loving you is like climbing up a tree
the more you climb
the more you have to lose
and the harder the fall is

Maybe time couldn't heal you
because you didn't let it

I just want it to end.

The hopelessness, the fear,
the constant critic in my head:
I've lived with them all for too long.

All I've ever known is this war, this endless battle.
There's nothing wrong with wanting it to end.
To wish that it didn't is cruel.

But why can't the best solution be the simplest?
Why do I have to keep fighting?

At times it's deafening,
and I'm so exhausted.

Why can't I just lay down in no man's land
and let this battle fall silent around me?

Why can't that be the end?

Because... I'll never know what's possible.

I am ashamed
At how broken i am.
I apologize
For the amount of stress
I may cause in the midst of your
Efforts of trying to keep me held together.
I apologize
that i continue to fall apart
Before your glue has time to dry.
I apologize
That every time you pick a piece of me up,
Yet another breaks.
I am trying.
You are fixing me slower than i am breaking,
And i am ashamed.
Thank you.
Thank you for not giving up
On a broken piece of nothing.

Make me great with your light
O Most Powerful God,
Keep your light shining on me
O Most Merciful God!

You stay in my entire life and death
O Most Gracious God,
My prostration is to you in full faith.
O Most Merciful God!

I don't want to go the wrong way
I wouldn't respond to others in a wrong way,
I just only want your mercy,
O Most Merciful God!

Please open the door of mercy
And forgive all of my sins
with your love and mercy
O Most Merciful God!

If I have done any little sin in the day
Turn me on the right path immediately.
O Most Merciful God,
Keep your mercy flowing to me, please!