Life is hard and it's crazy
Sometimes it's easy for people
Sometimes it's not
You could say life is like a video game
Some people have all 5 lives and when they get knocked down they have 4 more
And others are on their last life and are battling endless bosses
They might beat 5 or 6 on one life and get to the lat one and lose that last life
It's sometimes unfair to lose that last life and die and see the people with 4 or 5 lives get the prize
After you cleared the way and you get no repay for beating the bosses for them
Life is unfair...just like video games.

There is a constant thought pounding on one of the millions of invisible doors in my mind. They appear every once in a while but only for a second. I can never seem to find the door and when I think I have found it the pounding goes on somewhere else. There is never silence in this ****** up, poorly oiled machine I call a mind. I just want to find the one door and tell the pounding to shut the hell up so I can finally find the peace and quiet I so desperately need. I can only find one way to stop the pounding. I will not do that because the pounding would stop for me but will find someone new. So I sit here and take the pounding and search for it in hopes of finding it one day and making peace with it.

I shouldn't be trusted with a knife. The wish to feel the cold steel slicing through my pale clear skin is so constant. I could cut it so easily like cutting wrapping paper with scissors. I would do it to feel all the pain flow from the sharp, precise **** on my skin. I will never gather the confidence to do it though. I never have the confidence to do anything.