(n) A phenomenon
whereby the day-to-day
necessities of life
call for action and thought,
not feeling,
and the emotion
catches up suddenly
when the actions stop.

Don't judge

Don't begrudge

Help them take the first step



For the first time ever I had to sign on.



So I got to the Citizens Advice Bureau early.

It's still closed,

And people are sat on the step outside.

There's a middle aged bloke with a walking stick.

There's a foreign guy with his kid.

There's a guy who looks rough as **** who I'd probably cross the street from on a night out.

All sat on the step.

We're a single mum away from the perfect stereotype,

But I'm in the mix.



I'm not judging!

I understand the issues these people go through.

The people on the step.

I put my time and energy into trying to help-

I hate people who judge,

But I'm not one of them.



A pretty girl walks past dressed in a business suit.

She's cute.

Is she judging me for being on the step?

Don't judge me!

I'm one of you!

I work!

I'm not one of them!

I'm not normally on the step!



I recoil into myself at these thoughts.

I glance around apologetically at these people as if they heard me.

I look at the faces,

They seem to blank me.

I feel like they know,

Like they're looking at me thinking -

"Yeah, you don't judge do you?"

"This is life on the step.

We don't want to be here either,

We don't want a do-gooder being a hero,

We want to do it for ourselves,

But here we are,

On the step,

And you're one of us."



"Welcome to the step!"

Near morning
by the sea
where I tangle
with the shadows
like a cage of sad tigers
by a grave I find a rope ladder
left by a thief
as the tide steals my eyes,
prisoners of time
without a hammer
trying to drive a stake
in the ground
and this is my crime
living and dreaming.

"It is a deepening,"
                         she said
and took his hand
to her watery bed,
beaming her light
upon those almost
invisible threads
in particles subtly
                 speaking
in sparkling aquatic tongues
like colored crystals,
felt in shards of icy wine
shells sifted
in far-flung
            seas of time
Shining down as
we dive to the depths
we lead each other on
We are the  
           explorers of the dark
We have
powerful equipment
to attempt to clarify
radiate it all up
              and if it fails,
the light from
our eyes and hands
is enough to illuminate
the murky
        waters below
our salvation,
deep-sea secrets
revealed—
churning in undertow
         In fact, if you dare
to penetrate the dark
and cast aside
fear of predators
               you will see-
the ruins of
an ancient temple
                waiting,
just waiting
for you
       for me
to dance amongst
the algae-coated
alabaster, green
wisps moving
in hypnotic motion
to weave in-between
the fish and corals,
a magic breathing in
of ocean
in sync with our own
                          breaths
This expanse of endlessness
        …..so many layers to discover
to sway and trip the light
in quiet,
            breathless joy
The feel of electric
flow around our feet.
Saltwater,
            turning sweet.
It is time
for the next stage
                     to begin
So tip your
head back,
my love---
and
       drink it
                     in

When I sit down
At the table
I get excited
To read your label

Peeling back
Your foil cover
A small square of joy
I discover

Strawberry or grape
Jelly or jam
I don't really
Give a ****

I use a few
On my toast
That's the way
I like it most

I think I'm hooked
Don't try and knock it
I put a couple
In my pocket

When no one is looking
Into my pocket I reach
Slowly I pull one out
Man I hope it's peach

Always thinking about it
That sticky substance I crave
Won't someone help me
I'm becoming it's slave

In the fall
It's homemade preserve
On a Ritz *******
I like to serve

I can't stop
No matter how I try
I'll be a slave to the jelly
Till the day I die