Anxiety gnaws at me,
and it’s hard to keep control.
I won’t let it drive you away.
I won’t let my fear
wrap chains around your wrists -
I have to let you breathe,
and maintain my own breathing
at the same time.

I can breathe,
I can control this.
I can keep us safe.

You lift
my heart
into the very center
of the universe
and fill it
with a cosmic magic
that gives me fresh life.

There is a sudden peace.

I stared the dark fog of death
in the eyes
and I never blinked.

I feel strong. I feel like
I understand.
I may not know yet
where I will go,
but I know now
how I will live.
My heart will lead the way,
for I know that it won’t lead me
astray.
The pain that I’ve felt
has only made me stronger,
so that I can survive the future.
I will not die,
for I have too much life to share.

you slowly push
my doubts away,
and every day
that we talk
i feel the hole fill.
the universe
might finally be kind
to my aching heart.
could you really be
the comfort
i’ve been seeking?

You make me feel
soft
and
warm,
And it’s such a nice change.

Someone will be reading this soon,
ready to learn my secrets,
ready to hear my thoughts.
And to you, new heart, I say,
Welcome to my world.
Tread carefully through these words,
for they contain a rollercoaster
of emotions,
a constantly shifting tide.
Here is where you see who
I really am.

Last night
I dreamed I was high,
Once again able to touch the sky.
I woke up
with my body aching
and my mind spinning,
and reality was all too real.