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I am a walking oxymoron
I am a contradiction
I consider myself a realist
but crave the taste of fiction

I am a both sides of an argument;
much like the true colors of freedom
I bristle at words of affirmation
because I hate that I need them

Oh, wretched heel!
Oh, bane of life!
Cease to inflict your funereal strife!
What must it take?
Would I be healed,
Should my dichotomies be revealed?

I am a fire upon the sea
I am a grand confliction
I write as if I have no inhibitions,  
but it seems that words are an addiction
Cassidy Claire Johnson © 2016.
you turn me
into someone
I am not-
but-
the only time I am myself
is with you.

you are the sunshine:
with a small taste
I feel
radiant,
effortless,
full.
with too much,
I get burnt.

like a moth
to a light-bulb;
I seek you.
I will fry myself-
I will burn-
just to feel your warmth.

the hot sunshine
in the desert
forms
a mirage,
an oasis,
a luscious stream of water
to quench
my endless thirst.

when I am close enough
to reach it,
I realize there was
nothing.
all along-
my paradise-
nothing
but the hot,
dry sunshine
and my
never-fulfilled desire.

engulf my planet,
fatal fireball,
disguised as an
angel from afar;
I want my skin to melt
in your
blistering light,
like a candlestick.
I want to
melt into a puddle
of who I once was.

I don't know how to live without you.
I'm both too much
and too little,
a full moon and
an eclipse;
I have never
known balance.

— The End —