains
blind us without losing sight and bland our taste for real pride , replacing it with deceiving
Pleasures of vanity.
Are we ever freed from this constricting aura
The blissful arrogance.
To the peak with no safety net to fall on
encourages the pursuit
Enhances the will.
Everyday the sun rises
But every night brings recurring darkness

When does it get better?
Where do you find it?
How do I become content with what I have?
I feel like i have been chasing it for so long , but I’m so far. Physically I can make the run , mentally I’m already done. I have never understood what’s the gift. It’s more like a curse ,  it’s more like a long stretch of pain. It’s the questions that I don’t have yet that scare me the most. I yearn for the answers but I’m not sure I can be trusted with it’s responsibility. Where did I go wrong? This is the life where hope fails you.