She struggles,
To find out who she is.

She starts to ask.
Why am I here?
Why do you love me?
Why do you want me?
Was I mistake?

If there was no drugs or alcohol,
Would my dad be in my life?
If I didn’t struggle would I be depressed?
If I were to die today,
Would people actually care?

If I tell you my story, would you listen?

She being held hostage by her stereotypes

Her dreams being restricted by someone else's expectations.
Her thoughts cropped out of social standers.
Her life living for someone with their dreams,
Running through her veins.
Her mind lost in good times,
When she was her self.

Now she's pretending to be someone,
To let someone know she's fine...

But she being optimistic
Struggles hard to let herself out of this agony.

She is shy.                                        
She is weak.                    But She is not herself. She is a different person. Called not herself. That person is a poison to her soul. It kills her. Doesn't make that her strong. It makes her weak. That soul within her. Is a demon in her. Its not her. Its the demon within her. That kills her soul. And makes her weak.

She said she was okay and you believed her?                                      Let me tell you what really wrong with her.     She's tired. 
Thats exactly what she is, tired.
She's tired of getting hurt
She's tired of being let down
She's tired of all the lies
She's tired of holding it all in
She tired of feeling broken, damaged,
worthless, never good enough, pain
She tired of all of her flaws and insecurities
She's tired of trying
She's tired of getting her hopes up
She's tired of being treated like crap

She's me
I am tired of everyone treated me as a piece of crap
I am tired of being stressed about everything
I AM TIRED....

You were my dad that I once knew,
But little do you know the pain you put me through.
I've grown up and realized
That your life is nothing but one thousand lies.
You say that you love me more than I know
But if that were true then why doesn't it show?                                    But don't forget I'm your blood,              
But obviously that doesn't mean anything to you,
I remember when I was the twinkle in my daddy's eyes.
You say mom's standing in the way
And all she wants is for you to pay.
Maybe that's true,
But what can I do?
I'm your daughter,
And you're supposed to be my father.
Does that mean anything to you?
But that you'll never see,
And a father you will never be.
If you could see the tears running down my face.
Still the years have passed you can't replace.
So, Dad, I've given up on you, and this time I'll leave.

Comfort on difficult days,                                                            Friendship to brighten your day                                                       Sunsets to warm your heart.                                                              Beauty for your eyes to see,                                                       Confidence for when you doubt.                                                           Faith so that you can believe.                                                         ­             Courage to know yourself,                                                               Patience to accept the truth                                                            ­         And love to complete your life.

I miss you in the morning                      And when the sun fades away,               The ache within my heart                    
Just will not go away.                                 My heart fills with love for you     When I think how much you cared As I relieve all the happiness   And the joy that we both shared.    You’re with me every moment                And so in every move I make.    Lay the memories I have of you   That I never will forsake

You broke my trust for you
You broke my heart way before                                                           ­    Any boy had a chance to
Just as you can break a twig
You smashed my heart into a million pieces
So now you got me broken inside
Sometimes now I just want to hide
You never cared for me that's why I feel broken
And you know that I'm not at all joking
You never loved me
You never listened to me
It's like you didn't have ears
Your heart is cold; it's always been pitch black
And now you made my heart have a huge crack
Whenever I stood up
You shoved me back down
You always acted like I wasn't around
You only ignored me
That's why sunshine
Is something you'll never see
That's also why you'll never be
Like a father to me
Whenever I spoke up you hushed me
Whenever I told you something you shushed me
That's why I'm leaving you behind
But unfortunately only in my mind

Sometimes,                                                       ­I suppose I am happy                      
When I am with my friends,     
Throwing my head back and covering my mouth                                                            ­ As I shake with laugher                                 At a joke someone just made.                      But then the day turns to night            
And my carefree grin turns into an unexplainable sadness.                                 I lay in bed.                                        Thinking about all the things  I wish I could say.                                                       All the things I'm afraid too admit,                                                           ­      Even with one pen, paper, and one mind.                                                            ­ It's nights like these when I realize             I am many things                                            I am happy and sad,                                        Outgoing and shy,                       Quiet                                                            ­    But mostly,
I am empty.

I'm happy that you are my teacher,            I enjoy every lesson that you teach            As a role model you inspire me                   To dream and to work and to reach.           With your kindness you get my attention, Every day I look forward to coming to School because of you.                            Your curiosity and motivation                     To know and to grow and to succeed.   You help me fulfill my potential,                  I'm thankful for all that you've done          I admire you each day, and I just want to say                                                              ­  
As a student, you are the best

She can make a teacher forget how to teach,                                                           ­     She can make a preacher not want to preach,                                                          She can make a dad not want to be a dad.                                                                 She can take your money,                        
She will ****** unborn babies or.             They will be born addicted.                          She will make you rob, steal, and ****.       If you try her                                                  You may never be free                                 She has already destroyed                           Teachers, Preachers, Dads, and Actors.      She has decreased                                  
Bank accounts, from millions to zero. When you are under her power    
You have no will.

Throughout my life,                                  You have always been near.                         At first you were a hand to hold.             The person who came running                 To pick me up when I fell.                       Now I know you are always                         A phone call away,                                    And I am so thankful for your wisdom, advice,                                                          Your words of encouragement and your silent prayers.                                                    If I am beautiful                                              It's because you told me so.                          If I am strong its because you showed me I could be.   ~Alyssa

Sisters and Brothers                 
Irritating each other                                     Bond thats unbreakable                               Love that last forever                                     Incredibly annoying at times                        Greatly appreciated                                        Surviving everything together             ~Alyssa Nichole

I had no where to turn, I had no where to go.                                                              ­   This is just something I think you need to know.                                                                 I don't know what made me trust you.        I still remember the day I told you what I've been going through,                                 I thought I should run away, go hide in a hole,                                                               But then you brought out my true soul.     As each day grew longer,                              Our trust became stronger                         
Each time I wanted to cry                              You stayed right there by my side.             ~Alyssa Nichole