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Noxx Mar 2017
You've such a beautiful smile

you give it to everyone you see

I wish  you'd keep one for yourself though.

but no matter.

You can have my smile for today

and for every tomorrow to come.
Luv u mama
Noxx Mar 2017
I was born with glass in my veins

Let the shards out through slits in the wrist

But somehow a few found its way to my heart

With equal part pain and equal part promise

To bring me an end in the most colorful of fashions

A rush of bright red out the chest

And a flush of pale white in my face

I wondered what it was like to love

But then again, I guess I always knew
Noxx Mar 2017
Some poems I write on paper
Paper I'll burn later that day
So that all that'll remain
Are the beats in my chest
And the aches in my head

Some poems i hold on to
So that after years from writing
When memory fails
And hearts beat to different tunes
All that'll remain
Are words inked on paper.
Noxx Aug 2016
They tell me lightning won't strike me again
but then again, when
have hollow words wavered will
wrought of steel,
we'll feel fire
formed from dying sparks
fading hearts, long walks in parks
darkness drenched in rain
maybe it could numb the pain
it would, it should, maybe
it could do good
mended masks on burnt faces
found in places showing stolid smiles
sewn under tired eyes
hours fly, farewells, goodbyes
cut ties
but
I swear to you
lightning will strike me again
and all I'm wondering is
when
Still hoping for my lightning
Noxx Jun 2016
It's not that I'm not loved.

I am. I know

I know that I have friends and family who love me

and I know that even you, darling, love me. I guess..

But why is it that....

I am never loved the most?

I know, spare me the lecture, I know that I am loved

but I also know that time spent with me is stagnant air

times spent with me are cancelled plans with another

times spent with me are a rain check for another day

times spent with me are placeholder names on a table

times spend with me are proxy representatives

time spent with me is pepsi because they ran out of coke


I know I know I am not the sun

I am not the light in anyones lives

and I am certainly not the center.

I do not stand out

I do not distinguish myself

I am not outstanding

and I am barely scratching the threshold

of just "ok"


I know that you loved me

and maybe you still do.

and I really hope you're happy with her now

but know I still wonder why

why is it you loved her more.
Noxx May 2016
Do you remember
last year when you thought I'd become an alcoholic
you thought that I'd kissed a bottle more than I did you
thought that the heat and the sting felt better to me
than the warmth and comfort of your touch
you thought that I'd get lost in loops of days and nights
of bottles and flasks and you feared
with all your heart that you would lose me

So I stopped drinking

and then you left.
and you took with you all the best parts of me
all the parts that mattered, that kept me sane
left with you in the back pocket of your light blue jean shorts
tucked inside an envelope labeled "Stable"
after you left it all went rickety
like shabby old doors barring paths to rooms
I hoped would never open again
rooms that kept behind the demons you helped me hide
demons we knew we couldn't destroy so we learned to live
with them just sitting, listening. Waiting. and now you've left
they're breaking out. In hordes they come
screaming out pent up curses waiting for my blood
and the is no beverage strong enough that
can take your taste from my lips
or numb my fingers from your touch
or blur my mind from your memory
or burn your soul from my body
now there is only me
and this empty bottle
you took from me everything
Noxx May 2016
You came at night
where no light ever survived
from the night you arrived
but no you werent blind
you had a spark lit in side
and it let you see
beneath my sea
and crashing waves
graves that filled my head
all of them wishing me dead
graves of my words and dreams
you shared your light in beams
like streams into my sea
see, you never were the pain
you were all I stood to gain
and again and again
since I was ten
just a page without a pen
then with lighting
you came as rain
you were all that kept me sane
but all was sadly lost
cause to be sane one heart's the cost
wow so many poems
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