TW: ed


She hates the way she looks
Big thighs
Smart mind
Or so she’s told

But in truth
She counts every calorie
And plays with her food
Because it adds to the number on the scale

She knows she’s sick
But at least she’s skinny

So she’ll keep skipping meals
And working out far too much
But all she’s thinking is
“At least I’m skinny”

Because in truth
She hates her body
And her mind does too
So she’ll  keep skipping meals
And working out far too much

Because at least that way
The number on the scale doesn’t go up

I never understood the talk of a name echoing in one’s brain

Until now
when I saw you with her
my whole world came crashing down
Only one thought in my brain
More like a voice screaming your name

It echoed
Haunted for days
But as I listen closer
I realize I was the one screaming
And you were the one walking away

True love? Me?
Never because that’s just in fairytales
But I think that I found my Prince charming
So Maybe, just maybe
Here’s to believing

Where shall we go?
Maybe into the sunset
or in your safe arms

Because I think I found someone
that would love me like in the movies

Because you’re …
My dreams woven in Stardust
And the one ill chase
Like Storm chasers chase tornadoes

Because maybe, just maybe
Our story
Is like movies and fairytales
Full of love
Yet to be discovered

Life was cruel and so were you
Full of lies
And fractured promises
Never to be fulfilled

Our love built on beautiful lies
a perfectly ruined thing
Within our lives

I was just another thing you outgrew
One of the treasures to destined to shatter
And never to bloom

All that’s left is:
Broken trust and white lies

A ticking clock
That has since stopped
With only lost chances
And lies in the dark

It’s not one man running at the speed of light
But a group of them
none of them knowing the other

We know it’s not all men
But every woman has a story
How come?

You put 100 women in a room
97 will fall unlucky
HOW  come?

It’s not all men
But it’s some
And it is every women
When does it end?

It never ends
HOW Come?

Don’t dress provocatively they said
And yet even your not
It still happens
They ignore the no’s and the pleas
To continue for their gain
HOW COME!

so the fight continues

History
Our history comes from memories
So brick by brick
I’ll build ours

And even if you leave
I’ll live in the ruins
Never fleeting

So the love remains
And the story will always be told
It’ll stay bold
Forever told
Never dying

I love my parents
But I do not wish to become them
The hiding of feelings
Until they blow

Constant fighting
And staying for the kid

But I found young love
Just like they did
Yet I do not love properly
I scream and yell
And hide my feelings

I know I’m a lot to love
At least that’s what I was shown
So loving him
Is easy and yet so hard

I don’t know how to love
So I’m just like them
In so many ways

I try so hard to be…
Different
But  I still hide my feelings
In fear of the argument

He sent my heart drumming
An unknowing feeling
Rather a long forgotten one
One of love

My body in a grave
Yet my heart wonders free
Looking for you

And once I’ve found you
Our hearts dance
Feeling like a kiss in heaven

You’re probably leave
But when you do…
Say goodbye
And let it be on our terms
Not just yours

Because I’m falling in love with you
Something I rarely do
So when you decide you’re done
Say goodbye

And ill let you walk away
But I’ll never let go
Because you got to know me
And not for the physical
You saw within me

11 months clean
And yet
I think about it all the time

The blade…
The relief I felt
The thoughts linger
Longer than the scars

My scars faded
Thats the real trigger
I know I’ll regret it
But yet I still…
Crave it

But i can’t
I shouldn’t
But the thoughts
They still linger

It’s a fight
Yes or no
No…
But that’s the choice
That has to be made

Life is full of many chapters in one big story
You however
Your part in the story was short lived
Yet your existence has not been
Your words are the things that keep me up at night
Just thinking
Thinking that if one thing was different
Our story would have been a complete other

The poets wrote of love
Something I could only dream of
I never believe in its existence

But not with him
Everything feels different
Like I’m in a dream
Or maybe a fairytale  

When I look into his eyes
I realize
He loves me like I do him
A feeling I can’t lose

Because now I’m one of the poets
Who writes of love
And I understand now
Why all the ones before did

You’re probably leave
But when you do…
Say goodbye
And let it be on our terms
Not just yours

Because I’m falling in love with you
Something I rarely do
So when you decide you’re done
Say goodbye

And ill let you walk away
But I’ll never let go
Because you got to know me
And not for the physical
You saw within me