You can't destroy a monser
Without becoming one

You are my muse
Thank you for being so horrid
That I have something to write about

In that moment of weakness
I relapsed
I forgave
And was destroyed
Again

In your ash tray
Will remain long after
Evey other part of me has perished.

I thought of you
In the pale glow of the early moon
My fingers melted into every inch
Until my body shook
And my legs quivered
My jaw tensed
As my body sighed
Then all at once the bliss
Poured over me like crashing waves
Wave after wave of inocence lost
Drifting into the sweetest dreams

I smoked enough
Of that cursed plant
To know that you
Are indeed the Devil

She has bad idea
Written all over her smile

I cant wait
To kiss it off

I've never written a happy poem
I don't see how people can
How could you ever spill your highs?
Or rip open the tenderness of your heart?
How do you expose something so valued?

I write poems from the darkness
The cold, damp place form which I dwell
I hold my warmth close, I'd never let it out
I'd hate to expose myself, and the light within

I treasure my own, rare happy
I don't share what is mine, then it gets broken
And I am already broken and worn,
So why share the light I have left?

Hard love rips you apart
And leaves you for dead

Passionate love eat you up
And boils you to moosh

False love cuts deep
And lets you bleed out

True love glides right in
And saves you from all the others

I'll need replacements
within the next few years.
Not organs
or other tissues
people can donate.
No, I'll need
entirely new pieces
in seven to ten years.
I'll only be thirty or so-
and more or less
half bionic.
The news is cold,
some would say cold as steel.
Those people joke
in good humor
trying to dull my fears.
My worst ones.
Those mainly being-

Will my everything still find me attractive
-even after surgery?

Will my kids even think I'll be human?
-my legs wont be made of biological material

When half of me is prosthetic
-will I even love myself?

Its all the same, no matter where you go. You still have people jumping off of bridges and putting bullets in their throats. Nothing is ever going to change. And me, thinking I could make a difference, isn't going to change ****. I couldn't do a **** thing. I've been living in a wonderland. But you know what, I’m not Alice. There is nothing at the end of my rabbit hole but the abandoned hopes and dreams of a broken girl.

I am a hypocrite down to my core
So forgive me for trying to save you
When I never could save myself

He's the kind of simple
The kind to fall in love with all at once
Slow at first
Reaching closer to the apex
From there it's all at once
A snowball
Humor yourself and call it dominos
But I couldn't
It's not a chain reaction between several pieces
It's a mix of his gentle smile
Or the words which bleed his emotion
These simple reasons make me fall
Only me
Because it's only
All for me

and oh how the wind crashes and the waves hit her heart. they leave it cold and worn on the outside. yet in the inside she can keep a small fire going. she can stand and take all the abuse she has to and yet still remains positive. she can make rain clouds disappear but not her own storm. she is amazing and strong and the world keeps pushing down. she keeps her mind free yet filled with the worst. she looks for the light knowing she will only find darkness. she wants so deeply to see the truth and every time she sees whats there something fake is shoved down her throat.

oh the world is cold and hard. all like the mocking mirror she looks into. she looks for the smile and she finds the shadow. she looks for the life but yet finds empty space. her tears hit the floor and form a new surface for her to look at. that's where she can see the unkempt hate she had. the hate for the reflection she saw in the mocking mirror. no longer would see look at the space and see joy for all was on her level. She would then on look to the stars and the moon, for they are above her and they can shine in the darkness.

Standing in a city of shadows
My back to the wind
All is looking up

The looming can't last
The spirits will dissipate
And I will be left to stand alone

In this sardonic city of shadows

Your life is poison
And your soul is dark

Your existence is toxic
And your presence is addicting

Your actions are magnetic
And your eyes are maddening

You're just the one I need
And you're the only drug I'll take

And she was the darkness
made of all things horrid
grown in the sickest of places

And out of her mouth crawled a snake
born of lies and disease
hatched from rancor and despair

And once caught in her path
there was no way out
I was trapped with myself forever

Mother,

I feel I should apologize
After hearing horror stories
of womb to street stories
I realize
You're not the monster of the world
You are just the monster
of my world
No less deadly,
just only to me.
You're harmless as a fly to the rest.
You've never run home
with needles full of ******,
sorry Kay.
But many times
you have sashayed home
with sharpened words
ready to rip apart my flesh.
You didn't abandon me in the dark
and make me scavenge for food
before men in suits took me away
...I'm really sorry Kay.
But often you ignored my pleas for help,
as I begged you to save me from myself.

But now we're here,
and I'm still the victim
       your victim.
Yet, I want to apologize to you, and I'm sorry
for believing you were a monster
when you never deserved that title either.
You're just a bully.
And I'm sorry I let you get to me.

Regards,
Given Name

Know that at 11:40 pm
I could have destroyed you
I could have killed you one last time
I didn't because some part of me loved you
But at 11:43 pm you killed that last part
You destroyed a tiny piece of me
Shows how much you love me

A new comer steps into the ring
He needs not sweat
The strength form his stance can carry this fight
With the burning confidence of a hundred suns
He will prevail over the others
New to the circuit
But all ready at the top
He's a curious creature
Not like the others
He looks and listens and waits
He is patient and calm
Swift and steady
Each victory ding of the bell
More pieces of my heart go to his title

Can someone
Who drinks this much
Still be considered a person?

The path of self-destruction
Has never before
Tasted so bitter-sweet

Snakes spread from her veins
Spewing poison along the ground
It glows at night
This attracts people who ignore the toxin
Only looking for an excuse to call it beauty

She is evil
Only for her ignorance
So caught up in being heard
Willing to **** for even a fleeting moment
to maybe shove a word in

What does she say?
War she whispers
People taking to the poison gasp
But listen
This is where the danger begins
Brain washing occurs to comfort the watchers
They go along with her

No one watches the outside  
or the other people
So consumed in the ego and tainted beliefs
They claim justice yet set fires
and inevitably **** the innocent
She laughs and her snakes return
She needs them no longer
Her toxin-pumped army will do her work

You're Twisted
and Sick

You're Doubtful
and Hopeless

You're Wicked
and Evil

You're Facetious
and Rude

You're Everything
I am not

I'm fine with the way I am
I'm happy with me

All of the broken bits of myself
The leftovers of perfection
Torn down by those I loved

All together burn bright
To make me who I am

And I love her

I'm falling for you
And my heart cant take it

Girl, I'd ask you to stay
But I know you'd break it

I'd give you my heart
Straight from the start
But that's not smart

You're the girl
With the lovely face

And I want to hold you
In my tight embrace

Far sweeter than the ***** I chug
You sting less than any drug
Yet on my chest you slightly tug

With a smile like that
Girl, you're the devil

All I can do
Is sit here and revel

Learn to fall in love with who you are
Instead of who you think you're meant to be

When it happened
I was sitting in the corner of a busy cafe
Reading- nothing really in particular
But the song is the important cue here.

I heard it at first
Distant and faint like butterfly wings
Then it grew louder
Blame it on the night
My eyes rose from the pages
Dont blame it on me
Faintly into my ears

It's sad really
I wanted to steady myself up
Push the book into the seat
and cross the room as our eyes locked
Until we were standing breaths apart

But when I looked up
I knew **** well you wouldn't be there
Why would you be?
And I wondered
As my mind still made the image of us dancing in the middle of this coffee shop seem more like a reality

Would we ever dance again?
Maybe some day, of course not now, but distant
Perhaps in different lifetimes
However; most likely never at all

Being persecuted for a crime you didn't commit
What a laugh
What a joke

Left alone for all the scores you did settle
Yet only be touched for one
Not done by your own hands

I see you crying
Counting every tear as it rolls down
and pools in the dirt

You say all these words
None of them string into a sentence
That I haven't already heard

Trembling-
your voice isn't the only thing shaking
But I'll say it anyway

It's true, crocodiles produce tears.
They can actually cry.

You looked at me confused.
Would you have given me
the same look
if you knew what I would say next?

But the tears aren't formed from remorse
or sadness
They're formed simply to clean out their eyes.
So as I watch you, I'm questioning,
How many crocodile tears your shedding now
-here, for me?

---

We drink
To forget
The Sins we let ourselves
Commit

My greatest enemy-
      Has always been myself

No other demon could-
      Smile so sweetly

Not even the Devil would-
      Laugh so openly

It wasn't too long ago that I thought I'd never forget your face
Now the color of your eyes have faded
And the soft tingle of your lips on mine has pasted
I can't recall the way you smell
Only faintly can I ponder your smile
As the days pass by
I wonder how much you'll forget of me

People can't be afraid of heights
-they're afraid of falling
Or maybe it's the fear of hitting the ground
Love is this way too

No one is afraid of the height
The soft touch of fingers melding
Or the lingering moments after the kiss
Nor do people fear the falling

Not a soul would wish away those falling moments
Of the first time your sentence was also hers
Like the moments just a glance can change fate
Falling so deep into the little glances at something greater

With love we don't fear the falling or the heights
We fear the stiff reality at the bottom
Those fearful of love know the pain of hitting the ground

The pain of the fight that lasted three days
Or when words were not loud enough so the doors broke the silence
But mainly the pain of the frostbite setting in
From the spot where they no longer reside

Poor soul, grieving is all you’re bound to know
You burn the weak bridges of distant bays
In the barren shade you will never grow


You’ll reap the rotted seeds of all you sow
Doomed to be alone for the coming days
Poor soul, grieving is all you’re bound to know


Neither pain, nor pleasure, will make you glow
Stuck forever in your pitiful ways
In the barren shade you will never grow


Through evil, twisted words and forked-tongue woe
Do your everything to push them away
Poor soul, grieving is all you’re bound to know


In the haste of fright, you condemn your foe
Care little to not for the truth they say
In the barren shade you will never grow


I’d give you my heart for this final blow
Even for the fruit of love you’d not stay
Poor soul, grieving is all you’re bound to know
In the barren shade you will never grow

Tú y yo fueron lo mismo
Pero
La boca de tus habló mentiras
Y tus corazón es no blanco
Es ***** y mucho frío
Tus ojos esta muerto
Igual que tú para mí

Only after you stop breathing does drowning get easier
The body stops writhing
The lungs stop gasping
And the heart, she stops beating

The water carries away the empty cage
But the soul will go on
It will continue to undulate through the water

Living will be harder
But existing will become easier...
....once you stop breathing

Even all I had
Wasn't good enough
I would have ripped out my own heart
Just for a touch of yours
I would have melted my soul
If only to taste yours
I wanted to feel something so bad
I guess it made you feel nothing

We were never in love
You wouldn't allow it
And even if I had fallen
You wouldn't have caught me
But oh dear God
How I could have fallen

And here I thought you were the snow
The cold, the slick, and the iced over
But I guess for once I was wrong
You were far from the snow
You were the warmth
The heat in everything high and low
And here I thought you were the snow

The magic of this world
Can be found with each rotation
A bad day ends at the dawn each day
and resets
Even with such an ability to rewind
To start over
Tell me,
Why do you feel the need to live there?
In the past.
Love and live with us here
Where each day is a new beginning
And every breeze can carry you
To something new

The emptiness of nothingness
Cannot be fathomed
Until the moment you become
Used up
And worthless

And in that day I had fallen I love
It was the beginning of the end
But that much I didn't know
I remained nïeve and unaware
The feelings were all new to me
I had let mysel be consumed
Totally submerged in passion

It was in the mirror that I saw
All of my greatest fears lurked behind
I was blinded by my heart
Lust was seaping from his smile
I fell in love that day
But he did not

That night I lay beside him
With the sheers beside me
I cut it all
His hair
His pride
And little be known
His heart

For the fears I had seen
We're just that- fears
Insecurity was the weapon of the heart
But yet he stayed
Told me that all was right

In that instant I fell in love
With a man who had nothing
Yet held me as everything
He fell in love with a broken girl
Who made him whole

As you rip out my throat
so I know you did it with passion

The rush will send my heart fluttering
and the rubies will pour down my hands

Death which comes from grace
is more like a dance
than a battle
So I will no longer fight you

Oh if I only had the words to say. The words to use so you would stay. I love you and I know that feeling will never stray. Can’t you just take a moment to look into my eyes and see the grey? I need you in my life, I need you be here to sleep with me.
I need your warm arms to hold me close during the dark and late nights. I need you for all the times the storm clouds roll in . I need your love to be with me always. I need your body and your soul. Please stay with me. Don’t go, and don't fret.

I don't wanna come down
I don't wanna land
If being in the clouds
Gets me away from you
Why would I ever
Come back down?

I want to love you again
But tonight my lust is stronger
So that will have to do for now

Pin me down against the silky bed
Forever keep me locked inside this place
The rhythm of your name within my head
I want to feel the passion in your grace

Sing to me such sweet nothings of the heart
We wait for morning light to take us there
Lie to me- say we'll never fall apart
The way we love, they say it isn't fair

The mighty dawn approaches hold me near
In the cold you're the heat I want to find
Wipe away all the hardships and the fear
Maybe the two of us are intertwined

****** my heart and make me feel so funny
In your heart forever as your Bunny

It's a pity
That my lovely hopeless heart
is eternally
Dammed
To a sinful and wondering
Body

I really wish I could forget the taste
Of salty tears on your quite perfect lips
I admit I miss your hands on my waist
Each night alone is a total eclipse