i wonder why i disappear
texts unread
missed calls
half-written messages
cancelled plans
faded into the crowd

i sleep in too late
i don’t sleep at all
because it’s easier to explain those things
than the heaviness in my chest

but the thing is,
they don’t go unnoticed

I want to lay in the hands of death,
as my last breath fogs
the windows.

I want to be loved,
but love is a complicated thing
and I don’t know
if I deserve it.

I am tired.

Still,
I have decided
I want to live.

Cada vez que veo tu rostro me parece ver un bello atardecer.
Cada vez que veo tu rostro me parece ver la inmensidad de un campo lleno de flores.
Hermoso en cada rincon , pacífico en sensación y colorido en todo su esplendor.
Cada vez que veo tu rostro me parece ver un universo de estrellas, capaz de irradiar luz y calidez a quienes lo rodean.
Cada vez que veo tu rostro veo la obra más majestuosa del mejor museo del planeta.
Cada vez que veo tus rostro veo aquello que deseo por siempre admirar.
Cada vez que veo tu rostro veo lo que en mi vida por siempre más voy a amar.

I want to
go right
And pick
the perennial
flowers
That cover
what the eye
can see,
I’ve seen
the Fields
of Indian blankets
And spider lilies

I think
of myself
laying Down
and resting
my eyes
As the sunset
showers me
With color
and despair.

Today
I’ll go left
instead
To see
what waits
For me there.

I put the seats
back in my
beat up Ford Fiesta.
Four drinks in,
my first bottle of soju,
a great night
with a new friend.

Something’s shifting,
healing,
and I’m scared
of what might come.
I tremble,
cold biting my skin
Like fire ants,
a lit cigarette
flares on my nails
with every drag.

Leaves are falling.

On a cold Thursday morning,
I sit outside, bundled up
in layers upon layers,
battling the weather.

Forty degrees is a heavy burden
for a man raised under an island sun,
beside hibiscus and ixoras.

It eats at my hands,
and feathers my nose.

What a blessing
to feel,
to be alive.

Oh, but what a curse.