you were my forever once
until you ripped it from my hands
and gave it to someone else

now even joy has your fingerprints on it

i am loved again
by someone who deserves me

but when they say marriage
i hear your voice not theirs

my body remembers
what my mind begs to forget

i want to say yes
without thinking of you

i want to wear white
without feeling like a ghost inside it

how do i love someone new
with a heart you made afraid of love itself

i know you do not deserve this power

but trauma is not about who deserves what
it is about what remains after the fire

you stole my light
when i told you to stop
and you ignored my red light
and kept going
like my body was undiscovered land
and you were a colonizer.
perhaps my asking you to stop
turned you on
made you hungry.
you looked at me with your hungry eyes
like i was fresh meat
for you to take and have for yourself
ignoring my stop signs
cries
screams
because i am nothing more
than an object to you
made for your manipulation and pleasures.

you werent wrong to believe in love
you were just wrong to believe it had no teeth