Creativity (Midnight Freewrite)

Once upon a time, my mind was blank.
Could I finally be sane
from the feelings ingrained in my so often flooded mind?
This ocean pushes the small grains of sand as though keeping
them all at one place,
the inability to crawl back to where they once were.
Accompanied by many,
yet purified throughout the constant washing due
to clashing of waves.
The stubborn rocks give in,
once enormous,
they've become wearisome from being pummeled over and over by the ruthless ripples,
eating away mercilessly like piranhas.
The rocks begin to deteriorate like my wretched nightmares,
as if it was inevitable for them to reciprocate this way.

I think to myself

Could I for once create something beautiful without the taint
of distortion my pessimistic perspective brings upon my cursed
brain?
Or is the lust after such a wicked dream be looked down
upon by my insides which take control of me?

Perhaps one should blame his imaginations
for considering such a change.
Imaginations which were once banished.
Ones leading to joy and happiness,
when one was once optimistic to the sun and the trees,
the butterflies in his stomach that
cause him to day dream.
The butterflies which took him away from the struggles, and constant agony.
The one that drove him away from the thoughts
of his uncles,
and made him believe they would be there as he woke.

The kind of imagination that
One must pinch himself to see if he's awake.

But why do I feel?

                                                                I once had the power to dream,
                                                 To think such miracles were real.
                             I dared to think there was such a thing.

                                                     My creativity got the best of me.

Father forgive me for these dandelions continue to grow,
thoughts in the mind spread like seeds.
Truthfully in the garden they ought not exist.
Reminds me of particular humans fallen,
and inflict a stain in humanity.

Can we mow them as the dandelions are purposed to be?
It's quite possible yet that will only plant another seed.
It is impossible to cease this breed.
Can you teach humans?
Sadly, a dog can only learn to sit and jump.
As a dog pants, so will these humans behave in this way.

They say there is a distinct difference between humans and animals,
humans can build houses, talk and use money.
Wait,
Humans just know how to ruin themselves well.

Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King Jr.

Saw the problem with humanity.

Congratulations,

Yet shockingly,
We have found a way to make equality bad.
At least we can agree on that.
Equally rotting away,
we come to the realization even those in our culture deserve
to be executed.

Can you hug your brother your mother your sister?
Aunt, uncle, grandparents?
Or are you too busy fighting those around you
only selective to a few who toxify you?
And you call those your best friends?

My garden,
Is full of Lilly's,
Daisy's,
Rose's filled with thorns
And
Grass that pains me.
Hard to maintain,
water and love.
My family is the hardest to deal with but the same as a garden it undeniably needs love, attention, forgiveness.

Refrain from being the dandelion.

It was many and many a year ago,
  In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
  By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
  Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
  In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
  I and my ANNABEL LEE;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
  Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
  In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
  My beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
  And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
  In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
  Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
  In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
  Chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
  Of those who were older than we—
  Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in heaven above,
  Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
  In her sepulchre there by the sea—
  In her tomb by the side of the sea.