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 Mar 2018 Ikjot Singh
Priya
Tired and exhausted, here I sit
Thinking of the things that have changed today.
M Still confused, why it happened to her.
She has lost everything today.  Everything.
Her childish smile, carefree looks, innocent eyes.
Everything.
It’s lost now.
Her once sparkling eyes are lifeless now,
There she is sitting with a heavy heart,
Like soulless a creature.
Though she has not died physically
But her soul, her purity, her charms, her senses are taken away of her.
She is still pondering what her fault was.
Why that filthy looking creature who she has once considered her uncle
Had touched her.
Why he kissed her like that.
Her once gleaming eyes are now clouded with tears.
Her pride has been shaken.
It seems as if the man’s touch has taken everything that once belonged to her.
She is still wondering why she wasn’t able to react to that man.
Why this was done to her.
She took him to be a father like a figure
And he tried to destroy her pride.
That small girl, who has not turned even sixteen until now
Is surrounded with darkness
Wondering why she was so soft then
Even after knowing whatever is happening is wrong.
She could have called out for help but all she did was,
She sat there mindlessly…….
It wasn’t that she was illiterate a child,
No, she was quite educated a girl.
She had knowledge about the actions that could have been taken.
Yet, she sat there lifelessly….
Angry, no she wasn’t angry
For she knew it was not man’s fault
But it was her fault that she had allowed him so far
She was quite, I guess because she would have been taught to be polite,
To be quite and to behave nicely
For she was born a girl.
She is not suppose to speak out loud
Even if something wrong happens to her
After all she is a girl…..

But yes, indeed some things have changed today
Some emotions took shape in her…some feelings born and some died...
Anger and hate toward men had born
And that small girl of sixteen with gleaming eyes and huge bright smile has died….
She is no more...
The one who replaced her is stronger than ever.
She knows how to speak out loud.
She has learnt that verbally abusing the one
Who is sexually abusing you is better an alternative.
She has learnt to be bold enough to stand against society...
But still emptiness and darkness is there
Somewhere within her
Prevailing continuously
And will keep growing forever…
For her soul has been shattered today……..
Just what does it feel like?
Is it all peachy moment after moment
Is it about muffins, rainbows and unicorns
Or a smile so constant that cheeks ache
Is it the buoyant presence of a presence
Of a lone sentinel to avert your fall
Is it the warmth of the arms
you surrender yourself to
Or a romantic ambience
Immeasurably delightful
Or is it the absolute vacancy
Of melancholy
Or maybe just the belief in yourself
Is it the period when you break free
from the heavy corroding chains that restrict

It is, in fact,
Something volatile
Something more tense than calming
Something more exasperating than pleasing
Menacingly merciless
Joltingly jeopardizing
*Execratingly endangering
To every person happiness has a different definition.
It is an emotion which justifies even the misdeeds. It is the bringer of sorrow.
Think about it, a thief will be 'happy' robbing your home successfully.
I am adamant
Yet diffident
I am vulnerable
Yet resilient
The fascinating kind
Let me be your prestige
Let me be your sigh
I wish to reign your gut
I wish to rule your mind
Strangle me
Entreat me with pain
And I will endure
Caress me
Entreat me with love
And I will reciprocate
Seize me
I will flutter
Chop off my wings
I will still flutter
Let me fly
Ah..
*I will still
only flutter
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