Waking up in a cloud,
Thick and suffocating.
Nothing is clear,
except the Negative.
Scalding words inside your head,
While the fog
Blocks out the Light.
It invades your senses, reminding you of just how
Pointless
Fighting is.
The fog only clears when you surrender.

On the street, I have to pretend.
School, work.
Home, church.
I pretend.
To be cis.
To be straight.
To be everything everyone wants me to be.
But when I get by myself,
And shut my bedroom door,
I can breathe again.
I take off society’s rules,
I shake off gender roles.
I close the door on heteronormativity,
And I toss “She” in the trash.
I am me again. “Thank God.”

I am not an “It.”
I am a person,
Just not the kind that fits your views.
Do not attempt to dehumanize me
Without consequence.
Not on the sidewalk,
Not in church,
Not at home, Nor school.
I am,
“They.”
“Them.”
“Their.”
But never
“It.”

“There are only two genders.” My dad.
“But in other cultures-” Me.
“They don’t apply here.” My mom.
“Why not?” Me.
“Because I don’t like it.” My classmate.
“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It doesn’t mean I don’t exist.” Me.
“It’s against God.” My church.
“I think God loves no matter what.” Me.
“You’ll go to hell.” My priest.
“You’re so hateful I’ll see you there.” Me.
“You just want attention.” My depression.
“Please...I just want to be myself.” Me.
“You can. Just so long as you fit what we say.” Them.

Peter Pan
I remember your red hair
Your playful smirk.
You told me dreams came true,
You told me to believe in you.
You were my lost boy,
I was your Darling.
Days passed in Neverland,
Hark! Reality's calling.
Come back with me, Peter.
It's time to grow up.
As long as you're with me,
I know I can't give up.