How can you hate when I have learned to love someone as much as I love you?
You were the one who taught me how to love in the first place.
Why does the gender of who fits my soul hurt yours so badly?
How can you look in my eyes and not find me?
I have found happiness and home in the arms of a woman and that makes me no longer your daughter.
You're ready to hand me over to the devil because I held something from you for so long.
I cannot change for you, I cannot be someone that you wish I was because the love I found is more important than the betray you have served me.
Thank you for everything but I will not tear myself apart to claim a spot in your heart.
You said your love was forever but forever doesn't exist.
I'll send you the wedding invitation, your spot will be saved.
Find it in your heart to love me again because you'll have my love forever,
i'm not so concerned with things that do not effect me.
Your home was once my home so i'll forever welcome you to mine.
a.n.F

Although you are not home,
everyday is littered with traces of you.
I'm sorry that I missed the phones calls and i'm sorry I cannot write.
All these years you have been gone have ironically filled my empty heart with the greatest of sorrows.
Now these years are ending and everyday there is hope that i'll see you tomorrow.
I'm not here to justify or to make right of what has gone so wrong.
Alright, fair enough, we weren't given the best life but now it's all we've got.
I thought I needed you all along but now I truely need you.
I need you to be better and I need my healthy brother.
Now there's only taking your meds and no more playing pretend because travis just as much as you need us, we need you home.

I CAN'T FIND WHAT ONCE MADE ME WANT TO WRITE
It was an inspiration that just whirled up out of thin air, went through my ears, and bam!
There it was, a beautiful piece of sadness describing the most tragic heartbreak anyone could image out of just one simple thought of agony.
I had this lighting speed of easiness, the words came so rapidly, I was screaming in the quietest form.
Now I skip to all sides of the conversation, to each bulletpoint in the topic, and my second guessing makes me write maybe too many times.
I want to write each letter with a dignity and a form I didn't erase.
The words will have already wrote themselves without a re-reading to know if it makes sense.
For ***** sake, no more lists.
I want a story of what has been forgotten by my finger tips.

My heart hasn't been hurting, i've spent all this time healing.
The blood doesn't pool onto the floor anymore and there are no more risks at dieing in the hands of oneself
So is that the reason why poetry is no longer a language I speak?
I thought I was fluent.

I'm gonna tell you about the girl of my dreams,
how each ******* smile pulls my heart strings into knots
and fills my tummy with butterflies, moths, and bees.
The way her head dips into my chest
is the thought in my head on lonely cold nights
when I keep waking up at two in the morning.
Safety, home, mine
are all words that were so foreign until her arms hooked around my waist.
Each day is a talk of future and memory and all of the inbetweens mixed.
Through the tears and the arguments, there is still cracked smiles that scream
"This is my baby"
That she is, so precious and I am so unworthy.
For the working together, the movie cuddles, the secret kisses, the smiley hand holding, the effort, the given happiness, I am so grateful.
She is my whole, my one, my heart, my soul.
I've found what my light has been searching for
and she is goodness, remembrance, astonishment, caring, embracement