The echoes of life
cracks bones, and may shatter us all.
Like a glass hanging off the window,
all are often broken and fragile.

In tiny little whispers
silence calls you closer to fear.
As it always knows your name
knowing who and what you are.
It's a voice within us all.

Life can feel so lonely,
as an empty dark corner
In that very dark, it seems no one cares to see you.
You feel so alone.

But you're not,
just a victim to a mental state.
A state you don't fight on your own,
we're a lot feeling let down by life.
Why we're really so down.

We're the echoes screaming
from inside ourselves.
Please. Can anybody hear us.

It feels so great to be so grate,
especially as one with a shredded mind.
As I read red is the new blue to all my blues,
but as someone who often knows his creativity
leaks out of their head, with a ****** nose.
I'd still like to split the bill of paying for
my own well being,— do check the cheque.

And I might as well pay extra for all my dues
for a lifetime of all my do's, and change all
my ideas on top of my head, like those new hairdos.
But to whoever stares too close into my eyes, you may
slip and fall with the stairs leading to my mind.
As I'm one more trip to trip over another misstep;
like another thing that will always disappoint you.
I guess there's a lesson in those pains, that I can't
even make fun of on this straight and narrow,— saying
no to diss a point.

But if I fail too much, I hope I don't miss that sign
before I sign my life away to depression,
A depression deep as the sea bottom you'll never really see,
and typing out it's Crushing feeling with a capital C.
You can credit me for having a wet eye; the tears of
each time life tears out another hopeful page from
the story of my life.

—Life, is really as great as what you hope you read,
but I'd never really know on the nose,
so please do check for yourself.

As there's no due time for your dreams,
unless we're considering death, as the Mistress
who has to do what she has to do.
I know there must be a stair case to heaven,
but right now I pray for strength to live through
this hell with people's many evil stares.
But I'll say it in advance, "so sorry to anyone,
I didn't mean to disappoint you, again"

I still hope you can read the sign from whatever I
write, before I sign it in my blood, sweat and tears.
But you don't seem to see much, when you're
drowning in your thoughts,—its like a sea, much
before you write out the letter C to your Carelessness.

Of course I'd sound like I care less
for any of the tears in anyone's eyes,
But is it wrong of me to say I'm tired, "but I'm too
young to be tired," and I guess I'd be too wrong to
want to tear out that expression out of your mind.

         But anyways that's the story of my life.

Oh,
how I yearn for the era
when existence was adorned
with the bliss of simplicity.

It was a time,
when my grandest ambition
was to emulate the adults,
to engage in make-believe
and assume their roles.

The mere utterance,
of those two words, "young man,"
would instantaneously illuminate
my innocent countenance.

It was a designation,
that bestowed upon me
a sense of significance, reverence,
and recognition in a world that
appeared so immense and unfamiliar.

Those were the instances,
when I genuinely believed
that all was attainable, and
the future held boundless prospects.

The recollections,
of those untroubled days
still kindle a warmth within my heart,
reminding me of the sheer felicity
that can be discovered in the most
uncomplicated of matters.

Mockingbirds, those beautiful creatures with feathers
as delicate as a whisper, find themselves trapped within
the confines of a cage, their melodic songs
silenced by the prison that surrounds them.

As they spin on the scale, their movements resemble
the graceful twirls of your hair, each strand reflecting the
music that dances in your soul. The sight leaves me awestruck,
my gaze fixated on the cracks in your eyes.
They tell tales of a life filled with both joy and sorrow, and
I can't help but be captivated by the depth within them.

But amidst this enchantment, I cannot help but feel
a pang of sadness for the little birdie that flew into a
deceptive net, its tiny body possibly breaking its delicate neck.
This mere accident, this twist of fate, has brought a sense
of loss and pain. In an attempt to make amends, to reclaim a
semblance of what was lost, I will venture back to the store.

I will seek out the mockingbird's freedom,
buying back its worth with the hopes of restoring
the balance that has been disrupted.

For in this act, I hope that I can bring a ray of light
to your world, honoring the beauty that lies within you
and the harmony that the mockingbirds sought to emulate.

May this small gesture of returning the caged bird symbolize
a larger journey towards reclaiming the freedom and worth
that was once taken away.

And on the stages of many eyes,
I yield myself not to perform,
Given an unscripted act of life,
It all seems unpredictable of our roles,
For the lyrics of song to your being,
Are only written words,
                             God's mouth formed.

Early rise into the morning. O'how  I wish I was waking up to you.
As the Sun's first glares touches and kisses a mountain's peek, I would wish to do the same. For surely not my love for you is all but so True.

Allies in my heart lending a helping hand for I feel so emotionally drained.
I would wish you to be gone forever for racing my very own heart, but I would prefered if you stayed.
Yet my love for you often hurt me as so before, because it felt like I was on my own, caught up in all these emotions.
Sorry to say that I secretly hated you for making me feel such a pain, but I still chose to stay ignoring all the cautions.

Though your emotions took so much time to develop and burst out for me to see,
I found comfort in the fact that day  would arrive and I could feel your love for me.
Though you made me wait so Long for no apparent reason,
Making me feel so lost and hopeless, for it felt like all you were doing was simply but teasing.
I still held onto the fact that I would find calm after been so emotionally drained,
I held tightly onto your arm and waited for you to hold back. O'how I hoped and prayed.

Baby you had me in such ups and downs, feeling left out in my own love for you,
Till I cried all my tears, now often I can't even cry but a few.

Yet I stayed this painful course for there was a greater reward at the very end.
Now I have you, though I tire so much. But I'm truly happy of the fact, now I slumber and fall to rest on my bed. O'how I've made you something more than a friend.

I. Fracture (The Splintering)
Divorce in my eyes— not just of lovers,
but of trust split cleanly in two. It’s a quiet
betrayal, where belief in others fractures
like glass in morning frost. The break isn't loud—
It’s slow, and it lingers like silence in a room
that once held laughter.
____________

II. Hope (The Gaze Upward)
Still, beneath the applause of stars,
I offer my belief in myself— a trembling gift
to their gleaming, ancient eyes. May my resilience
Be a constellation they name, not out of pity,
but awe. I crave mesmerizing remarks, spoken with
love—not just spoken of love— if only they knew
how to spell the word without misspelling it in action.
____________

III. Dust (The Reckoning)
Like mystic dust on the untouched virtues of time,
I’ve seen dreams— soiled, scattered, folded into
the pockets of regret. Not just mine. Many.
The world has walked through the fields of hope
with muddy boots. And now, in my dirt eyes,
I carry the stains— not of sin, but of seeing too
much and still refusing to look away.

Tensions that live rent free in your head
-I guess it's not a tenant

Still the kind of people saving up old money;
we don't have much for our early pension
So please don't be late, especially when you're
working yourself to death

I've a few times picked a bone with you,
for working all of those skeleton hours
Chasing a dream day by day,
and hopefully the night's result, is the money following

Life *****, and of course you can't spit the taste,
as our youth is something we have to swallow
And drink a little harsh truth to wash it all down

Don't forget to be social,
talking to peers about so and so
Who we know, and who pretend to not know,
but it's really stuck on your nose; as the scent of intentions

I do get your intentions, still listen to me intensively;
kiss your wife hello, more than goodbye
Be there for the family, the kids might forget to call you dad,
but more of a daily service provider- that's really sad

                                    ...P.s, a note to self

As easily, a leaf falls
--we sometimes fall in love
Such is a tragic beautiful nature
deep rooted, in wettest tears desire

Often to be a clasp, locking my lips
by fastening burning sensation to love
—as young, while the time is ours
We are like flowers, pretty fragile, bending
                                  to much higher powers

Do not speak to me of nature: of those
unnatural unattractive eyes, not to at least once
                     See into having ***** intentions
You’d spoil the soil of your skin, that has left
yours and my nostalgia—two kids first kiss
And what’s left of a heart, lying empty on hot
pavement, belonging to the street’s

You are the frozen tear, that cauterized me
till years. Still I’ve enjoyed such a burning passion
As perhaps by nature—why I’m so in love,
perhaps by our love nature, we have all
                      these seasons to fall in love

Unpublished,
are my thoughts; ideas
that could of become dreams.

And how so I couldn't afford it,
I was only loose for change,
short of it, that I became indifferent
To not seeming to win and changing it all
-to lose for change.

Do I know all that one
      could know?

          (No!)

I'm only by the bye;
  of saying my goodbyes.

To raise myself on high;
   to wave a welcome to fate.

            (Hi!)

So to myself... my trade of
        thought is split-
     I am surely in two.

For what is fate;
   for how many times has it
determined a choice in my life?

           (Four!)

Like two words that sound the same;
             but like me-
The two sides of me are so different,
     that defines who I am.

I  am the good, but also the bad.

For all the good times, the bad were more.
Yesterday was so amazing but tomorrow brings a sense of worry.
And right now today I'm kind of in a bore,
and sometimes I don't appreciate the little moments so I'm sorry.

For all the good times, the joy is limited.
Everyone knows what I mean for we're all witnesses.
And we all have a thought of when our good days are over. At the end who'll be missing us.

For all the good times, times are feeling low,
other days pretty slow. And the rest we don't really know.
So we'll see how it goes.

And if it goes to right don't be left behind.
If we going down low don't stay too high up in the clouds with a wondering mind.
And if it's out there in the crazy world; find safety inside.

Heck if you could, in the good times you'd act bad if you would.
In the bad you'd tick off the rest with your good mood.

For all the good times we secretly prepare for the bad.
And it's a unsettling fact, but don't be sad.
For the short while in the good times try to be glad.

For all the good times seem not to last that long.

They ain't a lot of thanks
For any of these inner acts.

Somebody take away how I feel
You're welcome to even come and steal.

I'll tend to relax
Forget about all these inner acts.

Laziness is the disease, stress the increase.

Can't do that much but so many things on the "To Do List"
Life pulls and fights against me, so I'll fight back with a lazy fist

I have inner acts
So strong they've been solid facts.

Pride a thorn in my side, a large ego digs it deeper.

It's all but me, no other person's idea will ever matter
But if I were to ever eat my pride and ego, I'd constantly grow fatter and fatter.

With inner acts I sometimes lose track of what is real
So if you wish to borrow some you're welcome to steal.

For lust sickens me to the core
But it seems to never end for it comes as more.

Envy is a drug like ******* taken on a straight ruler.

Probably will overdose on it, till my  nose is cold and running.
Till it will leak in my heart like inside  there's broken plumbing.

Such a time is so alarming.

Inner acts, inner acts,
Seem calm to many but no time to relax.
I'll cut this sickness soon. By tomorrow I'm buying a black axe.

letting all the guns sing;
society and our bodies Already know the chorus
someone dying by the gun isn't just a tragedy, but just Another Story
dying in a blaze of fury,— Innocent deaths, going out without any glory

... circles, circles, and circles; it's just how the cyle goes

and there's no water under the bridge;
while we're all Drowning in those bullets
raining tears, and smoke
better grab your umbrellas, under Another day of Bullet Storms

... circles, circles, and circles when will the cycle
          end?

Quotes of my words paints the picture of my name,
a kid stuck in is head sticking to his dues
And due to the bigger picture of things I'd much prefer to stay stuck inside my frame.

But the painted picture can't remain the same,
so let me add a little detail
Hang myself with interesting people
and be part of the craft of painting this picture.

Still I don't see what's the final art piece,
it's a puzzle piece against puzzle piece
A stroke into another stroke,
and a hit line into the fine line
But I should try to find peace within myself from this rhythmic rhyme.

Find the grand stand of the outstanding,
amount to the worth before I lose interest
into my soul's investment
Banking onto the little pennys spent into my dreams of wanting to be grand standing.

For I believe,

To be of cause is only when I'm heading in the right direction;
a long way through life and the challenges
Cause life's a trip and quiet battle that hits low by the midsection.

To be one of the greatest means I should have hang with a few,
Hang my thoughts and ideas with them and  borrow a few
Still I see you as great, but I aim to be greater than all of you

I'm the painted picture that your eye fails to sway from,
the piece art critics wish to know the background of

"Hey where did this piece come from"

And my theme of it all is behind the detail
so feel into my words through braille.

....all time is a slow pace to death
as love is a muscle memory,
till the heart soon forgets it

quarries of thought
turning a mind to stone
all those queries of fears;
quickening heartbeats from working my
livelihood. it all makes my worth it's home

and at a time I'm alone
i don't feel as low, underneath the opinions
of those less understanding
to so many people's branding; my many social suicides
of conversations left hanging
and always feeling like an unanswered call;
with all those intrusive thoughts constantly ringing

        repeat, repeat, rinsing out old dreams
        trying to stretch what time I have to achieve them
                 "time is made up of unpredictable wrinkles"

yet strangely enough, I have so much time
to love and hate people.  in part to be part of party people
going a couple few rounds with a rowdy group
and pretending to be like you, and playing what's left
of my youth

feeling always as the
alone, depressed, antisocial, introvert
in every room

If only I was dream: lucid
Able to do anything, just by my thoughts
of anything I could think: endless
For what could feel like the end, could be
where I first begin; or where I fall in between: desire
Oh how beautiful would that be; to be a lucid endless desire

                     ...if only.

"**** the world,"
seems to be a statement easy enough for a lot of people to say.
And at most we **** mother nature raw, cos we failed to protect her; I just hope we can be more responsible for her baby one day. But I do hear her walls shaking, as her eyes are timid tears blocked behind a lot of smoke.
Maybe we should write for her an SOS as a last hope, and stop feeding our prideful thoughts against her,— food for thought? Truthfully, this first part is more like a representation of how
men tend to **** over their girl.

I guess I should include myself by this second bad serving,
along the lines of me remembering how I used to treat girls like second servings. Some would call a woman sweet, but I'm not convinced of it being a compliment,— more of a dessert thing.
Like how she's supposed to taste sweeter every time you and her kiss, as she's supposed to be a treat, but you had to spoil her. Spoiling yourself by spoiling yourself on her. Careful now, you might have misread what she was saying when she bit her lips.

But by this third part, I tried convince myself not to swear,
still **** it, — I was at this point more annoyed with myself,
as a person who knows they're prone to getting sick
...So they get annoyed with their health. As I fail to have healthy conversations with myself, and reflect on some memories.
But my memories are mostly bad dreams, and bad dreams mostly make up a lot of bad things.
And keeping them to myself means I'll always blame myself more, than wanting to split the blame between friends and family.
And like the second verse,
I now understand the taste of getting a bad serving.
Unfortunately I don't bite my lips as an expression of pleasure. My lips to the taste of failure is always a ******,—so right now, this part is really ******* hurting.

So can somebody please, get this ******* disappointment
off me, before it thinks it's turning me on, but it's close
to offing me.

I'm stuck in between the space
Of her eyes; two of the prettiest stars
Should I make a wish,
Wishing, wishing for more than
I already have

I close my eyes with a sigh,
"Please, please don't let her-, (who was my galaxy)
Ask for a bit of space"

There’s a prayer with a sigh—
a breath let out like scripture,
written in stone, signed by a former lover.

Would you ignore every sign,
just to chase the shape of a feeling?
In over your head, thinking you’re
heading in the right direction—
when even the stars have stopped pointing.

A little too forceful, a little too often,
repeating the same mistake like it’s part
of the ritual— a pattern etched in skin,
but called love, to make it sting less.

But maybe… it’s the measure that matters most—
how the repetition finally taught you to become
your own ruler. Not of someone else’s heart,
but of your own.

Club lights

Not the drinking type,

Just here for the light drinks tonight. 

The night feels heavy 

Barely keeping my drink down. This red drink I'm sipping looks at me with such envy. 

Drowning in a couple of rounds, 

Barely hearing the music of the club sounds. 

But in the moment I caught you by my shadowy eye. 

She looked glamorous as could be. Had my heart say Oh my. 

She passed me by, 

A scent of her perfume all too much,  you can tell she ain't the one to be shy. 

Ordering a couple drinks for her and the girls. She drinks the ones of pink. 

Gave me a lustful smile, I barely found a thought to think. 

Hey, could I get your name, 

Here in the night life we all looking for fame. 

But you could be the one for this wild heart to tame. 

I could tell she was feeling my vibe, 

She stayed close to my side. 

What you drinking, I can match your poison 

Better yet I'll top that by five. Your girlfriends can join in. 

Couple drinks in, we were touching on each other. 

Hoping by the end of the night she let's me in her place for new things to discover. 

Which place we going to, I can lend you the keys to mine. 

Let's leave by the hour, let's not waste any more time. 

For when we got to my place it all became history. 

I'd tell you what happened in between the sheets, but I'll keep that a mystery. 



Heavy Breath

The smooth of her curves, 

Moving her body in such tempting swerves. 

Dear me she has my head in twirls. 

She loves herself the most, a woman full of pride. 

Down for the ride 

But not to stay by your side. 

She's no man's bride. 

But right now she's stuck in my mind. 

She told me it was just for the night, 

We made love together just out of spite.

It's late morning, we share a bed 

From all the other cool guys in the club she came home with me instead. 

She had no time to waste, we got straight into the deed 

She had me convinced that I was her only need. 

Now laying both naked, she lights up a cigarette 

Pulls ******* it's white body. She holds no regret. 

She faces my way, gives me a smile. 

She's not going anytime soon, she's here for a while. 

She climbs on top of me to give a kiss. 

I follow too. Can't say I could resist. 

Her smokey air is just of Heavy Breath. 

She looks sweet outside but in her is such a stench. 

She's a wreck,
What do you expect.

For what happens next 

Are the open sins of no respect. 

For I may be something of her next prey 

Cause right now she's here to stay. 

Trouble

Between us is no distance, 

Her body I find no resistance. 

You stayed over for a couple more nights. 

Having me take ALL your drugs till we both got high. I forgot to mention I'm afraid of heights. 

But I enjoy the couple long nights spent, 

The morning does arrive soon. Waking up to yesterday's regrets. 

Falling hard for the club girl. To wild to contain, 

I still never really caught your name. 

Too drugged out with you. These memories so hard to contain. 

I'm not acting the same. 

No way you're good for me. Just a ***** deed. 

But you make it seem like you're all I need. 

You're just a thing I kinda lack, 

I could chase you away but we know I'll be calling you back. 

Trouble you are but I ain't had enough, 

This type of love leaves me a few scars cause you playing it too rough. 

I should rid you now but I ain't had enough, 

Lying to myself that I could change you to be a better person. **** that's such a bluff. 

Birthday Suit

What you wearing tonight, 

Looking forward to you for another night. 

Stop with the madness, she's killing you slowly. 

My mind screams to me in short cries. But I don't want to listen for I don't want to end up lonely. 

What's she wearing tonight, something I wanna see. 

Is it wrong of what I'm doing when she's doing it so right to me. 

Mother would be turning in her grave, 

Dear boy open up your eyes. She's got you in a daze. 

But it was just a haze, 

Of me not seeing the change she makes in me while stuck on her waves. 

What you wearing tonight, 

Something kinda special. 

Just don't tempt me that much. You better be very careful. 

Running nose on the snow she gives me whenever, 

Taking these drugs under any kind of Weather.

How I lose the grip of sight. 

But till I get back to that tell me baby what you wearing tonight. 

Mind over Time

Couple more minutes we're sharing together, I'm running out of time. 

She ain't the one to settle down but I'm wishing she was MINE. 

She's having my heart and insanity on a silver platter. 

I'm slowly out of it but really now nothing matters. 

Driving to my own death. Moving there quite faster, 

Perhaps I should confess of these sins to the Pastor. 

I stood in front of a mirror, 
I seen things that clearer. 
Who is this man I stare at, 
Your eyes are gone down into your skull. Drug addict ain't that a fact. 

Where's the mind over the time, 
She's a crook of my health, she does the crime. 

Heart over Reality

Reality is I should have rid you weeks ago 

Now my own heart poisons my body on the low. 

Really I should go 

But how to leave, I truly don't know. 

My heart claims to be in love 

But this ain't true love that the Lord brought from high above. 

How young and dumb am I 

To think this facade reality. It's such a lie. 

She's having me close to death but I'm so afraid to die. 

**** you for making me your personal addict. 

But I chose the title when I never left. Never thought it through, never planned it. 

Heart over this True reality, I see a Truth. 

To cut you off by the root.
Done being a childish youth. 

Soul over Power

Lose you now, it's about the hour. 

Do I have the strength to leave, do I have the power. 

You outgrew your prettiness, you're just an old flower. 

My dark soul is fighting for the light 

But the road there ain't looking to bright. 

Still I made the decision to leave you by tonight. 

Made it to your place, 

Been avoiding you for a couple weeks. Can't stand your face. 

At your home I hear your not alone, 

Ignored all my texts on your phone. 

I open the door to find you in your bed not on your own. 

Who's this man you having bedroom sessions with. Couldn't be better than me unless he's my clone. 

Now darling you've torn through my SOUL. 

You had to play foul, 

Give me a good reason not to crack his skull. 

But I close my eyes and realize it's just in your nature 

So I rather pretend we never met. Let you be a stranger. 

This man ain't knowing of you being a danger. 

I had no power to speak but your own actions already spoke for me. 

Thanks for the time baby, better yet thanks for setting me free. 

Rehab

It ain't easy losing a habit, 

Dying for a quick fix. Drug round the corner, how I easily smell it. 

But I need to be strong, 

A road to recovery is surely that long. 

Walking on it with sore feet, 

Made drugs my easy retreat. 

But those old habits can't go on repeat, 

An empty habit will surely die when I plan to **** it. 

O'yes I feel depressed 

But let me clear my body of it all. Let me give it some due respect. 

No to drugs and the carriers of it. 

Club life is fast paced but the drugs **** you slow. 

Don't be the buyer of the drug, don't plan to sell it. 

Hear such wise words. Take control.

Avoid the heavy breath 

The easy way to make your inner being stench. 

Find strength, 

Resist the temption, don't chase it endlessly like a old dog playing fetch.

Two lover's body language,
not so good with words in between kisses
The then after; it's likely me ending it
off,— just awkward laughter
Taking bites on the dictionary to feed
my diction

          "I was lost for words
                after our very first kisses"

I am the keeper of treasured memories spanning a
lifetime before, encapsulating the very essence
of cherished moments, both big and small.
From the innocence of childhood to the adventures of youth,
I hold them close, everpresent in my thoughts.
Each memory acts as a conduit, allowing me to revisit
the triumphs, the challenges, and the growth that have shaped me.
These memories form the tapestry of my existence,
reminding me of the paths walked and the lessons learned.

Moreover, I embody a bittersweet nostalgia for the near
future, anticipating the moments yet to come with
a blend of excitement and wistfulness.
The familiar ache of longing for milestones yet to be reached,
dreams yet to be fulfilled, and connections yet to be formed.
And in this liminal space of the present, I find solace
and delight in envisioning the possibilities that lie
just beyond the horizon.

In me, the echoes of the past and the whispers
of the future converge. I exist as a bridge between what
has been and what is yet to be.
In every sense, I am a living testament to the
beauty and complexity of the human journey.

Pretty are eyes;
tickled by the midnight
Lost in the space of time;
to those who gaze into them.

As with a shadow;
that lurks behind innocence
A grey cloud of smoke;
in a set fire of one's risqué.


                       Seems the night let's;
               the light of you come out.

Dancing around, putting on a show.
Baby I'm tired to watch, wanna be part of the act. But these feet fall out of place without the rythme they know.

Thinking through it all, my heart your treasure would you bury it deep.
Or do you keep it close to yours. Break it's chest and you'd force me to weep.

Remember thinking I needed a million dollars and pretty girl to care for me.
Got more from you. Lesser of that money I have but you still there for me.

And feeling like the walls could tear down if I did you wrong by your screams.
I can't hurt myself so why do that to you. It's my insecurities all as it seems.

Scared off more if I wrote in the wrong books of your family,
If both sides didn't get along that would be the slow knife killing me.

Still at the ****** of Love, untouched by any other flesh
Often so it's tempting me in a bit of hurt when thinking of you differently under your dress.

Dancing on my wishes at an edge.
Blushing more than I can control. Skin like my inner self, turning red.

Perhaps I'm scared.

Of the day we become one with anxiety of doing you wrong that we split.
Just wish to do you right even in my wrong. My love of you is plenty even in it's small bit.

And due to these thoughts I'm missing you more than I ever could. I'm vulnerable.
In memories of you. Stuck in my head you're so memorable.

Baby I need you. Scary enough I'm not in denial.
Taking a longer route to you, over the pain and trial.

Down to earth girl, you're closer to the ground than I wish to be.
Screaming in my head of how I earned you with such doubts within me.

Dancing on the wishes. My feet both left, overstepping that I'll be tripping.
Falling more for you, waiting to hit the ground. Heart's in love, overjoyed, jumping and skipping.

So baby I'll follow in your steps to try keep up. Forgive me for the mistakes.
Still if I have to mess up a few times to better myself for you, so shall I do whatever it takes.

Running with kids who only speaking subbic
Doing the worst of things with no care in public
Girls clutching stomachs, in their guts screaming they love it
To find the whole thing disgusting
I'm discussing all of my judgements
Still not relating with my cousins
And it's kind of scary how time feels
Tired of making mistakes on life's lonely wheel
Made up phases when every boy wanted fades
Singing about Compton, but never what we were raised
But our corrupt streets will eat your heart, and be grazed
And when you tried to be fresh, pretending to be cool in school
As wanting to break all of the rules, we know we never could
Never should—but it felt good knowing you were the dude
Thinking of how to impress girls, meant you being rude
But I must of learnt a lot
Really from all the things I never got

I just need to apply brakes to my heart
I just hope it doesn't break me apart

And as I'm growing older
I've got more warm remarks, with handshakes getting colder
The essence of confessions, all the time feeling restless
Not fitting in with the rest, and I would care less
So often careless, but let me learn from my youth
I've got glue in my shoes, stuck in place and dance moves
But I must of learnt a lot
Really from all the things I never got

I just need to apply brakes to my heart
I just hope it doesn't break me apart

Breakfast with the stares;
my bowl of cereal was extra cold
Killing all of the time in a crowed room;
a pretty enough serial killer
I milked up all of my tears,
drawing out the words to admit I was fed up
And quite full of myself, feeding up on all
of your food for thought

Sorry darling, call me a little selfish
for wanting every last bite of you
A man; as all men tend to be dogs;
still keeping his heart later on in a doggy bag
Thinking way too forward as always;
let me try and take it a little back- ******* perhaps?

But why such a line would deserve a chance
at your hand; is really just a possibility of a slap
Whit! Okay I felt that one for showing this kind of whit,
so please do call me an ***, for sounding like I'm
trying to get some ***

Happy at work,
much happier alone at home.
Out a little outside the world,
being a moment alone is a much better free roam.

Under these words – under pressure;
a reflective gaze cast on restless skies, days
becoming mirrors to us all — shining back
fragments we try to ignore.

Thoughts over water, drowning away in
myself — no lifeboat in sight, just ripples
of casual doubts, and this casual self that suits
the occasion of standing on business — as if
duty could silence the tide within.

Later rehearsals play out in the theatre of trials —
where life keeps testing, and those falling in love
in public become gossip in the rain.
Soft, but heard. Brief, but echoing.

Give us a little space; space exists to be used —
lest we start to feel abused by presence that
doesn’t pause to respect the silence.

There’s always a clue to finding yourself —
often tucked inside those who build you up,
brick by spoken brick — sticking to your side,
a friendship made of genuine glue.

And its occupants; are the ones who don’t
overstay their worth, who know how to shape
time into a home away from home.
Not permanent, but warm. Not perfect, but safe.

To share tears like rivers drawing in and from
one another —currents of grief and grace,
there are gifts in that flow. So appreciate those
in your life who’ve been so current —both
present and moving, flowing with you instead
of watching you sink.

I love you in good taste
why good morning kisses
Pain of experience, acquired taste
waking tomorrow on yesterday's creases

Late debates, on a pillowcase
pillow talk with smothered words
To prefer—things said in vein crawling
under the skins ~it was a long night

Discovering the art of truthfulness, as I rest on my bedside, I discover myself surrounded by a cushion filled with falsehoods, where it lies. It's a constant struggle not to shed tears, for my eyes are always overflowing with pools of emotions, drowning away any possibility of finding the inspiration of this word, “beauty”.

My empty gaze, incapable of hiding a disguise, hates the shallow beauty standards that society imposes. We often find ourselves falling aside, overshadowed by the captions that emphasize our flaws,—                 much like the petals that gracefully descend to the ground.

Even when people assert that true beauty resides within,                         life has a way of reflecting our insecurities, mirroring uncertainties and fears. I would sleep for a thousand days, just to dream of a better world,— a world that would regard me as their, “Sleeping beauty."

No, no, no...instead I will awaken to confront another day, on my own terms and standard. And I  bet the world would have plenty to say, but so few are their words, for me to let them spoil my mood today.

           I am beautiful!

Dusty eyes- ***** looks
kissed by rust for lips; a bit rusty
from the last I've kissed
My tongue tied in my teeth,
compliments have faded into blue
once a someone for loving you—but now treated
as no-one important after I broke up with you
                          ~towards my exes

I cry in secret under the dark of a dim
lit screen. Finger typing, stereotype reminiscing
on ill talk hidden under a voice tone
I translate your body language well- you're angry
at the sight of me. Disappointed, annoyed, bitter
towards what you've concluded by sight
                       ~towards all people

Only when I pour my heart out
you have no words to utter a comment or
recognition out of your mouth
And as I write out of a passing meaningless
thought- seems you have so much to say
Giving a ridiculous fee towards the recognition
I'm always forced to pay
            ~towards publications and peers

You make me feel less—no I've come to
always expect less. I've made myself less
Under stress, standing underneath society's
umbrella term of being successful
But haven't I already succeeded in being humble,
caring, understanding- being myself

It all seems impossible to actually be yourself
and somebody else wants to be somebody else
Who then nowadays is actually being themselves?

She has her highs,
I have most of my blue
While all of my messages are read,
no matter what I say, I can barely see much
love out of my purple eye's hue.

Time is golden,
still I tend to **** most of it nowadays
While death is black; my envy is always
present of the green someone makes,
—maybe I'd **** to be famous one day.

My chest feels burdensome,
and too heavy for me to cough.
As I put an end to myself with scotch,
as nothing would sit well with me like a
darker brown spot on an already brown couch.

Blue, red, purple,
Gold, black, green,
Scotch and brown
—seems I'm all of these colours going around.

Knowing the ways to make you drip like honey,
I find myself lost in thought, afraid to dive
too deep and drown in the sea of emotions
you stir within me.

Every day feels like swimming in a bittersweet pool,
your taste lingering on my tongue and your
touch leaving a blush on my cheeks.
Your sweetness is both a blessing and a curse,
triggering a desire that I struggle to contain.

But I know better than to play with fire, toying
with the knots in your hair and risking getting burned.
So I treat you with the utmost grace,
saying my prayers before every meal, savoring
the rush of your heartbeat as I feast on your love.

"Eat your heart out,"
they say, and I do, with every fiber of my being.

The past is a memory
The present, a moment
And the future will always be an idea...

So let's make memories, just to forget about them
at a moments notice;
As we'll think of an idea towards our futures.

[VERSE 1]

Not too sure that I wanna fall in love again.
Just too scared to lose myself in lost and found before I hit the ground, Baby I'm just going insane.
So many ups downs like climbing stairs
Too many heart breaks and even more love affairs.
But Baby I'm in love...

[VERSE 2]

Not sure if I could get out bed and have my breakfast always out there,
But I'm so out of breathe, lately I've being run out Air.
Not sure if I could keep my eye off another pretty girl that passes me by,
But all for you the piece ain't enough I need the whole **** Pie.
Cause Baby I'm in love.

[VERSE 3]

Not sure if I could share my blanket and this comfy bed
But I may be alive, still without you I'm feeling so Dead.
Hate to say goodbye but even more when I'm already missing you
Could we be stuck forever if I bought us some glue.
Baby I'm in love.

[CHORUS ]

Cause, baby we may be different but I'm loving you the same
And ****** girl I'm in love with that name
And if they say I'm crazy in love well then I'm going insane
If I'm singing love songs all through summer then I'll be also singing in the rain.
Cause I don't have to be rude
Too many pretty girls in this world acting so crude
Better yet they just put me in a bad mood
If could marry you right now you know that I would.
Cause all you have me feeling is feeling so **** good.
Lining up my smile just to set me in the right mood.
And I'm love with You and only You.


[VERSE 4]

Baby I'm in love with just You,
So many pretty girls all out in the world but those like you will be so Few.
So turn the radio on to that love song
And baby we could sing along
And baby, please don't be so rude
Cause this world is just so crude.
But Baby, I'm in love with that name
We might be so different but I'm still loving you the Same.
God must of had a lot to be blessed onto you
Cause your beauty got me so impressed onto You.
Throwing me kisses to keep in my back pocket
Till the day you stopped, how I almost lost it.
Still sending me kisses through the phone,
Especially when I'm without you, feeling so cold and alone.

[VERSE 5]

So kiss me right now, how I need you right now
Wish I could explain it, but I just don't know how.
Still thinking hard about you no wonder my head hurts
Especially imagining those legs in all Blue those skirts.
And if feeling old I have you to help me feel brand new
If I said I would die for you would you take as True.


[CHORUS]

Cause, baby we may be different but I'm loving you the same,
And ****** girl I'm in love with that name.
And if they say I'm crazy in love well then I'm going insane
If I'm singing love songs all through summer then I'll be also singing in the rain.
Cause I don't have to be rude
Too many pretty girls in this world acting so crude
Better yet they just put me in a bad mood
If could marry you right now you know that I would.
Cause all you have me feeling is feeling so **** good.
Lining up my smile just to set me in the right mood.
And I'm love with You and only You.

[BRIDGE]

Darling your Mine
There's wasting no time, aged to my taste you're my tall glass of wine.
And Baby you're Mine
There's no need to be wasting no time cause you're all on mind and too many thoughts of how that waist of yours is all but so fine.

[CHORUS]

Cause, baby we may be different but I'm loving you the same,
And ****** girl I'm in love with that name.
And if they say I'm crazy in love well then I'm going insane
If I'm singing love songs all through summer then I'll be also singing in the rain.
Cause I don't have to be rude
Too many pretty girls in this world acting so crude
Better yet they just put me in a bad mood
If could marry you right now you know that I would.
Cause all you have me feeling is feeling so **** good.
Lining up my smile just to set me in the right mood.
And I'm love with You and only You.

Joyful jackets – wrap me in warmth, shielding me
from being worn out by life; my upside-down smile
has flipped.

Those puffy cheeks of the girl I kiss, radiating heat;
makes me feel even warmer – just like a cosy puffy
jacket.

Broken bones upon empty sheets, fighting cursing enemies, trying so hard to survive.
Trying to find peace amongst all this chaos, yet journeying in this crazy life and along for it's much crazier ride.
Tell me the time so I can set my watch to match the time for me to live again,
Give me a dollar and a dream to lay a foundation on, but our end result of the future will never be the same.

Oh Life:
the occasion, that occasionally
  some leave the event too soon.

Oh Life:
the maze, searching for a way,
  yet dazed and confused.

With limited days, and how best to use.

Oh Life:
the pillow, looking for support and comfort,
  Often in the living, but mostly found
   when you're at rest.

Oh Life:
the boot, hard kicking your backside,
   trailing your baggage in the back.

With just the few luck you keep in a sack.

Oh Life:
isn't all that it seems.
  The closest you are to reality,
   pulls you away from your dreams.

Nine out of the ten times, you're a ten
of having the worst time.

Still,
you can't afford to waste time,
  even with the girls you call dimes.

No penny for thought; could ever
pay the intellect of a great mind.

But all can **** time.

Oh Life:
  is time, but never enough of it.  
  
Life is but the time you can make of it.
  Precious is life; but precious is time.

Spend both well.

As our tears fall,
so does the rain.
All things washed away
once fallen onto the ground.
All people do fall,
waiting for the hurt to be washed away.

What comes next,
new growth in the new season.
Freshness of new life reborn,
you can't ask for anything more.
Look to the skies as you behold,
the falling rains that can restore.

What once was dried up,
becomes fulfilled again.
Things once fallen,
have come now to rise.
Look with your eyes,
see the beauty of what falls from the skies.

All the purple flowers I've
seen, sort of relate to purple eyes
Cos my vision was obscene,
obscure, insecure, and vaguely pure

Still I had seen a pretty flower,
a flower that pretty much stole my
words. She had a bite to her:

  So till death do me part, to have and to hold
this pretty flower, pretty much came with thorns

Don't misread me for spelling this out to you,
as the sun and moon will eventually cry together
That will be the warmest winter I ever know.

If I don't wake up tomorrow,
I'm sleeping through my pain,
Soaked up in my tears,
drowning in that pain
So if I die, my death is only for other people to live.

I gave my all, but only got little,
I feared you've stopped listening to my prayers so you can listen to the others.
I questioned love, and you're still yet to answer,
so care for me last, as you care more for the people in my life first.
And if you hate me for these selfish motives, I ask you to forgive.


My own opinion has never lead me to anything better,
so I hardly think for myself when I mostly think for others.

I only want to be heard,
but everyone I know takes for granted my every word.

I just wish to be seen,
but nobody sees what I really mean.

I waited on your timing,
but time has run out for me.

So how do I trust when that trust is empty,
how do I ask when you never listen
And how do I live,
if living is only a slow walk to death

How do I dream when all my dreams are just my constant nightmares
And how do I follow the rules of my wake, while looking for a place to escape


Surely it's so hard to keep yourself together,
sunny outside but living under the weather.
Overcast, overcast, overcast,
I know my future depression has it's rein within the past.

I know I should care more about myself,
but I'm so stuck on loving everybody else.

What's left for me if I leave my heart out for you all to pick in
To stay above high waters of every relationship,
but I know I'm just a sinking ship

Titanic, Titanic, Titanic.

If love was once mine,
I'm  convinced I never had it.

Given all to my friends after I divided it with my family
As I'm crazy enough to enjoy the sense of pure insanity.

The man everyone looks to lean on,
who could write a picture for you all to dream from.

Some days I hate it, but do it all out of love,
So often I fake it, so let me end up weightless inside of being wakeless

There’s a lowly eye
Of this Mr Lonely guy
He has a purple eye
Carrying purple tears whenever he cries

Bit the wings of a fly
Wore a serpent tail as a tie
And stole the clock of Father time
Dreamt of switching the bulb, when the sun loses its shine

He’s cocky outside
But an injured bird inside
He’d pry your eyes to melt your pride
And loved to sue any reason for suicide

As the mask only comes off at night
Slow dances with depression—what a lonely life

As her lips met mine,
a spark ignited within me.
Her kiss was like a flame that
burned with passion and desire.
I couldn't get enough of her taste, even though
it left my tongue sore and bruised.

She was my solace in times of loneliness,
a beautiful presence that made everything feel right.
But now, as I sit here alone, I can't help but wonder
why that lovely kiss ended in such a lonely way.
As if I could clear my throat more to clear my brain,
I can't clear enough of our messages to clear her name.

My heart aches with confusion and longing,
and tears stream down my face as
I try to make sense of it all.

Late night train, journey on my own.
Going nowhere far too fast all on a loan. Empty heart leaving tonight all alone.

A long railway to the edge of nowhere
But not that afraid to get there,
Packed loads of bags to perhaps stay there.

Just till I maybe find my feet,
Picking through empty rows to find my seat.
Picking through black coals to add flame to my cold heart's empty heat.

Following the lines of the track like snorting through straight lines of *******.
Ain't afraid of dying tonight, but just let you all remember my small name.

In the distance of the track
My mind is refusing to look back.
A broken past where I lost the many pieces,
Dreaming for so long on only a few wishes.

Ticket to happiness where shall you take me,
At least to a paradise, a place of my heartbeat.
Just let me be,
Let me free.

Ticket of happiness where do we go,
Ain't afraid of what awaits in the distance, just take me through the journey a little bit slow.