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Rae May 2018
I was a young girl
Curious and naive
He was a older boy
Full of mystery
His stare was intense
His approach was straight forward
I never met such a guy
He was interested in me
He told no lies
I was interested in him
But I averted my gaze
I made up excuses
And stayed in denial
After all I was foolish
A young selfish child
I hid behind my disguise
Ignored my feelings because of my high maintenance  pride .
He didn’t give up
He pursued me for a while
But like all crushes slowly fade away
I was no longer the center of his attention
I knew his intentions
But I just pushed him away
I didn’t own up to my feelings
I gave him a hard time
If I told him I loved him
Then I wouldn’t feel this way        So empty.
So alone .
So abandoned.
This was four years ago . If you love somebody tell them or you might regret it .
Rae May 2018
Hope is a 4 letter word
But so is Pray .
Which one you think is more powerful?
  May 2018 Rae
Carolina
The mind of that girl is a pain sanctuary
whose aching decreases due to a world that's imaginary.

From home she goes out to get away,
and all those nights in stranges she relies.

The soft morning breeze
tenderly dries the tears in her cheeks,
and childishly it peeks
through her bloodshot eyes looking for a trace of peace.

Nobody could really tell
if she, bones and flesh, is still alive
or if she's just a wanderer ghost.
Probably the only one of her kind.

The dark circles under her eyes
are a proof of the restless crying nights.

The tangled auburn messed up hair
tells she didn't sleep at home, but no one cares.

Picking up flowers on the way back home,
humming songs that once made her feel whole.
She rests for a few hours and once awake she grabs a pen,
she writes down a poem before she gets drunk again.

Somehow she finds calm
in the simple things of life,
and she tries not to think
about the coldness in her eyes.

Barely getting through, day by day,
trying not to be absorbed by all the grey.

Amassing countless heartbeats
to the final point where life she quits.
Rae May 2018
I thought I was done crying
I thought the feelings had finally fade
But why do I find my tears falling
I wish this pain would just go away
My heart finally settled but now is calling back out your name
Why did you send that message
Why did you make that call
Why is that you still have this power over me
We didn’t just meet ,
Our souls intertwined
That’s why this hurt so much
That’s why my tears won’t stop
That’s why I feel like throwing up
All the time and feelings I  invested in being yours
Love was our was link
But love wasn’t enough to save us .
Rae May 2018
It started out as heaven
so how did it turn into hell
We knew dysfunctional oh too well
We had many differences
Too much to count
We had many arguments
Too much to count
We both would yell
We both would fuss
We both would cry
Then look at each other and ask Why
How
When
Did it fall apart again ?
You were my twin
We were both each other beginning and end
We would amend and start over
Put ill feelings in the past
Try to salvage this thing we called a relationship
Make  it last
But like a broken record playing over and over again
Its the same result
We always crashed  
Miserably
The fool couple
Both hotheaded
Both sensitive
Both aggressive
I was selfish
He was possessive
Yes quite a duo
It was an impossible love from the start .
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