pain that still exists in my lips and veins
blood was thick but lighter than my weight
your mornings, my nights
my mornings, your nights
heaven arrived at my door
when you moved by the lake

now under the same daylight
now under the same moonlight
sunflowers I planted point to your place
heaven told me,
“it was fated in the first place”

i wandered through the woods in my head
i drifted on an ocean made of my tears
always in search to find way out of gray haze
and so he painted my sky pink
when he stood by my grave

standing on altar
they said “greatest lovers united”
bejeweled in ‘shiny stones’
later to be thrown back
at me in courtroom

my obscured vision of love
i’m stripped off your ‘lover’ title
how did we get here? My love
from singing together at our wedding
to you playing at my funeral

trying to put back the bricks
that you once threw at me?

realization struck you
when I’m gone
your efforts will go waste
but dear you succeeded in saving your face
your tears of regret won’t dry any sooner
my love wasn’t an illusion
you will share my tears
but I wish you well
and someone who will share those tears

birds have nest and they call it home
but you sneak from my back door
in fear of your girl
when you can leave her
and we can build our home

you take the path away from plain sight
you use perfume to hide fragrance of our love
this affair born from match fire
and is burning my skin
tell me is the wait eternal? and
will the weight continue to grow?

loudest was the music from her parties
loudest was her audacity
to come in a town
and challenge the town’s rules
stole neighbor’s dog
and sent a clear message

her degraded reputation
and unnoticed kindness
got her a tag of mad woman
never scared of bringing change
Now a role model
For women in her age

darkness that once I befriended
is pulling its strings and laid down it’s plans
the tales I recited following the shadows
of his and her, my and their life
are being used as a canon
to shatter decomposed walls
who plead me to say “yes”

with every single breeze,
with every single breathe,
i refuse to kneel before defeat
in my cold barren land,
every season feels colder
but I’m looking at horizon
waiting for that summer
to let the dear readers know
“i’m trying not to dissolve in the darkness,
that eternal excruciating peace”

Dear readers,
i now recite a tale, a poem,

aviothic wishes, made from the glass
to hang in the hall, where peoples dance
if i rephrase it, i'm a mirroball
i carry the weight of my emotions and thoughts

the moon dancing around blue earth,
a mirroball in the space
shinning bright till the eclipse hit it
i'm fine till the mirroball breaks

i know i'm in pain but i'll still smile
shine like a star that never turns dark
you know,
the star has a work to do,
because down there somebody is looking for
something to look at
to calm their inner storm & be at rest

our long lost love in depths of time
our story like a folk tale
started with a kiss and ended in a torturous goodbye
will passed down in time
to be recited for generations
was never too pure and dark

in my wistoragic periphery,
i saw you come and leaving
i wonder,
what if our mondegreen conversations
never led us to different places?
what if you would've been the one?
the one i would dance with
the one i would host parties with
the one i would sing my songs to
the greatest love of all time in our own movie?