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Spades Apr 2018
No one
Experiences this kind of loneliness.
Because even those who have
No one but themselves.
Have more than me.
More of a Quote rather than a poem, but it hit me hard so I decided to post it
Spades Apr 2018
Not everyone is meant to
Live
But everyone is meant to
Die
Maybe you can tell me what you think it means
Spades Apr 2018
You won't hear another good morning
You won’t hear another good night
But before I put myself to sleep
The last thing the world would hear
Is Goodbye
Spades Apr 2018
Dry eyed
In bed
Cramped head
Misled
Regret
He dread
Life ahead
But instead
Wrists bled
Sleeves red
Now he's dead
Not much thought was put into this, it was more of a sort of "emotional takeover" type of writing... If that's a thing.
Spades Apr 2018
I don’t understand why it’s so hard for me to let go of something I never had
The number of poems I write, the number of crying nights, the number of battles I fight you would think that I remember a sight

of her

Though her life went dark when I first saw the light
Her life was taken away against my right
I’m sure a life as lonely as mine was never in her mind
And no matter how hard I tried to be happy the fire inside me always died
Maybe my life would be different if the sun of my world shined

I refuse to be part of this cruel game of life any longer
Maybe my fate would be different if I was a little stronger
But the pain that I’ve been forced to live through  is something I refuse to longer suffer
Postponing the inevitable has never been wronger
Because there is nothing worse
than to never see your very own mother
I always find myself writing about her again and again. I really don't understand why I do.
Spades Mar 2018
It’s crazy how something as small as a leaf could represent my life so accurately
They grow up with the warmth of their mother and friends
Hundreds of leaves just dancing in the wind with each other, happy
But once you grow older you experience the weather, the rain, the heat, and the cold
You become weak, you are no longer able to hold on to what you hold dearest to yourself; your life
You struggle to hang onto the branch, and the pain from gripping so desperately is too much too handle
So you let go, you let go of your life and put it in the past, and you hit rock bottom
Alone, cold, and slowly rotting away you become depressed
And no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you try to get back up, to piece together your life once again
The wind will slow down and you find yourself struggling to get off the ground once again
You become weaker and weaker, you start to rip apart, rot away, but you don’t give up this hopeless battle for your life back
But once again, you fall face first into depression
Cold, broken, and alone, you finally pick your spot on the ground to begin to decompose with all hopes of being happy lost
You go numb, you lose the feeling of feelings, lost in nothingness
Crying your eyes dry until you finally close your eyes and give up.
Spades Mar 2018
It’s crazy I could reach such a level of depression
Sometimes my life gets so dark I wish just to go to Heaven
I don’t know why everything has to be a lesson
I hate that my life has become a therapy session
I know I never met you mom
But I’m sure if you were here you would turn your head away
To this waste of ******* life that doesn’t want to live another day
To this worthless beating heart that constantly lives his life in grey

I wish you were here for me mom
I wish you were here for my first day of school
I wish you were here for my first date
I wish you were here for my graduation
I wish you were here to convince me that I wasn’t wasted
I’m sure you wanted the best for me
But when I go to sleep tonight It will be different
I won’t dread having to live another day
Because when I wake up
You’ll be the first person I see
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