Have you ever
Mixed memories
With what you wished
They could be,
Creating a fictional
Reality
Blended together
Like bitters and whiskey
Vermouth and a cherry,
The Manhattan of your dreams.

Icicle heart

I can't tell if it's cold outside
Or
I'm froze inside.
Icicle heart,
melts to raise the sea levels,
Then we drown in tears,
defeated by fears,
we see Devils,
The water is clear,
but crimson cold.
Your
cool calm and collected,
so level headed,
After all this years,
It's the apathy you feel
that makes fools of us.
Now there's swimming pools of regrets,
when
Icicles melt.
A cologne of shame,
pungent in the air,
carried by breath,
to pollenate the common class,
this
Icicle heart,
can never last
at least without
changing state
as
the landscape moves like a bad mood,
but the worst has passed,
and we backtrack.

Scrap that,

Take me back to the start,
Dinosaurs,
reptilian nature,
evolutions mistake,
Are you down for me and
My icicle heart,
melts into the stream,
and down the river it seems
an estuary divides us,
as we reach the sea,
impeach beliefs,
and the buoyant
keeps
my
icicle heart,
afloat,

I hope you feel me.

and
however it may seem,
you were nothing less
than a  dream,
nothing more than a
drop in the ocean to me,
and
my
cold cold icicle heart.

When life has taught you,
through experience,
that two unrelated things going wrong at the same time,
will beyond a shadow of a doubt,
**** everything up that really matters.

A lack of motivation
Not knowing where to start
A desire for something different
pulling at my heart

Who knew that dreams could be so tough
that they could cause such pain
that reaching out and grasping nothing
would become my lifes refrain

Is it stubborn-ness that keeps me
banging my head against this wall
or is it knowing that by giving up
I'd not recover from this fall

So for now I'll keep on chasing
tilting at windmills if you will
for no matter how bad failure tastes
quittings a much more bitter pill

Is it better to have loved and lost,
than never loved at all,
when the price of losing climbs so high,
and yet ignorance stays small?

That novel you read some years ago?
Well my friend I read it too.
The one that spoke of forever love:
Of someone for me and you.
There's a reason it's called Fiction.

I struggle to make sense of it
but the only reason I can see
is that I was there to give you strength
that helped you to set you free

You left a life of comfort
but with no spirit and no soul
for a life with many challenges
perhaps to make you whole

But first one thing then another
made our future hard to see
and after one too many battles
you walked away from me

So tell me whats the lesson here?
What am I learn from this?
That I'm destined to come second?
That I'll never top the list?

Because trust me I know heartbreak,
I've learned that one many times.
But I thought this time was different,
thought I'd read between the lines.

Now all I feel is guilty,
that our crossing paths just made yours worse,
to me you were a blessing.
Was I to you a curse?