In this test of endurance,
Why would I listen to such hindrance
If anyone thought what I was going through is just pain
Haven't seen the things that I gain

Why would I listen to temptation
If they are only focused on their self-satisfaction
It is impossible for someone broke teach an innocent to be whole
Yet, someone who's full of their selves could broke an innocent in a whole

Threaded a different path
Not one that's has been taught but is forgotten
If this ended up in a bloodbath
It will be mine and mine alone, no one to show and hidden

a condition that allows freedom
whether the result may be 1 or 0
funny how it could assume by some
and be indifferent and just go

Apathetic as it may be
it may be the way things should be
As how hard would people need to see
To notice how horrendous its damage inflicted upon thee

We could only guess that they really don't care
As it things go without you in there
The X condition, Don't Care
Really makes me understand, I'm not really needed anywhere

It started with the unknown
This special feeling that have grown
A special person that with one smile could make me live on
And makes me want to bet my entire life on

As i knew, being an average person
I couldn’t expect anything on anyone
But, you on the other hand, swayed my heart that I lay down on submission
An impossible dream, as i reach for you, my only one

Time as always is the essence
But when it comes to you, i want you to know
Time also is the truth teller, that I hope it makes sense
That you are the reason I grow

I really hated my skin
Not because of it’s color
Neither was it for it’s complexion
But it was supposed to make me feel

On the contrary, it wasn’t my skin that feel
But my heart, the feels like it was going to peel
The one that aches whenever i tried
The one that break whenever i cried

As I tried hurting myself physically
It wasn’t my skin that is malfunctioning
But it was my heart, that not only does beating
It also does destroy me mentally

As fantasy were made to be a means to escape reality
No one would suspects that you would make it your new reality
Giving it name really did made it powerful
Even though it wasn't real but the identity that you gave it, made it wonderful
Losing grasp of reality, ultimately made a monster which ******* causes it to sin
One must think that it could all start if you imagine

In Solitude, i find something special yet cruel
Despite of caring too much, expecting to be reciprocated wouldn’t end well
How i envy those people who I must’ve called friends
For they have a someone as obsessed to care for others as their friend

In Solitude, i see peace in chaos
For it was the loudest noise that brings voices of ghosts
In Solitude, i see chaos in peace
Though stability is immaculate, it will cease to exist

In Solitude, i found me
A side of me that yearns more than what i am
A side of me that is more than it seems
For it was In Solitude that made me who i am

And I return into nothingness
A vision that just ends in hopelessness
Voices that would herald change
But the script of this play is still playing on the stage

Made a vow to myself to be humble
But the ego is so strong they just won't fumble
Neglecting logic and embracing emotions
Sacrificing understanding, minds in a constant state of erosion

Would Change be a cancer that kills?
Does the outcome it bring, gives the chills?
Does the false stability it brings gave you relief?
I hope that the future would not be cruel as how you were stiff

I ask myself the question, what lies beyond rock bottom

Wondering if i can get any lower than this
And everytime, life just knows how to do it
Now, even in my comfort space, it feels like an abyss
Then people just grabs my head and to the ground they drill it

To think it was a safe place was wrong
Oh how dumb was it that i haven’t notice it for so long

Dancing on fire was i, long before i realize
I was in hell disguise as heaven, fooled with lies
Ever wondering why would i need to crush my pride and ego to feed their own with my lies and compromise
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!
!

I want to express how I feel to you

Reality is somehow a blessing but it feels like pain
Even silly old me could be put into shame
Amidst everything that is objectively true
Loving you to me is the truest of true
Lonely are these days that you shut away from the world
You are the only who could change my mind to new from old

Love may be a strong word to say
Only you really made me feel this way
Vowed to my self that i might see it to the end
Ever wondering what is your perception of a happy end

Strange how this thing called "Love" work
How could it only struck me to you, that the other way didn't work
Alas, Having to meet you is a blessing that i have thanked gladly
Now, it does pain me to see you grow independently
Eager as i was i realized, the only one who was in love is me...

I never thought of giving up

Letting the years be my witness
On this path of hope and uncertainty
Vowing that I would meet you at my best
Ending this dream by making it a reality

Yielding to no one but you
Older we get, the greater we grew
Until we reached each other, me and you

Since that time, what i really want was
Having you here with me, was the aim
And I know you might not feel the same
No one asked me to do this and there is no one to blame
Even I, myself would agree but sorry if my greediness showed at last