Memories from my past blending together.
Events in my life, that I try to remember.

Uncertainty in the way I think.
Moments vanish, gone in a blink.

The clouded thoughts fill my head.
Dark as blood from when I bled.

Evading conflict, my one addiction
Unable to separate, truth from fiction

Childhood echoes, in my mind I recall.
A last grasp of youth, before the last fall.

Thinking of how, it could have been.
Knowing first chances, can't be relived again

On the floor
An empty bottle next to me.
A hand full of pills
that will finally set me free.

A fake smile and laugh,
to cover all the lies.
I wipe away my tears.
No! I won't cry.

Waiting for an answer.  
To the question that I fear
My thoughts asking to be heard,  
but no one around to hear

I'm tired, in pain, I've given up.
Will this decision set me free?
Or will my soul be lost,  
Forever in purgatory

The pills still await
for the choice that I'll decide
It is my choice,
its simple live or die

My selfishness and pity
Causing my heart to go blind
Sweet memories of my life and those I love.
Coming back strongly to my mind

Those few that I love
and the fewer that love me
I will not cause them this pain
or this to be their last memory of me

The pills tossed away,
Along with the darkness that's inside.
I will remember today,
As the day, I chose not to die.

What you get, isn't always what you see.
I've worn many masks, to hide the real me.

Too scared to show, who I really am
A fragile child in the body of a man.

My day full of pain, my thoughts all wasted
Bitter and sour, life's fruit I've tasted

But for you, just know, I tried to stay strong
Please remember our love, even after I'm gone