because of infatuation
I left a scar
on the one who actually cared
and to be honest
sometimes I feel like I am the scar
because really I know your hurt
but maybe you will heal
but my heart will never
after what I did there will always be a line
cutting and constricting
and it will never go away
I am the scar
marring your arms and face...
I am the scar

Hazy thoughts embrace my brain
leaving me raddled and drained
all thoughts and power leaked down a drain
I can't think and I like it that way
all these thoughts of death go away
I don't care about life anymore
I just like the crystal water at the shore
the palms swinging in wind
and branches pulling and tugging
I think I'll go to the water and be in peace
maybe ecstasy was in my mind
shuddering of thoughts that I left behind
water is calm and kind
take me and leave this world behind

the smog rolled on the sea
white wash on the beach
salty air in my lungs
heart strings pulled on
and I'm singing your song
in the sea I sing
so hopefully the ocean will be discovered
and my love uncovered

we fight and argue
and we might be angry
but if I say I love you
I hope you say it back
what is love without love in hate
what is hate with a release
what is love without the pain
I love you but you won't say it back
you were the water rushing past
without a dam in sight

a lowlife rascal
with nothing but swords
living off ***** words
hearing women whisper in my ears
feeling clothes fall off
and lust be strong
feeling adrenaline in my veins
and yet I will never be fulfilled
the person was gone years ago
and I still feel tears
they are gone a hole is in place
for all this hurt to fall into place
so let it be and let me fall
I will fall into deaths jaws

in the dirt they roam
through dust and storms
they always grow
the dead will always roam
through the slopes
the devils will live
and my soul will be a house
let it all out and let them in
they only win if you let fear in

for a fighting start
a bullet tearing me apart
and in my last breath I see a face
surrounded in wings and white shining light
A fighting chance is what waits
a fighting chance is what I'll have
I'm waiting and looking at the clock waiting
for a fighting start

through Angels wings
all the bright dangerous things
they cloud my mind and leave me helpless
so come and takes this grief away
take it and put it away
put it in the attic
and attack it with love
maybe the darkness was all it had
and maybe my soul was in there too
hopefully it will grow back
and I'll be one again
but till then...
I think I'll try to breath again
to taste the air
and see the sky
and maybe just maybe the darkness will die

running through wisps
going in tumble winds
falling on the rocks
scrapes on pale skin
red rock scarring a beginning
a cracked soul always forgiving
red rivers running through veins
pumping soul with fractured hands
not able to grab a lie in it's grasp
and it seeps through the cracks
never fearing the wind will run away
only keeping the demons at bay
a mind is not worth loving
if the mind can't stop running
in the wind we run
but soon we will stop
and take our final breath

even through the wings of life and evil grows
even in life it will bide and it's power will grow
so grab my hand and squeeze it tight
don't let it go hold it with all your might
it won't be coming back anytime soon
Ill hold you and sing in lights tune
darkness is a shadow to light
with this power of lights might
let's stand and embrace and win the fight

if my words are a paradox let me be true
if I was a paradox I would repeat for you
if I was a paradox I wouldn't stop
if I was a paradox the world would stop
I was in love I would repeat
if I love I will say it again
if you were my heart I would repeat again
if my words are a paradox let me be true

for the first time in years
that cigarette was laid down
for the first time in years
I put the **** down
for the first time in years
I'm feeling like my old self
for the first time in years
I'm feeling happy

I was gone in a day
I was gone in a way
I was gone in my mind
I was gone in my life
she was gone in a second
my heart was gone in a second
I was gone in a day
the pain will never go away

Love can change
I thought I understood it
I was naive
how could I understand
the pure bliss
being in your embrace brings
how could I understand
my suicidal episodes
stopped with a touch
I thought I knew love
how wrong I was about my emotions
but at least now
I understand a little better

Swirling spirals as far as I can see
Domain and presence
Resonance coming
From deep within the ground
Shaking my body with no control
Breaking my bones out they go
To the healing powers of a bond I grow
In the heart of earth I grow
I spread the roses there thorns dangerous yet calm
The tulips growing without harm
The trees reach to the sky
I am everywhere
I will be till I die

sailors falling to the salty mist of sea
hearing song for you and me
and suffocating in sweet bliss
a Siren song I'll never miss

Blowing in my hair
feeling heat left in my skin
feeling sweat beads fall
air in my face
a cooling breeze coming by
I heart with cool warmth
it is in the wind
and waiting for you
to embrace your meaning
and breath in air
take the air of life
and let in blow through your soul
the wind

haze through shattered glass
fogged up windows
smoke screen air
black hole
light no where
not a single drop of light to be seen
no way to get through the haze
no way to
see through

tears will drop
the ground will shake
pallets of red and gold
touch my soul
lower my body to the ground
so my soul can be the flora and fauna
and my body is one with the soul

I never thought safety was a feeling
all these stories of people feeling safe
is something I've never felt
I've been homeless and left to rot
I thought this was a hidden emotion
that I was incapable of feeling
until your arms opened
and that laugh made me smile
and when we kissed
I felt my eyes smile for the first time
safety is something I have found
something only you could help me find

I've always cared for you
but you couldn't see my concern

I'll miss your smile that lit up the night
I'll miss your eyes they shine crystal Blue
I'll love you when your gone
I still love you now
even if our time is running out

breathing sunshine words
breathing life from my breath
singing the sun through my heart
and living from their breath

they don't leave me alone
they don't stop hurting
they are leaving me broken
without a hope in sight
I see broken shards
and icy points
and all the dreams that come
and all I can is lay here
paralysed
and feel their touch

blood smeared of my lines
guts spilled on the outside
I feel blood running
through uncharted blue veins
over pale skin
I'm loosing myself
in this pain I am a monster
in their eyes I'm the monster
to myself I'm a monster
but to few I'm worth it
to me I outweigh
their pleas
through this I'm crying
through this I'm going to...
let the blood flow

beating in rhythm sweet harmony
in line of words that are all for you
I give my all angel all of me just for you
maybe I'm not the best and I know I'm a mess
but maybe all I need is you to reset
to break down my walls and let you in
to heal the cracks in my heart
to seal the hole that aches
to bring me happiness
and maybe your the one
maybe my soul is healing
maybe your eyes are all I need
to keep my world centred
maybe your heart is a melody I've been singing
maybe all I needed was you

through bright rays
comes light and yellow
and I see a colour beyond
it is filled with a bond
of pure regularity
and I see her standing in a glory
untamed natures and I am to witness
a growing of soul

speaking without thought
losing my mind like I was taught
I was the teacher and I blocked it out
I was the student I lived in doubt
I rambled over and over with no prevail
evil will never fall with rambled thoughts
they own us all

I am failing my code
and my family too
I turning off with no feeling
but I have feelings for you
all these poem I write
are meant to be with joy
but turn to darkness
in hidden hues
I just want to live and repair
to not see the glitch in me
to not be the broken branch
I don't want to break
I never wanted to be the malfunction

I take a breath and taste the air
I take a look I see your hair
I look down and see you bare
I think and I inhale a breath
time has slowed and my breath is shallow
I take a shaky breath and plunge
to a deal of love from within

steeped on through my life
through bare feet and written lies
I see a world beyond the divide
where I can't be cleansed of dirt
and emerge with shoes on my feet

fly me to the sky
let me soar
let my body fall
let me run through the clouds
jumping the memories
touching angels through the fog
I want wings
so I can fly all day long

through death grows a bond of throes
and although no one can see me
I know nature is my guardian
maybe I was looking for safety
and maybe that was the groves

lust is a broken loop in my heart I see her body and she takes that as all I see and maybe I concentrate and I notice it yes any person would and sometimes I imagine many things but that will never compare to you to my Angel in the sky that I cradle in soul and reap the darkness from them I will hold there burdens above mine and all I think about my life is how disgustingly ****** I am so I confide yes it's not healthy but it helps me keep my hands off her but sometimes I wish I could let loose but I can't so I tie a noose on my hands and string my self by it maybe my hands will bleed for what I've done I'll take the torture for everything I've done

in my heart I feel dread
maybe the darkness is not dead
but my soul is with him
in each step he takes
I feel it hum
but with a grip he holds it tight
maybe he did win the fight
maybe I lost the light
my love is gone
she was a rose and now there's only a thorn
a lone spike in the wind
maybe I will rebuild
the walls that came down
and maybe my Angel can wear a crown
a thorn for there hurt
maybe I'll lift them up and give them the sky
and maybe she will then learn to fly
through the lasting wisps
a angel will fly
as divine as I can see  
there heart a dark blue sea
full of love for me to keep
a think I hear a heart on repeat
what a rose so kind
that not even the devil can leave her behind

through wired chunks and smouldered trucks comes loads and loads of steam a in wired breed and self imprinted greed gas comes rising and it falls with grace but all these businesses are laced with fake faith a faith of change a faith of life but with a second it could end and who will be laughing then not me that's for sure because will be the one in heaven hurting from loss because I was one of the only people who knew what we could lose so let down the shields and come and bring me up and bring me from the grave maybe all I need was somebody to save me from the steam and gas maybe that was all I need a little faith inside this world of disgrace

it has cracks
and maybe you know
but do you see the scars
left by the cuts on my arms
do you see the marks on my heart
do you see the imminent failure
don't you see me
you say you don't care
but I feel your eyes
maybe I feel a tingling in my chest
but that's not love
that broke years ago
maybe I am healing
so maybe I'll stay
maybe for once I won't push away