Bon voyage
I’ll no longer hesitate
To dismiss
The dystopian urges
Daggers
I can feel the
Pinching of the needles
Over medicating
Stimulating sensations
Embracing me in there hold
Slightly focused
Eyes on the prize
Call off the wolfs
Time is not in unlimited abundance
Each second
Is all so precious
Fulfilling gravity
As the smog dissipates
Today the here and now
What else is there
Tail in hand
Tomorrow will
Never change repeat itself
Stay on the same course
If you don’t allow it too
Like a sponge
The insanity
Eventually has to
Be wrung out
Rearranging the chess pieces
On the board
As hard
As it maybe checkmate
I’m finally
Content to a certain degree
Comfortable in my own way
Fine with my current state of matters
The glass slipper
Finally fits snug
My time capsule
At the edge of the ocean
Bottled up nice and tightly
Won’t be coming back
Setting sail for its maiden voyage
No better time then the present

Hope migrates to
sunny island shores.
There is no sorrow,
roses always bloom,
and the birds of paradise
fly forever free.
The salty ocean
cleanses the rot
from the skin
and the heart.

Held up by a crutch
Counting down thee days
Of my demise
My third eyes dwelling  
Over four decades
Of thoughts and memories
That never fade
Piled up
As they continue to evolve
And escalate to unhealthy levels
What’s real is make believe
A better alternative
Rubik’s cubes
Slowly plucking
Away at my sanity
I lay awake
All times of night
Never knowing which
Way I’ll go as the roller coaster
Takes over
The chemicals
In my body
Feel more like poison
Far from comforting
They paralyze me in my tracks  
Where is the real healing at
My mind
Often miss fires
Short circuits
I feel so depressed and blue
Ready to rip my hair out
The happy thoughts
And pleasures last a moment
If I’m lucky
Are quickly replaced
As the bullets fly like no tomorrow
Emotions that run me ramped
Leave me in shambles
Nine times outta ten
Tainted goods I become
A happy go lucky state exterminated
Dopamine trip no where in sight

Baby steps
Became leaps and bounds
Waking on ambers
As my truth serum
Takes hold
I’ve stared
My own demise
Deeply
Dead in it’s eyes
Of nothing
Numbs me like it use too
The enemies all around
One bullet
In the chamber
I caved at first sight
A pain that knows
No limits would become
A cancer of a lifetime
Cut me from
Limb to limb
A wound without
Relief in sight
Provoked
By evil spirits
Or just plain bad luck
Fell in my lap
I knew from
A very young age
That something was definitely off
Yet I was defenseless
Just a boy
What could I do
Manipulated by the worst
The debt that
Is owed to me
Could never be repaid    
Not in a thousand lifetimes
The surpassing moments
That fell of a cliff
The damage had already been done
And could not be resubmitted
For approval
My halcyon fallen imbecile dream
Quickly evaporated
Lacerated by more wrong doings
Then one should have to endure
Then I’d ever care to admit to anyone

Empty bottles
Tell there own sorrows
Borrowed time
Wasted days
When it all falls down
Comes apart at thee seams
Fault lines shifting
Harboring silence alone
Looking through
Thee glass
Nothings clear anymore
Kaleidoscope
Storms fill my eyes
Ground zero blisters
When the sun forgets
To rise and thee clouds rain down
On me
The botched minutes
Fall by thee wayside
Seconds feel like days
Ducking and dodging
Every moment
I’m awake
Clenching my fists too no end
Waiting on thee fire
Too set my life aflame
Signs all around me
Holding on to a prayer and a whim
Waiting on the end to come
Battlefields scattered
Endless miles they stretch
A peacefulness
Guess I’ll never know
I miss numbing thee pain
Falling down thee rabbit hole
Forgetting if only for a moment
Sobriety only hurts
More then thee day before
Old feelings resurface
Tear me too shreds
A fight you’ll never know
Unless you’ve gone face
Too face with thee devil inside
Like I have
A frame of mind never
Understood far from kind

Condemnation
Tinted self
My backlit canopy
Couldn’t shield me enough
Optical of the
Universe
Ink my levitation pass
Cryptic skies
No longer a
Bleak atmosphere
Deeper
In thought then ever
The scriptures I hold dear
Closest to my chest
Words of hope
Lift me up
I offer myself up to you
If it will help
The way I’ve been feeling
Evaporate permanently
Circling the wagon
When will my
Sacred heart show itself
Bleed no more
Purity is what I seek
Path to the
Alter is full of obstacles
Patiently
Awaiting my transformation
I’ve taken an oath
To remain faithful
Only visible in the eyes of the beholder
Felt in the deepest spaces
Tarnished walk of life
The whole world in the palm
Of your hand
Yet you’ve profited nothing
You’ve found
You lost your soul
And betrayed yourself
All in the same breath
For what exactly
No amount of riches here
Can compete with what’s
To be revealed
A magic carpet ride
Bathing in the vastness  
No amount
Of riches here
Will bring a steadiness
And truer
Peace of comfort to your soul
Like that of gadol

They say healing is lonely
But they never tell you
That the silence
will suffocate you.
Pressing down on
every square inch
Of your body.
Forcing you to feel
the weight of letting go
of who you were
For who you need to be.

Harvard’s a black hole, info wise.
So, let’s see.. what’s going on? What’s in the news?
Anything? Anything?

Hot take..
Not to be spicy and negative,
but sometimes i’m too much myself.
Too comfortable, open and vocal.
I can be opinionated.
Who knows who’s listening?
It could be anyone.
“That’s not red, it’s carmine,” I blirt.
There’s a rise and rush of feelings around the table.
FAQs drop, I get treated.
“God, get up and get at me,” I replied, with an unnerving poise.
People love a scene.

Happy 4th of July to Yankees everywhere!
.
.
Only a Fool Would Say That by Ivy
Lovely Day by Elizabeth Mitchell
L'Anamour by Ivy
.
slang:
FAQ = told the facts
Treated = attacked

Don't read me if you knew me once
My silence,my laugher ,my folded hands
You'll think these lines are diaries
And search for your shadow in every stanza

This is not for you
Not for the ones who watched me grow
Called me nicknames
Or claim to know how I hurt

I write for the uknown eyes
The ones who don't flinch
At the sight of my rawness
Strangers who won't say
"I know who is about."

My poems are not secrets spilled
Ther are truths I dressed in rhythm
Not confessions for your curiousity

So close the book
If you ever thought you had me figured out
These verses are for the world
Not for you
Who never listened
When I spoke without rhyme.