A feeling where you are already alive but people don't cry for you

Why should I fear oblivion
When I'm terrified of you
Sure, I've no clue what lay ahead
In the realm of shots in the dark
But with you
It's an endless loop of suffering
We talk
I love
You leave
I break
We talk
I love
You leave
I break
Over and over
As though it's been set
In a washing with memories
And longing
At least with oblivion
I understand that things are different
To expect nothing
Because everything can change
But you're human
You're not a monster
Because monsters are my friends
You're human and you cannot help
But to repeat history
I obviously can't either
But I don't want to fall under your riptide
Ever again
I want to jump heart first into oblivion
Take shots at nothing
And fail
But have the chance of succeeding
With you there is no changing
I could have loved you forever
But I hate shapes
And darling you're a circle comprised of
Pain, lust, and evil
I'm in love again
This time though
It's with void space
And infinite shapeless possibilities

The human heart has the loudest language imaginable
It's entirely universal
Yet also frighteningly individualistic
There's nothing that sounds worse
Than a heartbreak
It's messy and silent
With forced screams and (un)shed wails
It sounds like a body hitting the ground
After diving off the Empire State Building
It feels like death
And in some ways it is
Heart aches remind us we're living
With faint pangs of memories
After the heart break
It's the aftershock of a human made earthquake
It rocks your world
And brings tears to the eyes
Sometimes it's worse than a heartbreak
Because it's the resurfacing
Redamaging
Of those memories and that pain
Heart yearns are so natural
And caused by something
Simple as a crush
And complex as real as true
Earnest and genuine love
There's nothing more pure
Than a heart yearn
It's hope and light
Dashed with brilliancy and fear
Because there is nothing more exhilarating
Than the unknown endeavors of a heart

In the beginning our creation was supposed to lead to our damnnation
And as i grew, i cried myself away, but those tears carried me through the day.
More and more through perseverance I find my heart is still beating in these dark times are receiving and I've seen many days turn to Dawn
and I often feel so alone, so gone
but I always ask the question
if I speak will i inspire the weak?
because we all start somewhere
humble beginnings,
and through a Dark Night comes a bright day and the brightest day starts today.
Don't just hear my words but listen to what makes them true.
the beginning is now the clock is started.
we all have a beating heart in our chest that we can call our own
and it's our feelings that we choose to postpone.
but continue to breathe
it's what counts now.
This house you hope to build needs a foundation and maybe you've heard this before
but inspiration is the route on which we grow.
but how can one know because somewhere between the lines there always seems to be lies and deception and this is the Inception of Hope of great and yeah we all go through some hard...well never mind let's keep that refined.
We gotta take this jump it's a cliff away and we might not make it but there is always the chance .
There is a crown and scepter at our feet, but are we brave enough to take this job?
we have a place in the world.
we really do
it's a challenge to believe especially when we're always put down this is the place to start here the place you stand if you need a giant arrow make one ,
but be sure to make sure someone *knows your name

I long for the absolute high I got
When the John Lennon song blasted
Out of my open car windows
Cruising down the interstate
As the sun beat down