I've always been a weak swimmer
I'm afraid one day I'll sink
The seaweed will grab me
and my limbs will stop moving

My lungs burn with need
They won't get what they want
But then they collapse
And maybe my fears disappear

I've heard that drowning
is the most peaceful death

The dots of light under which I cry
I cry for the comfort I now can find
I smile for the light which holds me now
I sing for the stars that can hold the sound

I hear them sing our voices back
Every time I look into night
Echoing the laughter that we shared
Choking on tears only we can see

It happens every time I see the light
Of a sun that isn’t mine
They whisper again to me
The feeling of one that is

If I’m ever too much, reign me in
Don’t bite off more than you can chew,
And if I do feed it to you
Let it not be more than you can keep down

For I am a feast made for the gods
I know it can be too much
Please don’t eat too much today
For you might start to find the taste to be bland

I have a brother
I can't tell who it is
The word brother comes to me
With such a bitter taste
For my brother is a person
He could be one who used me
Or one who hates me
Or one who saved me
Is it literal or mental
Is it blood or adoption or feeling
Can I forgive the one who hurt me
Can I convince the one who hates me
I know I can love the one who saved me
I want it to be him

It feels like drowning
Sinking in, open mouthed,
Gliding across my body
Constantly making me swallow

All the gasping for breath
He makes my throat feel tight
I can feel him everywhere
Pushing in on all sides

My body gives in
So I finally can let go
Decide to give myself to him
In ways I’ve never known

I feel empty
Please fill me with the water
Because when I saw what he is
Death never sounded better

My airways close
And I can feel his breath
Brushing up like air bubbles
On the bare skin of my chest

He rocks against me
Up and down like the waves
Gentle and caressing
I let it pull me through the lake

But when I feel it brush against me
Like seaweed at the untouchable ground
That’s when I feel the urge to flee
Back up to where the surface hits
I know I can’t get too deep
Or I’ll awake and hate to drown

Butterflies with Broken Wings
I had a ring with a butterfly
The butterfly had a broken wing
I never wore it because it hurt
The edges would stab my hand
A man I loved saw that ring
And asked if he could have it
He said it reminded him of himself
Because butterflies with broken wings can still live
He said he found a way to fly
And that he thinks he’s doing good
I told him I’d never seen flight
Quite as beautiful as his