I
lose my
breath,
I yell for help,
But I lose
myself,
My mental
health’s
Hell...

I write them
down with
a pencil,
Just to ****
the bells
that ring—
Echos of shame,
Names
I can’t
let go…
Playing games
in the shadow…

I love who
I loved,
Though
I stand by
myself…

The wrong
souls
I love—
drown me
In an ocean
of bitterness,
Self-hate—
Tell me they
hate me,
for the
way
I am.

They say
they’d stay—

But they go,
And I grow
cold
and alone…

Still, I’m
standing,
One day
hoping
Someone
will guide
me to hope

My mind is a
Blind winter,
The wind of
inner thoughts,
thrive like a wild child,
Heart beating louder
Like thunder,
Chills spines
down inside,
Shaking, cold,
And still holding
Onto what kills me.

I can’t find a place
that’ll keep my
face warm,
In this blind winter—
I’ve been following
the whispers
of bitter souls
I conjured—

“You’ll—
                            die—
       alone—
                        in—
the—
            snow—”

I’ve been following
Traces of snow of
rewind tapes—
To moments
left paralyzed…
I feel lost in time…

In the blind
winter snow…

I read your text
and it kind
of hurt me,
I don’t know
what happens next
Or what lies you said
In your circle,
Planning to **** me twice,
That ain’t nice—

Every time
I think of you,
I’m on the brink,
bout to sink fast—
Nah scratch that—
Or maybe not—
Mind’s a maze
When I rewind
To the tapes of
Moments left
broken

When you
called me back,
Wantin’ to
make amends,
I hesitate cuz
you had a
plan to manipulate,
Suffocate me with
Unsolved karma,
Throw salt on my
Mistakes,
Then go crying
to your mama—
Like I’m Freddy
in your nightmares—
Trauma!
Thinking she
got advise,
A hotline for lies,
She ain’t curing your—
Drama!

I just wanna escape,
You still hold onto
The hate,
Throw me
back onstage,
Bout to break me—
Spotlight blazing shame,
Feeling the flames
Burning my fate—
crossed my name out—

Oh no,
Here goes
my fat ex,
Driving in a
Fedex truck,
Shipping hate,
like it’s Christmas Day,
Almost got me fed up!
About to ****** the
messenger
with a bullet
But I cut the
*******—

What a sitcom!
Yeah you’re the star,
Playing games
with my brain
Acting like you’re
the villain
with a monologue
and a backstory,
round of applause,
You tore me apart—
I got some scars!
I was friends
with a monster—

Trust was shattered—
a prop show,
A joke at first,
But ends up
being a war—
A **** show…

But I’m still
standing,
spitting bars,
Flipping scripts
on the spot,
Writing you off
Like you never existed
In the first place—
In a space,
where I can’t erase,
But I can embrace,
You fading away.

Indigo—
It was nice
to know you,
But I’m done,
gotta go,
Hope you don’t grow
bitter and older,
But **** that,
I ain’t wishing
you luck—

I’m not cold-hearted,
I’m just getting colder
With a fractured heart—
Gotta find myself hope—
And when I do,
I’ll be the
one to open
it.

We wrote a
chapter together…
Once a story of happiness—
soon foreshadowing
what’s now a tragic
epilogue of heartache.

A haunting tale of
A broken connection
sinking in the ocean…
inky quotes
Stabbed my heart
Open with
illusions:

“I love you…”
“I promise…”
“I HATE YOU!”

The weight of cold,
bitter emotions—
etched into the pages
of an unforgiving lie,
and moments
full of regret.
I’d wish
I could
forget you.

You wanted to
write a new chapter,
but I’ve already closed
the book,
left it on the shelf…
where I found you

To forgive you
Is like playing
Russian Roulette.
A fifty-fifty bet
With one bullet—
Harsh moments
loaded In the barrel of
a silver revolver,
Aiming at my heart,
Still wanting to
forgive you—
Trust you even…

Will it end me,
send me to the coffin
of regret?
Or click away
into nothing?
Tension ticking…

When you called me,
Saying you’re sorry,
I felt so mixed up
in my emotions—
drowning me
with this question...

Do I gamble my life?
Spin the chamber
of hope,
take the shot,
And see what happens
when I forgive you?

Or do I leave the gun
on the table,
Turn my back,
walk away—
and forget you…
Forever?