S ometimes I'd rather die I'm
U seless and have no purpose but
I nstead I lose my motivation, lying down and pulling the
C overs over my head, crying and dying on the
I nside instead of on the outside but in the end the outcome
D oesn't  really matter because if no one even cares
E nough to comfort me then they wouldn't care enough to show up to my funeral

She is the sun
the warmth that brings life
the smile that comes to your face
when you think about summer

Everyone wants to be around her
to bathe in her radiant rays
they'll grunt and groan when she has to move
over to make room for the moon

I am the moon
The villain who steals the spotlight from the sun
whenever I come out people slam their doors in my face
and hide inside with their eyes closed all night

And just like we'll never share the same sky
I know we'll never see eye to eye
I'll always be in her shadow, the absence of all light
we've been in this battle since the beginning of time

The sun she can burn you
if you hang out with her for too long
if you admire her too much
her beauty will behold you blind

And I know I don't shine
as bright as the sun
And I know my glimmer is only mildly appreciated
when surrounded by a sea of shimmering stars

But the stars are just too out of reach
for me to hold in my hands
and whenever I look down at the ground
the people on the streets are spread too far and too few

I'll be waiting high in the sky for the few night owls
who need some fresh air and can't sleep
I'll be there for anyone who needs to give their burns a break
and stay out of the sun's harmful rays

I hate that it's true
but I really miss you
I know I said we're through,
that I'm better off without your abuse,
that I hate whenever you blow a fuse

But sometimes people get lonely
that even though I'll say "I hate you!" coldly
deep down I want you back

Every day I have a panic attack
because you're not around
because I'll never hear the sound
of your soft voice ever
again reassuring me that we'll always be together
Forever

Long blonde hair
doesn’t have a care
she bounces when she walks
and sounds funny when she talks

That girl is me

Most people can’t see
past my too bright clothes
or my too big bows
they just give me one glance
and without giving me a chance
decide that I’m not worth their time

And you know, its fine
I’ll just crack open my favorite book
or start another story in my notebook
I’ve lived in this place for twelve years
I’ve done since conquered my fears
of being shut down
I’ve always found a way to turn my frown
into a smile
a way to not get irritated or riled
up the second things don’t go my way

I plan to stay
in this city for the rest of my life
and become a hardworking housewife
there’s no reason to try and stir up trouble
I feel fine inside my own little bubble

But obviously my friends wouldn’t  let me do that
because, let's be honest, humans aren’t meant to be doormats
I'll always have Robert, or Child, or Ant
without them I-I just can’t!
they took me in when I needed them the most
and no I’m not going to bore you or boast
but you should at least know that they’re my everything
that without them I’m like a bird without wings
that they’ve shaped me into the person I am

And no, I don't give a ****
if they're all a bunch of freaks
I wouldn’t be here without my lovable band of geeks
and if any of you ever attempt to hurt
them I’ll crush your days to dirt
without a second thought
of getting caught

I love that when I’m around them I can take down my walls
that while sprawled
on the floor I can laugh and cry
without the fear of being criticized.
I can tell them how I believe love is love
and that there's nothing anyone should be ashamed of.
that to really live life you don’t just aim to survive
but to thrive
that maybe there isn’t a heaven or a hell
but that there's nothing we should dwell
on or regret

And yet...

I know we all have different dreams
in less than a year our little group will fall apart at the seams
and even after I’m free of this cesspool
I’ll just be going to another school
working and studying and pouring my blood, sweat, and tears
the same way I’ve been doing for years

Since sophomore year I’ve been persistent
on becoming a dental assistant
it wasn't the first path I had chosen
but it's a realistic path my parents have woven
for me and I trust their intentions

Now I hope I haven’t forgotten to mention
that my biggest dream of all,
and though I know it may seem small,
is to get married and have kids
to feel overwhelmed with love when I look down into a crib
and be met with a big smiling face and a little button nose
oh, and I just know
when I become a mother I wont lose my childish edge
I’ll be paying bills but I’ll still have my zest
of course I'll still make time for longboarding and drawing and reading

I’ll spend lots of time searching and seeking
out my purpose
I’ll hold my head high and stop being the nervous
little girl I used to be

Because I’ll finally be the best version of me

No matter what I try to do
I'll never be enough for you

I love myself
you'll never hear me say that
I regret the things I've done
I know without a shadow of a doubt that
I am genuine
I'll never let people tell me that
I lie through my teeth
I believe deep down that
I have good intentions
you'll never convince me into thinking that
I hate myself

(Now read from bottom to top)