My heart went fluttering with fear
Lest you should go, and leave me here
To beat my breast and rock my head
And stretch me sleepless on my bed.
Ah, clear they see and true they say
That one shall weep, and one shall stray
For such is Love's unvarying law....
I never thought, I never saw
That I should be the first to go;
How pleasant that it happened so!

She's naked because she loves you..
                           but
You love her because she's naked..

Soon the Dogwoods will bloom, and
bring one last gasp;
A eulogy for winter-
a final little bit of cold remembrance
for our unwashed faces.

Summer is for a different song. Brand new wrongs,
slick fingers and
a sunnier side of sin. The good kind.
Twixt those sweaty inner thighs
hides a secret worth savoring; a secret worth harboring.
Salvation is warm and...
I digress.

In the interim lies spring,
when we debate the merits of
crucifixion and/or fertility.
Around here, crucifixion wins since
we love a good ******
more than a good ****.
Who am I to argue?

So we wait for
something different.
Breath bated -
anxiously anticipating change
with a hitch in our collective chest.

That change will come but
not before the blackberries have had their say.

I heard you cry
I heard you call my name
I heard your sigh
Echo its sad refrain

I felt your tears
As they dropped down on me
I felt your fears
Of what, had come to be

I heard you cry
I felt you kiss my lips
I don’t know why
Love has to hurt like this

I felt your pain
As you held on to me
It’s hard I know
To let me go
You loved me so
Now you must, set me free

I heard you weep
As you put down my hand
Our lives we keep
Like footprints in the sand

Imprints of love
We share along our way
Then disappear
As tides wash them away

I heard you cry
I felt you kiss my lips
I don’t know why
Life has to end like this

Just loneliness
Longing for what had been
Those days are gone
You must go on
Think of us when
We are together again

My darling please don’t cry
Someday we all must die
I go to take my place
Wait there for your embrace
So wipe those tears away
We’ll meet again someday
And start our life anew
There I will wait for you
BOEMS BY JA 419

ONCE UPON A CRICKET
Once, a cricket
Hopped along
Stopped beside me
To chirp his song

He chirped and chirped
While I sat and read
So I stomped on him
And killed him, dead

DISCLAIMER
Now, I’m not always
A mean old ****
But that freaking cricket
Drove me, berserk
BOEMS BY JA 31

1 second:
my mind drags my languid body across the tundra of insanity
my eyes focused on a space
a blurry shape focused
something in between reality and the real world
2 seconds:
roles of films show screenplays flickering across my mind, lighting up possibilities of what could go wrong
One goes by, and the film starts again running over and over
as the films play, I slowly drown in a sea of attacks
1,000 feet, my world spins
2,000 feet, my world fades
3,000 feet, my world becomes red, blocking the rest of the colors of the world
preventing the peace of the world into sight
4,000 feet, my soul mending into an entity with no right of way
it drifts upwards as I drift away
3 seconds:
my mind becomes the phantom
black, hollow, clustered, dreadful, worrisome
following my hollow body, swarming with words
creeping up behind me, people pass in blurs
their energy sweeps me up, fills me, empties me, making me feel even more alone
4 seconds:
do I cry, show the world the Prince of Darkness that clings onto my body
pulling strands of my hair, slowing my world to where I stare at myself and see a mess
see the tearing across skin, my face, only my red eyes can see, when they see my reflection
it’s a happy girl, who is never too sad, but the red can see through the mask that is always glued on
or should I **** it up and keep the beast swimming through my brain
prying my mouth open, keep it inside and let it eat me alive
5 seconds:
my heart, feeling four times as heavier as it did 6 seconds before
telling me *you’re okay, it will pass, the storms almost over, the friend always there to help the in pain
even when the expression shows different
the brain, feeling four times heavier as it did 6 seconds before
telling me you’re not okay, nobody cares, see they just passed you, why would someone care?
The common enemy, the one who's always there to tear you down even when the sun shines bright
6 seconds:
to keep the phantom from attacking, breathe steadily, never miss a beat
which would you chose to believe?
The phantom, the common enemy, the one who controls your thoughts
or the friend, there to keep you running through it all?
The choice seems easy, but sometimes
the choice isn’t yours to make

Maturity breeds contempt
and its aging raises fire
that seethes at the vices and sins
that encompass the world entire

Knowledge does undo the oyster
and shows the pearls of each other's wrongs
morality demands a fervent reaction
and now the globe is in chaos' throngs

And in what results we follow our soul
we find our brethen stuck in a divide
and the only solution within our minds
is the rise of the innocent, those without a side

so now our government becomes birthed with children
those without knowledge, those without power
and eons start, with dull, lazy, inactivity
giving way to the evolution of a warm, gilded, shower

But even the innocent do desire some fun
and the innocent know nothing if wrong nor right
and so down jump the children from their high golden throne
to start a game, some mischief, a trite little fight

And now what has risen is only pure hell
decreed by our lords who we loved and did dote
and while now the rise of the innocent now has true meaning
the chaos returns, and up comes the smoke

Drips and drops of lab-tested fluids
pouring lipids in curves all over the place
while pops and pangs of tiny cells
bubble and fizzle in petri disks and flasks
regurgitating out strands of fine DNA
mix and synthesis of unusual entities
bubbling cauldrons of chemical ritual
give rise to spells of mystic creation
boldly configuring new organic oddities
from lab nonsense to ancient theory
mitochondrial splits and caverns
entries into the unknown of man's babble
for the fine and final production of science's silk
that which is life
and undeniable to our being
so creation can forever stand tall and strong
in the triumphant art of recreation

...dark and nameless shadows
that you can never touch...

If I told you my name
how would you know that you can trust me?
Some ancient cave might hold the answer
An infallible possibility
though maybe not a probability
***** glasses can see half-truths
but can they see the smudges?
And so, can I be trusted?
Say yes-I dare you to
But explain in essay format
with strategic logic, rhyme and reason
Possibility? Probability?
There are some real questions
that no one can answer...