I've always thought of you
But the thought of loosing you,
Has driven me to pharmaceuticals.

Quit, I know I oughta to,
But I just feel the benzos pulling through,
What the Hell shall I do?

So I try to play it down,
Even though its only opie
It still aint half as bad as brown.

Lets lighten it up,
Don't wanna be no dope fiend
But like a pent up bull to red
I head straight for the shop bought codeine

Oh cody, you don't make me swell,
If anything man, you make my being well,
For that small amount of time
I feel I can take on the world
Until I get to tomorrow and I feel I've created Hell!

All the things we do,
Just so we can feel the warmth,
Finding our little cliques,
Just by the way we talk.

Have you tried this,
This ones hit and miss,
Mix it in with this,
For eternal bliss.

Now I've heard it all before
Nothing improves and nothing changes,
But there's something in the brain
That promises you can catch that Dragon once again.

The Dragon flies high
With the fire in his belly,
But you haven't any,
So why you trying to catch him.
(So why do you even try).

My next door neighbour
Is again kicking up a fuss,
So I creep up to the window
To see if I can suss,
I can't feel but upset
Is there something I dont get?

All the accolades up on the wall;
Fathers puffed out chest,
Misses in a fur shawl.
Memories framed everwhere
So many styles of hair!
Tickets to only the best shows
At front row yeah you dun kno!

I look away and with jealous dismay,
The latest car of this day you can finance with this pay unused on the drive way!

Suitcases packed, postcards sprawled on the wall,
Sun burnt in the chritmas islands
Been drenched from Niagara falls.

I look back in my window
Its all grey and dull.
There aint no one writing good times on my wall.
No happy birthdays, no pictures to share,
How can I prove that I existed?
Its like I wasn't even there.

Its bare because privacy is something that I care for,
Places I've been, therefore, I haven't captured those moments in time
Through components that engineer a digital eye.

But still, I can't help but wander into that snippet of their lives,
And wonder why it can't be mine.

But if only I could actually go through that door.
Living room on my right,
door locked tight,
The rest of the house is as grey and bleak as mine!?

Skeleton hands closing closet doors,
Not so distant relatives travelling alone in the halls.
The friendly ghosts of schools past,
Will tell you what they thought of them last; revealing why they no longer a part.

Neglected pets, ex's to forget, nasty little texts that capsized lives into wrecks.
Used baggies and tickets, earthy daggers and spigots that buried all the nasty and ***** secrets.
All the zits, the emptied makeup bags.
That was used as a mask to hide the upset and sad.

I peep in the living room (just one more time).
Yes, it's brighter than mine,
But I realise that I dont parade my life.

Peoples square or round window are always exciting but never do they let you look further in because it will unfurl their world and you might just start to realise they are just like everybody else!

Gosh, they are moddest when they are praised!
But no attention, well their wall will get another decorate until someone succumbs, ups a thumbs and shouts out 'you're great!'

My living room is better than yours!
There's these unwritten rules
Of the modern day society norms.

Get yourself into debt, when do you next jet set?
Aw your kid has taken their first step! What a pet!
Big bright signs signal the window display
"Look at my life, it's greater than great!"

Everyone, All role up this way
"I need you to see how my life is great.
Please don't go away"
Now their brain is racing, the fame needs chasing,
All for barren validation

The sun falls faster and the colour of the leaves I'm drawn to,
No longer am I longing for that lawn dew.
Gotta fight the cold, feel I need to wrap up warm too
As the season turns it's something that I can't warm to.

I see the squirrel foraging within the leaves,
What lies for him fills me with jealousy,
Because once his work is done,
He gets to sleep and just like the sun
We won't see him for several weeks.

Theres something I, just can't put my finger on,
Theres something that burns within
Me which lingers on,
It's as black as the winter clouds
I stop, think and look around
Has anybody else been veiled with this shroud?

Of course, smiling faces, festivities are near,
I can't face it, wake me when Easter's here,
When the sun goes, so does my soul,
Burns me up like Nich's coal,
Winters drawn and I can't go on.

Maybe it's in my breed, when I start the freeze,
My body starts to cease so I need to sleep
Within the winter leaves,
Just wake me please in 28 weeks,
Jeez!

The pain in my chest, it's all too much,
Had since I was 12 and nothing has changed
Its strange, I go blue and slow,
Before we get the snow,
And when we get that very first light
My body start to excite.

Sun worshipper - no I'm not,
I'm guessing its my body clock
No matter how I try to fight it off,
Its a feeling, I just cannot stop,
On the other hand the feeling can't be topped.

Maybe I'm like the birds, the bears and the lot,
Work hard all season now need this winter break,
To reset my brain, to enable me to carry on,
Just ring me when spring has sprung.

Pictures with smiles
Captured that moment in time
But look into my eyes
To see the truth that lies beneath

I wonder if I can set sail
Without the winds drawing me
Back to the looming shadow
That I'm anchored to

When the sun goes down
I know I'm safe and sound
Even when the sun comes round
I'm in trouble

I hide behind this veil
Like a thunderstruck willow
One day I can lift this shroud
And see the world not through
Swollen eyes of red and blue

Mundane days for me
Are nightmares to you
Please put me in an eternal dream
With freedom just like you

Fists of fury
Do I deserve it
Love is life
And nothings perfect

Eggshells broken
I didn't mean for that
You push me back
Before I can say sorry

Stories and films
They don't see
What love is like
This is love to me

Men never cry,
It's only the cry of boys,
No one can truly be a man
If your life is destroyed.

The fight we never wanted,
The perils completely unknown,
We dream through hellish nightmares,
We dream of the safety of our homes.

We hear the whistle blow,
Oh please wind, be it your tune,
We can no longer climb that trench,
Into the hellish, smokey plumes.

To all the soldiers that will fall,
To all the boys that fell,
Please accept us in Heaven, Lord,
For our time has truly been served in Hell.

Marshfolk Blues

This town I reside for years,
Through the joy the tears and the fears.
But my face don't belong
I whistle my own song,
While residents say go away, go away.

My friend she lives at 22,
She invites me in for a brew.
I repeat the same old line
Can we arrange for another time.
Now she tells me to go away, go away.

The ducks in the pond don't speak,
Not a quack, not a flap, not a peep.
They make waves to duck down
They don't want me around,
So stroll away, stroll away, stroll away.

The church's door is always closed.
The bell doesn't ring even when the wind blows.
It's pointless for me, to beg, pray or plead.
The Lord still bellows "Away, go away"!

The flowers no longer smell sweet,
Their colour faded as well in the heat.
I'm not chosen to pick, I pass by so quick.
The pungent haze blows me away.

The sea wall, you're my only friend,
A cold and stoney touch guardian.
Keeps me from seeking the end
But not today my old friend.
Because the waves will roll me away.

So we've run out of money
And I just don't know what to do
I feel I've gotta keep running
Straight in to the abyssal blue

No, waves don't hurt me
They cradle me in peace
My thoughts then desert me
The reef laid is my wreath

Work for your freedom
But soon they take it away
One cup of tea sir, ok,
But that will cost you a day

Notes in my pocket
But I don't sing no tune
My time is broken
Oh honey, honey, where are the blues?

In this tin beetle
Staring at a sea of red
Every person I've seen now
We share whats been said

Walking through the woods
Calmed by natures melody
I would if I could
I'd swing high with the trees

Maybe I should now
I'm a number and they don't lie
Tears of my loved ones
A guilty lullaby

Oh baby, baby,
I'm looking for you
They've taken my time
Whats left is for you.

Creak on through the door
Sorry I was so long
These thoughts to be destroyed
For you I need to be strong

It's the people I tried to touch
I have so much love for my flock
See them flock to my church
Unaware of the Devil's work

The Devil's work the innocent's screams
My body is the host in-between
It hurts you as it does to me
This is what's been chosen for me

Down on my knees but I'm not the first one to do so
Hands clasped together I'm talking to you Lord
Why have you burdened me with this demon
I just want to be a free man

I've touched the children's hearts more than you know
Turns it as black as coal
But no longer will it burn
A short-lived Desire I can no longer control

I'm meant to be the protector
The spoken word for the Lord Saviour
But Lord's house will never let you know
I put your lambs in danger

Lord it's forgiveness that I seek
For all the Moments that I am weak
You've burdened me with this demon of desire
For reasons I just can't find why

These are my beautiful children
Reveal my secrets and I will conceal them
This church is filled with love
Because we make sure these walls never speak

Here is the Church here is the Steeple
Open the door and there's all the people
No amount of Baptismal
Can wash out all the evil

Children leaving in tears
Children living in fear
Parents don't know and they never will
So just send them back home to that Church on the Hill

Never knowing what's going on behind those doors
But who are we to question the word of the Lord