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you don't exist when
my eyes are open
you don't exist when
my blood's not poisoned
when my soul's at peace
when my gut is full
and when I'm in company

So you exist most of the time
dear muse
Antara Majumder Aug 2019
I miss our kisses in the park, in the dark,
Where we used to take cover and hover.
We stole moments, your hands over my body, caressing the soft parts.
Whispering love.
You touched my inner rhapsody,
And it turned into a melody so profound,
I became a Clarinet.

We talked about things only movie characters would know.
I brought my own script to your stage, and we had our heuristic drama.
There we were, embraced in the discords of the world, laughing at the jokes no one told,
Like the despicable way things generally are...
Like the woman who swallowed all her golds,
Or the man who killed for love. Love enabled people to **** these days and it made us think, how?
We always had known otherwise:
Love made us more human.
Now we ended that sentence with a question!

We kept kissing in the dark anyway,
Tasting your tongue,
Smelling the cheap smoke you could afford, dreaming about things we could not...
Forgetting about the people who died, while keeping things in order.
I wrote vague poems for you, that you read and ceased to remember.
Like old towns that had homes with letter boxes.
I opened one of those, on that yellow house with ancient moss gathered on its establishment...
It was empty,
So you promised to write a letter to me, promised to address it to that letter box, so I could find it one day.

I went there yesterday,
But the house wasn't there somehow.
It lost all the promises.
Yours too.

It lost me.
About you, I couldn't tell anymore.
This is about romance, its aching joy, sweet pains in its absence. The poem's about the sustenance that love finds from within the soul: old ties, memories, harmony among the cacophony the world throws at the lovers...
Antara Majumder Aug 2019
These nights have a beautiful tune about them,
Soft, chaotic, random... sometimes even with an abandoned note.
Disturbed...
Off keys are important, someone tells me now;
They break away from the pattern,
Which is a good thing, apparently.
Like the dead flower on my otherwise organised headboard,
Empty, disintegrated;
Or the worm lizard on my white plastered walls,
Cold blooded, throbbing and to be honest, quite ******.
Like the bristles I have under my feet,
That don't really show, but hurt as I walk...
I cherish them all secretly.
They kind of make me feel better, elemental.
In touch with reality...
What's wrong in a little more death and decay than is 'usual'!
I know you must be disgusted when the fecund dog litters in your garage.
And you wince at the sight of naked, destitute street children,
As they knock at your rolled up cold window.
They break your pattern of the usual goodness...
You know, the taste of your Turkish coffee,
The love song in your Burkin purse!
They seem like a madness,
And you want to take a shower.
Fist clenched, listening to the water  wash the floor,
Its symphony making you quieter.

And sleep comes finally to me;
As I wonder who I will be tomorrow
Sometimes I just cannot sleep and all the images that are supposed to come in my dreams, in all their incongruity or realness, visit me in the dead of night. How can I stay ignorant, without ranting about them?

— The End —