The other day I saw you.
You look so well.
I'm glad to see you smiling again.
I miss seeing that smile.
You used to look at me like that.

It's been so long since I have looked at you
with such longing.
It's been so long since I've missed you.
My heart was aching for you to come back to me,
but I know that we cannot be.
We've been there before.
We've grown apart.
We are not the same as we used to be.

I want to talk to you like we used to do.
I miss laying on the floor
and talking for hours.
I miss your kisses on my forehead.
I miss how our young hearts used to pound within our chests
when we held each other.

We may not be who we were.
We may be friendly with each other.
But we can never go back to the way things used to be.
I've realized that I'm in love who we used to be.
I think that's why my heart is hurting so bad.

I think I would welcome Death
if he came knocking at my door tonight.

I would greet him like an old friend and he would ask how I was. I would tell him that I haven't been feeling quite like myself lately.
Then, I would offer him a cup of tea.
He would nod and I would put the kettle on.

We'd sit at the kitchen table in silence until the kettle began to whine.
We'd drink Earl Grey with two sugars.
Then discuss business.

"Is it going to hurt?" I'd ask.
"Only a little." he'd respond.

I would cautiously sip my tea, careful not to burn my tongue.
Death would wait to drink his tea until it was cold and molding.

Death would tell me I looked lovely in the moonlight.
I'd tell him that's because my tear stained face and puffy eyes were less noticeable in the dark.

"Perhaps you could just **** the sadness inside of me." I would suggest as we stared out the window.
"That would be killing your entirety." he would reply.

And then I would gladly welcome Death as he kissed me goodnight and finally gave me some peace.

sometimes, the most painful goodbyes
are secretly the most beautiful beginnings
of things not yet experienced.
it is up to us how we view our ever changing world.
And thus I digress.