There was a
time so long ago
it's as if I was
someone else.

Back when
he was all
of what I had hoped
to become.

Throughout the years
he prospered as a
working man.
Which brought along
the burdens
of becoming a family
man.

As he fell
into the horror that
is "The Domesticated Life",
I was on the
streets doing
what I knew how.
Or surviving beneath the
long gun on a desolate
prison yard amongst
the souls that man
had condemned

As the drum roll
of the life that
is America
played itself
out like a re-run you've
seen too many times.
The working man
he had always been
began to turn
more into a drinking man.

There was nothing
romantic or
exciting about
his drinking.
Nothing good ever came
out of it.
Nothing like
when Hemingway
did it.
Or when Bukowski
took hold of
the bottle,then
mastered it.

His demise
approached like
a slow moving
swell.
Slowly gathering
up all he had
accumulated
throughout
his years
of labor.
Steadily
gathering
the momentum
needed
to fall a man.

And when that
wave of failures
and alcoholism
finally hit
the shores of
his reality.
His will had already
been weakened
and the little bit
of fight he had
left in him refused
to put up
his fists in
defense.

I bore witness
to that which has
to be far more
painful to see than
death.

I watched a man give
into the pull of insanity
as he threw it all away
without even the slightest
hint of grace.

The wreath on the door is black this year, the lights have all been turned off and there is not a lot of cheer. The message came on December 3rd. All of the presents have been put away and everyone has heard. We are going to the airport to pick him up and to bring him home one last time. He stood up for what he believed and now his work is done. His mother will be going to see him all dressed in black. She knows he won't mind it much, she is just glad he is coming back. At Christmas dinner there will be an empty plate. A folded flag will be sitting in his place. The mood will be somber as everyone gathers to eat. All will feel sorrow at the empty seat. The twenty gun still echo from when he was laid to rest. A solider won't be home for Christmas and he will be sorely missed.

Last night
When I open the window
A piece of the moon
That  fall into my glass
I drink water
With the moon

Like a mighty hurricane
Your memories play about my brain
Bringing forth both happiness and pain

This is what follows
When pulled under by the sorrow
My mind your absence trys to grasp
Breath quickens, to short little rasp
Heart beating at such a rate
It threatens to beat through my breastplate
Butterfly feelings, makes my stomach twirl
Like millions of delicate wings in a swirl
Sleep refuses to invade
All the memories with you I've made

Then the tears start to slide
Slow at first, like they're trying to hide
The shoulders that shake
Till my whole body quakes
Trying to keep the whimpering moans inside
But the wail breaks forth, with the pooling tears coincide

Every feeling for you is amplified
Every moment magnified
To your memory forever chained and enslaved
You left my heart engraved

Faith through the eyes of a child.
Walking the Faith out through obedience.
Yes we do from time to time miss the mark.
But when we sin or fail God, we get back up.
The only one whom was perfect was Jesus.
So there are believers in both parties here.
The only one whom truly knows the heart.
Is the only one quantified to judge any one.
So we fellowship, and allow God to work it out.
If there is a problem, the Christ shall reveal it.
Through the Holy Spirit that dwells within us.
Love one another with Christ Perfect Love.

In the blush of youth
It is easy to believe
In fairy tales
That a knight in
Shining armor
Will rescue one
From all their sorrows

In the Autumn of life
One finds that love
Is not always about
Happy endings
Love must come from within
Not from without

Self-love if often
Difficult…
I miss the love that
Is right in front of me
If I do not love myself
I end up rejecting the
Gift of love

Love tries to welcome me
And sometimes…
Sometimes
Love seeps in
Coloring my world in
Many beautiful hues
And I find acceptance

A beautiful gift is before me
For the taking
If only…
If only I would embrace
This precious gift everyday

Kelly Rose
© December 22, 2016