I never thought it'd come to this... a point where we no longer exist. My feelings are gone, my pain is gone, my care is gone. I have nothing left in me for you to co-exist. I never even thought another man could take your place, to only show me better & put nothing but a smile on my face. I was lost. I didn't know anything else but you, that was the case.. but I learned we were mild and I thought we were hot. Let's call this new guy O... see, he makes it hot but not just sexually... he embraces me mentally & emotionally. You only gave me physically. I accept that now your just a ghost to me. I use to be hurt but I thank God, this is what it's suppose to be. I'm so happy you gave O a chance to get close  to me.

When I was hurting, you were there. You didn't even know you were mending a broken heart. Your touch, your time, your attention... the way you showed me you cared. I was difficult at first but you taught me I no longer had to have fear. I could no longer fight it. A year ago, I never thought you'd be someone special to me today, at first I couldn't see... but you gave me sight. I can trust again, I might even can love again... but only with you.

Do not go looking for it and you shall find it. Don't be afraid to fall for yourself, don't be afraid to trip on anything you thought was tied. Look into the eyes of those around you as what your searching for is already there. The ones our heart may beat for might have started as something you overlooked. You didn't expect it, but now it's expected.

I listened to role models by J. Cole for the hundredth time and I finally heard it. It was a message to our women, No Role Models To Speak Of. He spoke of women who knew he had a girl but encouraged him to act like a dog they cry about. He spoke of "I don't want no ***** from reality shows", he spoke of meaningless *** women has allowed of him and "Kick em to the door, that just how it goes". He made a song and that's all most women of today will hear from No Role Models by J. Cole, another tune. It's not another tune, it's a message. I know because I was one of those women who never heard the message in 2014, today I here it loud in clear some years later. He looks back at his past and No Role Models To Speak Of. It all starts with women and I'm sure he wish women demanded more of what they deserve. Men like complexity, a challenge and as men they deserve that too. He claimed the women didn't even show him worthy of wearing his shirt home. "Lame ****** Cant Tell A Difference, One Time For A ***** Who Knows". He wants an Ant Viv love, he said he was too young for Lisa Bonet, Nia Long... all he's left with is ******* from reality shows who can't even read a script. Can't get mad at him that his only regret is not being able to take Aaliyah home.

Once you change, you grow. Once you grow, you live. Once you change and grow for the better... you begin to live to love yourself. It wasn't easy if the change is genuine and consistent. If you haven't gotten there yet, think of yourself like a cacoon, who grows into a caterpillar then grows into a colorful butterfly. You have to be dull in order to learn to be interesting. You have to be in the crowd for too long to step outside and fly alone... this is where leaders are born or "self made". Don't stay in the crowd too long.

She said "I miss the old Samira, the funny Samira". I thought about who I use to be, smirked & laughed on the inside. I whispered to myself "She didn't even really know who "the old" Samira was & this "funny Samira" had a hard time laughing when she was alone. Today, Samira is her own best friend & she finds peace in stating "I don't need peoples approval who never even knew who I really was". If you see change in someone, maybe they stopped caring about what you thought and decided to live for them only for the time being. Hopefully that time Being is for the rest of their life.

They walked through the door of my life thinking they could play me like a new toy. "She's pretty, probably a heartless fool like the rest". Not knowing I am a woman of substance. They complain of how women are unloyal but when good women are in their presence they can not see her. They are blind. I have a heart and no matter how much I am played or hurt my heart will forever love in another round. They were not just blind, they were also judgmental, selfish and ignorant. They claimed they wanted a good woman but in reality they showed me they were not ready. They treated me like trash. They treated me like I was the woman who broke them so I left them. I gave them the truth that their hearts didn't work, were not capable of allowing the love I offered with their commitment issues. I left them where they were in life, never to talk to them again. As a good woman... I know I am a queen. I know how to love a good man and treat him as a king. For now and forever, by knowing my worth & with my experience only a good man can step foot through the doors of my kingdom and enter into my palace.