My life doesn't look busy.
If you're outside looking in you probably wonder what I'm doing.
I know it's strange I'm exhausted.
The sleepless nights filled with dreams and restlessness.
Some days it feels like I've given too much.
I know I seem quiet but it's only because it's so loud in my head.
I know my life doesn't look like much.
But it's so full sometimes I have to disappear for a while.
Don't take it personal.
I just lose myself to these deep waters at times.
I won't always tell you these things, the words will fail me.
I know this isn't for all, I have lost people before this way.
So if you stick around I hope you'll see I'm not as lonely as I appear to be.

I wrote a story of something in my mind
It grew rather long and felt like pulling a thorn from my side
I know not from where it came or why it calls me home
But I gave it life and claim it mine
All the loves and losses
And the characters who live and die
It's a beautiful and frightening thing
To see a world and a people exist in your mind.

When the feelings die
And the cracks turn into cliffs
I'll fall down and break apart
Into the smallest pieces

I'll let myself scatter with the wind
Till the pain fades
And I hear my pulse in my head
Then I'll piece myself together again

No piece will be the same and it might sit in a different place
Little lines will streak my body
Scars of all my grief

I'll become a beautiful mosaic
Each piece an art
Every line a memory
And when my days are done
I'll look and smile at what I have become.

What I know I've never seen
It comes from inside
This place I reside
Speaking of wrong and right
Where fairytales are written and myths live in might
A chaotic place of dark and light
Behold its beauty and beware its bite

It's old and it's new
Going round or changing the numbers that accrue
Chiming and clicking for every moment I ever knew
A stranger that marks each second and moon of blue
Never dying on its march of eternity without a clue
That it was never real but only perception's fool.

I float in this empty ocean staring up at the night sky.
Hearing the whispers of my mind. Knowing I’m not home for every star is foreign in this life.

I watch the moon travel by.
It speaks of tales and woes it’s seen in every bright night.
I ask why it travels this lonely path.
It does not answer but keeps watch of me as it passes by.

This dark sky.
With little pins of light.
Circles over.
Ever night.

I float in this quiet ocean.
Rocked by gentle waves.
Watching the sky.
Searching for some distant light.
Because it's always night.

Hearing the whispers of my mind as the sky drifts by.
“How do you cry?” one asks and it clouds the sky.
Blocking the stars and leaving me to float in this dark night.
Sometimes the waters roughen, and I clench my eyes.
Remembering the stars of a different sky.

Here I lie.
Gazing up with each eye.
Every care drifting below the currents of this place I reside.
Pondering the silence as I wander by. Knowing somewhere the dark sky knows my kind.
And waits for when I no longer deny that this sky is not mine.