It seems that the first time i entered you
i've lost some crucial part of me inside you
and so i come inside you
again and again and again
trying desperately to regain it

I don't believe in existence of soul
but there must be something inside me
with a hole growing in it

At fortnight it awakes and grows
It runs between a shoe and toes
It hisses, rustles, up it goes
And resonates

It softly comes, it quietly leaves
Behind a knot one can unweave
In hundred ways

The mist that falls upon the lawn
On summer days

Then, in the hour before the dawn
It resonates

Its tongue is pretty poor for words
It speaks instead in subtle chords
No one can play

There, in the shades, black, blue and green
There, in the cut between the scenes
There, where it hardly can be seen
It resonates

You, my little wonder, are a metal instrument, pulling milk teeth
A punch in a stomach, followed by a muted growl
Soft, sweet children’s skin torn violently apart by rabid dogs
A throbbing fist, clenched so tight that nails penetrate a palm

You, my little wonder, are the sea of blood
Where the waves boil and burn in a hellish storm
Where the seagulls holler
“Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!”

You, my little wonder, are my trial, before which I stand naked
Exposed and ashamed, like a local ****
You, my little wonder, are my nightmare that rips my mouth apart and pours itself in

You, my little wonder, are a little wild child, naked, all in blood,
Crying for your mother, lost in the street
Among the dancing snowflakes, too soft, too light to ever touch you
You, my little wonder, are my darkest love, my darkest fear

It’s a goodbye to the birdies
It’s a goodbye to the car
It’s a goodbye to the bridges
That have taken us too far

You’re a flag behind my window
You’re a shadow on the wall
And if I break what I play with
Guess I shouldn’t play at all

And you’ve been to Montenegro
Where the sun has touched your face
All the vehicles and buildings
Synchronized to match your pace

Had your voice tracks for a weapon
Had your picture for a guide
Now there are men behind my doors
And they won’t let me go outside

So let the land be yours
All beneath your feet
Be a current flow
An electric heat
Be the rising sound
Be the river deep

And when the wicked, twisted ways have led me here
I’m standing tall
Wave a flag behind my window
Cast a shadow on my wall

Standing at the subway station
waiting for you
with an expression of a dark, no-****-in-his-pants intellectual on my face
waiting for you

Turning my head slowly, clockwise and back
Seeking you
Like a radar
Seeking you
Like a sinister black device of war
Seeking you
Like a killer waiting for a chance
Seeking you

Everything will be alright as long as I don’t see you
I will be alright as long as I don’t see you
My heart won’t madly throb as long I don’t see you
My stomach won’t be twirling as long as I don’t see you
My nerves will sleep in peace as long as I don’t see you
My hands won’t quietly shake as long as I don’t see you

I try and love myself as long as I don’t see you
I can do anything as long as I don’t see you

As long as our eyes don’t meet
This sour ice won’t get to me

And just as long as long as I look away
My mind can reach a thousand ways
And I believe I’m free
As long as I don’t see

As long as I don’t hear
I can pretend I’m clear
In thought and in intention

As long as I don’t talk
My fear’s a word in chalk
And I can clean the board

So, after all I’ve said
Do I want to see or hear or talk to you?

Can I?

Please?