I was banging on the big wooden front door
with both fists
there were little square windows
each framed with four mitered corners.
I could see into the church
people singing and raising their hands
but I couldn't get in.

I have many dreams at night
almost all of them forgotten
but in this near-waking state
I knew this one meant something
I needed to pay attention.

Pay attention
what a phrase!

Moving my hands and arms
across the canvas
with the brush in two shades of red
lavishing the northeast corner toward southeast
next to blacks and blues.
Yellows now circling like covered wagons
into the blossom of a daisy.
These strokes took care
in praise of pigments
throwing a few coins for toll
just costly enough to
keep me moving west
the sun not yet setting.

There are always doors
or blinds I cannot open
nearly as easily as I would like
too heavy or out of reach.
Patience also costly.
Like attention.

Gives me company,
When I have nowhere to go,
Or no-one to talk to.
25/2/2023

While my whole being longs to be,
don’t know if in your memory
I am.
Thought that our love would last forever seems it was not ever.
Blinded eyes, silenct cry
aching heart, broken spirit
With empty arms I’ll be
In  the dark I’ll stay
When I die who will carry me.





Shell ✨🐚

No such oblivion
Be
Without me
Without all of us
Nautilus
Deep in the sea
Elegy
Bury me
Cast my ashes
To winds
And without me
About me
The story begins

I still pine
       for what I’ve lost
               the promise and
                               fulfillment.

I still search my memory
                for hidden fragments
                                 of that treasure.

     Time has covered
                some of them in
                            shadows of nostalgia.

     But the flaming pain
                        still brightly burns and
                                      tears will not extinguish it.
                        ljm