I wish I could see you one last time
Not even touch you or talk to you
Just to see you from afar would be enough
Just to see your smile, to hear your laugh
Even if it was because of someone else

Sometimes I wonder how I got this way.
Why did I lose all of my morals?
What made me stop feeling?
Why did I stop caring about myself?
I don't know.
I don't know anything anymore.

I used to think "wow how could anyone be anorexic"
Now I see why
It's such an accomplishment
"I didn't eat for a whole day, I'm proud of myself"
It makes you feel better about yourself
Worthy of being
The highs are so high
But the lows are so low
"I can't believe you ate that macaroni, you're such a fat *****"
When you do eat something
You look in the mirror
Every piece of fat jumps out at you
Screaming at you
Telling you that you're worthless
You feel so awful you cut
You feel like killing yourself
But it's worth it