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Speen Cough Jul 2015
I'm at a weird point in my life
Nothings bad
but nothings good either
I'm not dreaming anything
I sleep just to sleep
I don't have anything to look forward to in the next day
I'm just living
breathing
being
I kinda feel numb
emotionless
No sadness
but no joy either
No hate
but no love
I'm doing great
life is honestly really good
I just feel
weird.

A switch finally clicked I guess
I'm not in love anymore
but when that emotion turned off
I guess the rest of them turned off too

Why am I so weird
This is how things are now I guess
Speen Cough Jul 2015
I can count to ten now
wanna see?
1 precious daughter from above
2 eyes that catch my gaze
3 handwritten letters I read most every day
4ever sounds kinda nice
5 hours total we've spent together
6 strings on the guitar I play for you
7 surgeries I waited to hear if you were ok
8 at night till 6 in the morning
9 simple songs I wrote about you
10 hour long phone calls
But you taught me more than math
You taught about love
I know it's cheesy, but I guess it's how  feel
Speen Cough Jul 2015
Come with me and take a ride through my own mind
something sinical working inside always makes me cry
for you this all seems to be far too easy but in the real life it's not laughing joke
I sit in my room all night and try hard not to choke
Pressure is building and lights burning low
what the heck is this smoke? I'm not average folks
I'm no run of the mill so lets head to the hill
Watch the cars rushing by always tryin to get somewhere
long winding roads that never lead anywhere
Plagued with these memories and spider web nightmares
I claw at my mind and I try to pick it out
but this is just the first act of this 3 act play
stick around and maybe you'll find the sun ray
I worked really hard, spent long days in dismay
it's all about life and it's called heartbreak highway

I tried pictureing myself without you
but it always came out wrong
What a curious way to show devotion
to someone you'll never have
when lights go dim and curtains call
we'll wish that we could have it all
but heartbreak highways in the way
and it'll never go away

I talk about lighthouses you might wonder why
they represent hope through the dark gloomy sky
that's something you gave me but you take it away
every time you say something about that one night
lets skip to the end cause act two's really dismal
it's running away because of disaproval
The soul leaves the body but comes back  to find
the pain of the world and my demons at arms
act 3's resolution and you who you are
there's a sparkle of hope and you've traveled so far
the end seems so happy if you want it that way
you merge to the right and get off hearbreak highway
you finally move on and your victory throng
it's all taken place in the span of this song
we've worked really hard, not much left in dismay
and this is the close of heartbreak highway
Speen Cough Jul 2015
I mean think about it!
We're all alive
We're breathing
And it's great!

Yeah, bad things happen
but without them
We wouldn't know pure joy

I'm getting off my lowest low
and I'm headed straight for my highest high
and Good Golly it's great!

Isn't life just grand?
Like wow!
This is incredible!
Thanks for helping me get back here
Speen Cough Jul 2015
I'm sitting here and I'm about to cry
Why?
Who the heck knows.

I'm sad today
for no particular reason
I'm just sad

I don't like being sad
I get that we have to be sometimes
but that doesn't mean I like it.

Am  I depressed?
I don't think I am.
I hope I'm not.

But it wouldn't surprise me.

All this stuff that's been happening lately
What's one more thing to mess up my brain?
I'll just add it to the list and keep moving I guess

I'm just gonna fake a smile until it's real again.

That's normal right?
Speen Cough Jul 2015
I lay in bed
listening to rain
I try to breathe
but the air isn't there.

I lay in bed
and I ponder on the rain
what it means
and how it feels

I remember God then.
The people He sent me
who taught me the beauty of rain and helped me see the renewal

I lay in bed
listening to the rain
begining to breathe again
giving thanks for sending away this pain
Thank you for showing me the beauty of rain. I hated it before I met you
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